German-American Divorce - One child

[yourdaddy]

My wife and I married 7 yeras ago in Germany.

We have a 6 year old son, and have been living with in Germany the past 3 years.

My wife, from the US, has announced her wish to get a divorce about 2 weeks ago.

Since I am a trained mediator with one year of law school experience, I tried to come to a peaceful agreement. We asked a couple that we both know to act as mediators.

After almost 10 meetings and a lot of patience from our friends, my wife has not moved one inch from her demands:

1) She is going to quit all work completely.
2) She wants alimony and a monthly check for herself.
3) She wants travel to the US in about 4 weeks to find a place and a job.
4) When she comes back from the US, she is planning to come back to pick up our son. She hopes that by then a lawyer will have put enough pressure on me to give up custody for our child.

Although it seems very unlikely that a German court will grant her all of her wishes, she insists that she will find a way. Fearing the legal expenses, I have tried to keep the heat to a minimum and the case out of court.

The German legal process can take a long time to unwind. Her hectic behavior and her incessant pressure are making my daily efforts to find a solution for all aspects almost impossible.

In order to check all sides and viewpoints, I thought I'd enter an American legal forum to get some feedback.


Thanks.

 

[NYClex]

I am sorry to hear about this. Actually the case is relatively straight forward:

Since you both (or three) have been living in Germany for three years German family law governs.

Under German family law there is no way to keep this out of court and to avoid hiring a lawyer. A divorce must be entered by a court and a child support and spousal maintenance judgment must be entered also. In family proceedings German law requires all parties to represented by a lawyer.

So you have to find a lawyer and have him represent you.

Under German law the question of distribution of assets and maintenance are handled substantially different from American law. While American law attempts to put a finishing touch to the marriage by equitably distributing the assets of the couple and enabling them a new start in lefe without being burdened by liabilities, German law kind of keeps the marriage alive by putting heavy maintenance liabilities on the ex-spouses that in the worst cases can last ten years or more.

Your German lawyer will explain all that to you in detail, so I need only to give you an idea:

-Spousal maintenance: Under German law it is considered to be equitable if one spouse earns substantially more than the other, to make the spouse with the higher income liable for the other's maintenance even after the divorce. In a way both will be treated as if still married. Example: Husband earns $ 2000 per month, wife $ 1000. A German court could award the wife a monthly maintenance of $ 500 from the husband.

-Duration of maintenance: Under German law both spouses are normally asked to work themselves to reduce the maintenance liability of the other spouse. But the spouse with custody of the children is either not required to work at all or only part time up to a certain age of the children. Example:

Husband earns $ 4000 a month. Wife theoretically could earn $ 3000 a month, but because she has custody for a 10 month old child she is not required to work. In this case husband might be liable for maintenance to the spouse (!) of $ 1200. He additionally will be liable for child support of $ 1200. (Those numbers are just examples)

-Child support: Here German law is similar to American child support is set by the court according to the needs of the child. In most cases the courts use a table. The difference is, that while in the States child support usually ends when the child is 18, in Germany parents are liable until the child has finished his or her first fundamental education. In case of a college student that can mean that the parents have to pay child support until the child is 25 or older.

-Custody: Most German courts prefer to award joint legal custody and separate physical custody, which proves to be a very problematic system, especially when international issues are involved.


I wish you good luck

 

[yourdaddy]

German Custody Rights

If I am not mistaken, German courts are now attempting to split custody rigths into equal parts. Even if one parent gets physical custody rights and makes everyday decisions, legal custody remains both parents' responsibility. All large scale decisions, such as which school or college will go to, have to be made by both parents.

German Family Law seems to put great value in the child's "familiar environment". Although full physical custody might be given to one parent, the right to move substantially far away from the other parent is usually not granted.

 

[NYClex]

That is basically correct. Of course in cases where one of the parents wants to move to another country, there are major problems.

The courts will look at the individual case. In a case where the mother wants to move to the US and the father stays in Germany there will probably a different decision than in a case where the father wants to take the child to Iran and the mother will stay in Germany. In the latter it would be almost assured that the mother will have no chance to exert her legal rights under joint custody.