How long ago did you move from California?
The state is essentially paying itself back for your child's assistance - from dad's paycheck. You should be getting a monthly support stipend of $25-50 I believe, check with your support agency for the amount, if any. If he has an issue with how much the state is withholding, he needs to take it up with the state - it's out of your hands.
He has every right to ask the courts for permission to resume contact with his daughter. While it sounds like his reasons for limiting contact in the first place were dollar driven (he'd get out of CS if someone else adopted her) and somewhat smarmy, smarmy people are permitted contact with their kids all the time. Payment of support has NOTHING to do with custody or visitation in the courts eyes.
If you've been in your state over six months, the courts likely won't force you to move back and he'd have to file for a parenting plan modification (which you may have to travel back to answer if you can't get the case moved to Oklahoma). We can't lay odds on his chances, but 50-50 of a three year old who doesn't know him seems unlikely. He'll probably get something, you can push for supervised and/or graduated time for a certain period. He'd likely have to travel to see her until she's old enough to travel alone, and money seems like a big issue to him so that's not likely to happen. He may want 50-50 thinking that will eliminate his CS obligation, but it likely won't until your income approaches his.
Were it me, I'd stop communicating with him except in writing and then only briefly. If he balks, you could say you're worried about remembering something differently and this way lets you review who said what as often as you need to. If he wants to file for a modification, he can do so without harrassing you. Unless you have a dream job lined up, you'll need the assistance and his wages will continue to be attached. Even when you do get a job, it sounds like you might still want the state to help you collect CS.
