Im trying to find out how to help my husband. We both just found out he had two year old twins in virgina, the mom is in the navy who is in hati helping over there.The kids are staying with her cousins and my husband wants to get them over the summer but the mom says no and we want to fight for custody but he is scared that because she is in the navy and has never been in trouble with the law and he has, he thinks that she will get custody automaticly. he is currently living on the streets in virgina since we live in colorado just to see the twins and the moms cousins tell him he only gets certin hours with them, and it breaks his heart. They have never been to court for custody,but he just had a dna test done and she put him on the bc. so i guess i have more then one question...1. can he live virgina with the twins and not get in trouble? 2. will she automatically get custody of the twins since she has no record and he has something from couple years back?
fighting with a mom in the navy
- Thread Starter rakl1201
- Start date
- Status
army judge
Super Moderator
Let me try to get this straight, before I proceed.
You are married to a man, let's call him, Mike.
That makes you, Mrs. Mike.
You guys live in Colorado.
Mike had twins with another woman.
Let's call the twins, Mick & Mack.
They are living with Mermaid's cousin.
Let's call her Mermaid, because she's in the Navy.
Mermaid is deployed with the Navy in Haiti.
Mermaid has never been in trouble with the law.
Mermaid is also employed and being paid by the Navy.
Mike went to visit his kids.
Mike is effectively homeless, because you said he's living on the streets.
Mike and Mermaid had a DNA test performed.
Mike is the father, and Mermaid is the mother.
Custody has never been established by a court of law.
My advice is to have Mike return to Colorado, immediately.
From what you indicated, he's effectively homeless, trying to visit Mick & Mack.
A court won't look kindly towards such actions.
Then he should speak with an attorney about establishing legal custody and child support for Mick & Mack.
What you've described about what he's doing to see his kids is heartbreaking and frightening.
He needs to be employed, or seeking employment.
His visitation rights aren't determined by his ability to provide child support, but also by his actions.
He needs the advice and counsel of an attorney in your area.
Or, he needs to do his research if he plans to represent his own interests in obtaining a custody order and child support orders.
Please, for his sake, ask him to come home to you?
That way you guys can discuss all of this and decide how you plan to proceed.
If I've gotten any of this incorrectly, please correct I've misunderstood!
Oh, one more thing.
What was Mike convicted of two years ago?
Is he on probation or parole today?
Last edited:
So yes you got that right...
mermaid did not tell mike bout the twins until two weeks ago when he happend to be in virgina anyways.He was convicted of trespassing and resisting arrest but that was 2 or 3 years ago i think he might of got probation on it but any trouble mike has got into was before mick &mack were born(he has changed alot since we got together) I have begged him to come home and he plans to on Sunday but he doesn't want to leave the twins behind because they are going to re locate to London with mermaid at the end of May.He feels he will never see them because of that and they twins cry every time mike leaves for the night so he doesn't want to just leave them.He wants to bring them home with him this week but doesn't want to cause legal problems and get in trouble. He just wants the summer with them but she keeps saying no so he is trying to spend as much time with them since he already lost two years. If he did decided to get custody of them because we can provide a stable home and a good loving family instead of them always relocating and living with her cousins while she is doing different projects with the navy would that help him in court? He doesn't like leaving them with her cousins(not that they would cause them harm) but because the cousins are basically living off what the navy provides for the kids.He doesn't want to start a a court custody because he feels they will look at him as the bad guy for not being around and for being in trouble in the past and she is the sweet innocent navy girl...plus not sure how it would work since she will be in London or where ever the navy sends her...can he get temporary custody of them while going threw the court hearings?
mermaid did not tell mike bout the twins until two weeks ago when he happend to be in virgina anyways.He was convicted of trespassing and resisting arrest but that was 2 or 3 years ago i think he might of got probation on it but any trouble mike has got into was before mick &mack were born(he has changed alot since we got together) I have begged him to come home and he plans to on Sunday but he doesn't want to leave the twins behind because they are going to re locate to London with mermaid at the end of May.He feels he will never see them because of that and they twins cry every time mike leaves for the night so he doesn't want to just leave them.He wants to bring them home with him this week but doesn't want to cause legal problems and get in trouble. He just wants the summer with them but she keeps saying no so he is trying to spend as much time with them since he already lost two years. If he did decided to get custody of them because we can provide a stable home and a good loving family instead of them always relocating and living with her cousins while she is doing different projects with the navy would that help him in court? He doesn't like leaving them with her cousins(not that they would cause them harm) but because the cousins are basically living off what the navy provides for the kids.He doesn't want to start a a court custody because he feels they will look at him as the bad guy for not being around and for being in trouble in the past and she is the sweet innocent navy girl...plus not sure how it would work since she will be in London or where ever the navy sends her...can he get temporary custody of them while going threw the court hearings?
army judge
Super Moderator
Thanks for confirming my understanding.
The only way Mike can get custody legally is through the courts.
Keep asking him to come home.
Until he establishes custody in court, he is only the putative father. In effect, he has no legal rights to them until he gets a court to say so.
If Mermaid were to die, Mike would still have to petition the courts to assert his legal rights to custody.
Here's what Mike should do.
Return to Colorado.
He has no real criminal record it seems.
Good.
It doesn't matter anyway, unless he's a child molester. He's not, so we move on.
You guys need to speak with a Colorado lawyer.
Mike can't just take the kids, even from the cousins.
He has to ask the court to establish his paternity.
The DNA test helps.
Then he needs to ask for visitation and make his case for custody.
Mermaid will make hers.
The Navy will make sure she responds and comes to the hearings.
That us why Mike needs to do this in Colorado.
You and Mike show what great parents you'd be for Mick & Mack.
To do that you need an attorney.
You could speak to a couple about this, so when Mike gets home, he can start his action.
This is going to take time and money.
How much?
Don't know?
Mike should not take those kids without a court order.
If he does, he can be charged with a very serious felony and he'll probably never see them again unsupervised!!!
Good luck.
The only way Mike can get custody legally is through the courts.
Keep asking him to come home.
Until he establishes custody in court, he is only the putative father. In effect, he has no legal rights to them until he gets a court to say so.
If Mermaid were to die, Mike would still have to petition the courts to assert his legal rights to custody.
Here's what Mike should do.
Return to Colorado.
He has no real criminal record it seems.
Good.
It doesn't matter anyway, unless he's a child molester. He's not, so we move on.
You guys need to speak with a Colorado lawyer.
Mike can't just take the kids, even from the cousins.
He has to ask the court to establish his paternity.
The DNA test helps.
Then he needs to ask for visitation and make his case for custody.
Mermaid will make hers.
The Navy will make sure she responds and comes to the hearings.
That us why Mike needs to do this in Colorado.
You and Mike show what great parents you'd be for Mick & Mack.
To do that you need an attorney.
You could speak to a couple about this, so when Mike gets home, he can start his action.
This is going to take time and money.
How much?
Don't know?
Mike should not take those kids without a court order.
If he does, he can be charged with a very serious felony and he'll probably never see them again unsupervised!!!
Good luck.
I'm only going to disagree slightly with Army Judge. If the children have resided in Virginia for more than 6 months, Mike will need to file for paternity/custody/support in Virginia not Colorado. He may be better served by retaining an attorney in Virginia before he heads home. With the kids not currently in possession of mom, he MIGHT have a chance of being allowed to bring them home (on a visit -- after paternity is established) until Mom returns from deployment but due to the Soldiers and Sailors Act he would most likely have to return them to mom the day she returns pending the outcome of the court case (custody cannot be changed while Mermaid is deployed).
army judge
Super Moderator
Mike can bring the action in the jurisdiction in which he resides.
Colorado is the appropriate forum for Mike.
The Navy will see to it that Mermaid, if served properly, responds and defends the Colorado action.
Mermaid can assert certain defenses, which could forestall Mike's action.
As a Virginia court has no jurisdiction over a Colorado resident, Mike's proper forum is Colorado.
Costs would make Mike's paternity, custody, and support action prohibitive in Virginia.
Mermaid is assigned to a ship based in Florida, if I recall correctly.
This is going to be a complex action no matter where its begun.
A Colorado court is going to have difficulty obtaining jurisdiction over a Florida active duty person.
But, the military always cooperates with civilian authorities in these matters.
i dont think him filing there will do any good she is leaving to london with the twins on may 25th..all he wants is the summers for right now. He wants to be able to leave may 1st with them threw aug or sept. since she is moving out of the country with him, does she have any legal right to keep them from coming back with him?
army judge
Super Moderator
Yes, that is the worst thing he can do.
He can be charged with a very serious felony and might never be allowed to see them again.
He has no standing to do anything to those kids without establishing paternity and getting a custody order in writing.
If he takes those kids, he'll go to prison.
army judge
Super Moderator
PQN2 said:
Because Mermaid is in the military.
Her command will see to it that she responds to all court processes.
You can submit to a court's jurisdiction.
Mermaid isn't from Virginia.
She's from Florida heading to London.
Her kids are being kept by cousins in Virginia.
I still dont understand why he cant take the kids if he is on the birth certificates and has had a dna test one to prove he is the father.....so why does he have to do so threw the court?? I just dont get it, if he comes back here he doesnt know when he will see the twins again because they will leave in may.
army judge
Super Moderator
I can't be any more clear.
If he takes those kids, its considered a crime.
Yes, he may not see them again for a few months or even a couple years.
If he takes them, he'll get convicted, labeled as a sex offender, and he might NEVER see them again, anyway!
He is a legal stranger to those children, until a court says otherwise.
He will be prosecuted.
He may be on the birth certificate, but that doesn't matter.
Parental rights for UNMARRIED men must be established through the courts.
That is done by a DNA test and a court order.
It doesn't matter what you or I think about this.
If he does that, he's going to be in BIG trouble.
Then you'll be back on here, asking how to help him get out of jail.
THEJKH1999
New Member
It seems wierd that as a father on the BC and there is no custody established that he cant take them, he has just as much right to them as she does at this point since custody hasnt been established in either of their names.
Proserpina
Moderator
This is because Dad was unmarried to Mom - he does NOT have equal custodial rights until a court grants those to him.
Mom is by default the only legal custodian at this point.
- Status
Ask a Question
Share this page
