Father wants to sign over rights

[Qtpimel07]

Hi I am currently still married to my children's father. We will be getting a divorce. Just haven't had the money to file. He is behind $3019.00 in child support. Just law another job that they were beginning to garnish his wages. He has already been in contempt for not paying & we have a court date with DCFS in November. He sent me a text on Friday stating he wants to sign his rights over to my fiancé. And stated that he hasn't been the dad he was supposed to be & that my fiancé is better for them. My fiancé & I have been together for almost 2 yrs. He has been in my sons life since he was 1 (he will be 3 in Jan) & been in my daughter life since she was a month & a half (she will be 2 in dec). My ex & I agreed that I will drop all past due & any further child support with him signing over his rights. My ex has been in & out of my children's life since we split. Has only seen them for a few days at a time for a total of maybe 8-10 in 2 yrs if even that much. My fiancé has supported them, provided shelter clothing food etc. My question is what steps do I need to take (the cheapest) in order for this to take place. My fiancé is more than willing to adopt them. I will be filing for divorce once I get my taxes & can pay for it. But my fiancé & I didn't plan to marry until 2016 so we could save for a nice wedding. So do we need to be married in order for him to adopt if my ex is willing to sign over rights & allow my fiancé to adopt?? Do I need a lawyer or can this be something I can do on my own. I live in Louisiana & have searched for answers. But everything I've found is different. Please help with any information you can. Thank u for ur time.

 

[mightymoose]

He sent me a text on Friday stating he wants to sign his rights over to my fiancé.

He can't. There is no such thing.

My ex & I agreed that I will drop all past due & any further child support with him signing over his rights.

You can't. Apparently the court ordered it to be paid.

My question is what steps do I need to take (the cheapest) in order for this to take place.

It costs nothing to do nothing.

 

[army judge]

Children aren't chattel, they're human beings. A parent can't sign away their legal obligation to support their children like they would the title to a car they've sold.

See a lawyer, ask him or her, hear it from the horse's mouth.
The initial consultation is often provided free of charge.

 

[Qtpimel07]

Ok we'll I don't understand why he can't sign them over voluntarily. He doesn't see them, text to check on them every few months. If he wants to sign them over bc he doesn't want to be in their life than why can't he?? If my fiancé & I need to be married then we will but telling me that someone can't sign their rights to their children is crazy. Also, I think of my children as human beings!!! I'm stay home with them everything. I have also recently found out my son has autism. And I'm doing everything I can to get him all the help he needs. So I most certainly don't think of my kids that way. I am not trying to be rude it just doesnt making any sense what I was told. I get my fiancé & I need to be married, & the fact he can't sign them over just bc of child support obligation. But that's not the only reason. We don't have a custody/visitation setup. I don't let them go visit him anymore. He tells me he doesn't call, txt, ask to see them etc bc he doesn't want to.

 

[Qtpimel07]

Oh btw the child support obligation is through the state. And they said if I want to close out my case, then I can. And it would be up to me to decide if I want him to still owe the arrears but that all future payments can be stopped.

 

[army judge]

Ok we'll I don't understand why he can't sign them over voluntarily. He doesn't see them, text to check on them every few months. If he wants to sign them over bc he doesn't want to be in their life than why can't he?? If my fiancé & I need to be married then we will but telling me that someone can't sign their rights to their children is crazy. Also, I think of my children as human beings!!! I'm stay home with them everything. I have also recently found out my son has autism. And I'm doing everything I can to get him all the help he needs. So I most certainly don't think of my kids that way. I am not trying to be rude it just doesnt making any sense what I was told. I get my fiancé & I need to be married, & the fact he can't sign them over just bc of child support obligation. But that's not the only reason. We don't have a custody/visitation setup. I don't let them go visit him anymore. He tells me he doesn't call, txt, ask to see them etc bc he doesn't want to.

You were given an answer in legal terms madam.
If you find it unnerving, disquieting, or annoying; I suggest you lobby your state legislators to change the law.
Yes, children are not personal property that parents can own and control, or assign to others.
I'm a nothing a nobody, just an Old anonymous dude on the net.
I've never made one law in my life.
I've been controlled by laws for years, nothing I can do but obey them,because I like to be free man.
Savers was outlawed decades ago.
People, that includes parents don't own people, so they can't assign their parental rights and obligations away for others to perform.
I am not saying I like their laws, honestly, I don't care much for any laws.
That's neither here nor there, madam.
I suggest you speak to a few attorneys in your county, check out the information we've provided to you.
Or, Google if yourself.
Your answers are but a few keystrokes away, happy and productive searching.
I wish for you the happiness you seek.

 

[KatDini]

BEFORE Dad can sign away his rights, YOU HAVE TO BE MARRIED, and your husband agreeable to adopting the children. The MARRIAGE must have been in existence for some time before the state will allow this to happen.

The State will not allow him to sign away his rights otherwise because the state is NOT going to bastardize children, nor leave them without both parents' financial support. And in many states, one cannot forgive arrears of child support in a TPR/step-parent adoption because it is thought that NCP would not sign away his/her rights unless CP paid him/her to do so.

And you'd best remember, that when/if you divorce your SECOND husband after he has adopted your children, he has as much right to them as YOU do, just as if he had been the one to sow those oats.

 

[shrinkmaster]

Ok your still married but engaged to another!? Your current husband wishes to relieve himself of his parental rights and give them to your fiancé. Its not that simple. Its a long process and it really cannot even begin until your Divorced then marry this new man and have been married for anywhere from 6 months to one year. A background check will be done on your fiancé and other measures which will take a year or so. Right now your look at minimum of about two years if you start today. Here is some additional info that might be useful http://www.parentnook.com/step-parent-adoptions/ its not legal advice but still useful

 

[Qtpimel07]

The only reason I'm still married is because my ex was supposed to split the cost with me & never has. We have been split for over 2 1/2 years. I planned on filing for divorce when I receive my taxes. And I didn't plan on getting married to my fiancé for another year or 2. Btw since there seemed to be some judge mental comment about me being engaged & still married I've known my fiancé & been friends since middle school. So it's not I just met him. I think I've got enough information here. I will just trying to get a little help. But I will contact my attorney Monday morning. Thank you!

 

[KatDini]

You can't have a fiancé whilst still married. It doesn't work like that. :no:

 

[Qtpimel07]

Who are u to judge & say it doesn't work like that. Sorry but I believe I got asked & have a ring. Divorce was supposed to be done by the time my fiancé proposed but as I stated my ex didnt do what he was supposed to!! Sad part is I've read a lot of comments everyone has put on people's questions, & honestly I don't think anybody is giving full stories bc message would be extremely long. So for y'all to judge everybody from the little bit of info people have given is ridiculous. People are asking for help not judgemental comments. I'm sure everyone who answers questions do not have perfect lives. But who are we to judge one another. Be kind, god doesn't like ugly!! Geez!!

 

[shrinkmaster]

You do realize that some county can waive fees for those who meet criteria? None the less you time factor to get this done is still at least two years give or take a few months

 

[ElleMD]

If you think this board is bad, you haven't seen a family court judge when you parade in with a fiancé and a barely ex-to-be-husband. You had barely given birth and consequently, couldn't have been even separated all that long when "fiancé" appeared on the scene. That your ex is a lousy dad and can't be bothered with his kids does not absolve him of paying child support. Visitation/custody and support are two separate things. The courts are not going to place the financial burden for two children on mom's friend. At this point, legally speaking, that is all he is. He has zero legal tie to any of you and could walk away tomorrow. Even if he got hit by a bus, you have no legal claim at all to his estate. Especially if you aren't working, that leaves their biological father for support. With a special needs child, this is all the more important. Dad doesn't have to visit, call, text, send a singing telegram, buy birthday gifts (though it would be nice), or do anything else related to the kids, but he is legally responsible for them financially. He can not just say he would rather not be a parent and get out of paying.

Before you start planning a wedding, you need to get the money together to file for divorce. The fact that you don't even have enough money to do this pretty much proves you are not capable of providing for the kids without your husband's support. I strongly suggest leaving "fiancé" out of the court hearing and equation.