Father needs custody asap!

[athena286]

My jurisdiction is: Mississippi

I had posted a thread about this earlier and need some type of response asap! My husband has and still is going through an extremely difficult custody battle for his three kids. His ex wife had cheated on him with another man and moved in with this man while they were still married. She even ran off with the kids and hid them from their father. While in her custody his oldest son was molested. He (the eldest son) claims she gave him a pill to make him sleep. He was seen by a doctor and it was proven what had happened to him. She also almost broke his arm and collar bone by throwing him down, and also spanked him until he fell on the floor and started kicking him leaving a bruised shoe print on his back. There was documentation on all of this by child services, our sheriffs dept, and our hospitals. A lot more abuse and neglect continued. When it came time for court, the kids, and my husband got screwed. She still got custody of the kids and all he gets is three weekends out of the month, and then in Summer every other week. His oldest son has signed an affidavit of preference and a the modification papers are already going through a lawyer. We believe he has been bribed/threatened by his mother to sign one for her as well. He had signed my husbands first. This women is a pathological liar, and also has bi-polar disorder, which she is not taking medication for. She has even gone so far as choking her youngest son by grabbing his neck, picking him off of the floor and throwing him when she gets angry. At this point my husband doesn't know what to do. Child services even accused his oldest son of lying when he went to tell them of the abuse he has to deal with from his mother. Now since we believe she has gotten my husbands oldest son to sign an affidavit of preference, he doesn't know what his chances are of even getting any of the kids back to a safe home. Since the final divorce decree and custody, my husband has medical documentation of poor hygiene of the kids, while they are in her care, and also there is documentation by the kids school counselor which works for a mental health facility,which consists of the kids speaking out against their mother. Please tell me what are his chances, and does it hurt my husband since his oldest son has signed two affidavit of preferences? Someone please help! These kids have had enough abuse, and when court rolls around this women really knows how to clean up her act. I f anyone has any advice we would appreciate it. Also we have been documenting everything she does and what we do for the past 2 years.

 

[Gail_in_Georgia]

In the eyes of the law there is no "we" here. You need to butt out of this. Legally you are considered to be a stranger in this entire business.

If your HUSBAND wishes to file for full custody, he needs to consult his attorney about such.

Gail

 

[athena286]

My husband is filling for full custody which is stated in the papers for modification which has been taken up with a lawyer but I still need an answer for my question. If his son signed an affidavit of preference for both parents can that hurt his chances of going where he wants to, or does that increase her chances of winning full custody.

 

[Gail_in_Georgia]

Quite frankly, many judges would not weigh in what a minor says he/she wants to do.

This is because all too many parents do exactly what the mother and father are doing with this child; using him in a tug of war between the both of them to get/keep custody of him.

Shame on both of these parents.

Gail

 

[athena286]

I'm guessing you are not a parent. Just imagine having an innocent child beg for you to save them from an abusive home. Having them explain to you in detail how they were sexually assaulted. MY step son was drugged and unconscious when this happened and police can't make an arrest since he can't identify exactly who did what to him. This women accepted money as payment to allow other grown men to molest her son. All my husband is trying to do is rescue them from this situation. The mother is the one playing "tug of war" as I think you put it. Not the father. Now it's people like you that turned my step son away, and accused him of lying when he was speaking out the truth to get help. It's people like you that turn their head from these situations and turn innocent children away that need help with you just assuming that both parents are at fault and assuming the children don't really understand what they want. So shame on you it's because of people like you that abuse rates are higher in children now. You just want to assume things instead of giving any type of real help. Does it make you feel better to comment on a situation you have no idea about while you sit infront of your computer mindless. I'm guessing this is as much human contact you probably get, through a computer. Pathetic. Shame on you for making idiotic assumptions. I really hope you are not a lawyer and if you decide to pressure that career I suggest you change your course now.

 

[Theresagail]

No it is not about the child, this is because your a Step Parent -- folks are not to fond of us "step parents"-- Because we are Strangers to the whole thing-- emotions and love aside-- we really dont matter.

 

[athena286]

I understand that in this situation I have no say and I basically do not exist. It needs to remain in the care of the natural parents, because this concerns their children. I just do not agree with someone who wants to assume that my husband is playing a game of "tug a war" with his children. That's the last thing this father would ever do. If the mother were actually a mother to these kids he has even admitted that he would keep things as they are, and not disturb the kids situation.My husband feels like a helpless father watching his kids get abused constantly and can not fully prove it (lack of evidence for physical abuse according to child services). All he has to go on is what the kids tell him. By the time they get home to him, all their bruises have faded, or any of the bruises that remain are almost completely healed. He has some proof of what the kids say but not a lot. All he has to go on is their word and child services wants to see proof of physical abuse before they remove a child from a home. So there's not to much he can do, except wait. His oldest son asked if he could move home with his dad when he turned 12. My husband had a serious talk with his son to make sure that is what he wants to do. They went and got the affidavit signed and papers for modification. His oldest son then got afraid that his mother would force him to sign one for her. He had told his father that she has been threatening that already and has told him that he is not moving back home with his dad, that he would go to a boot camp or a detention center if he kept pursuing it. The oldest son told us that his mother told him that she hated him because he was apart of his father and that she didn't want any of them, but hey were staying with her so she can get her money (child support). I just wanted to know what would happen if he signed two affidavits of preference, just to put mine and my husbands mind at ease. I would really appreciate it if some one could tell me instead of making an assumption about the situation. I already know what's going on, and I'm not getting in the middle of it, I'm just sitting on the side worried to death.

 

[Theresagail]

Well if this went to court, I would think the judge would want to talk to this boy-- in his chamber ( hopefully) to get a feel for what the child really wants with out any parents present--Your husband needs to get a attorney and file for custody-- the attorney will tell you his thoughts-- A judge should know that if a young child has signed to be w/ both parents then some one is playing mind games w. him--maybe even hooking the boy up w/ a child counselor so that documentation could be shown @ court as well-- Long story short this is one you need to contact a attorney to represent the child.

 

[athena286]

Thank you so much. A simple answer but comforting none the less. At least I know that there is a chance the judge will at least hear his side of the story, and hopefully he will be by himself with no other outside influences so he can make the decision he wants to. Thank you for giving my husband and I some piece of mind.

 

[athena286]

Is there any more advice you can give to help a father get his children back in the state of Mississippi. Mississippi favors women when it comes to child custody cases. Do you know of any organizations that could help or at least be of some use to the father?