FATHER FIGHTING 4 RIGHTS/Petition For Paternity

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antrod81

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Hello
i have been seperated from my daughters mother since april 2008 and since this time i have held a job since may 2008 lived in three residences. I do not use drugs nor have i been abusive to my daughter or her mother (in her counter petition she claims im physically abusive)( no police reports) . My background is not squeaky clean but i dont have any domestic violence or drugs charges- just traffic and stuff like that. I have played a very active role in my daughters life before and since the seperation. The mother has had a personal vendetta against me since the seperation to make my life as miserable as possible. Since the seperation she has refused contact with me to discuss the best interest of the child. She calls me private and has my daughter call me private whenver she bugs her mom about wanting to see me. She refuses to supply me with my daughters new address or name of the current school where she goes.

The only way i was able to stay in my daughter life is because since april 2008 the mom works 10 hour shifts (mon, wed, thur,sat,and sun) (1:30pm-12:30am) and goes to college during the day while my daugher is at school. Now the mother resides in st pete fl but my daughter has been going to day care since may 2008 in tampa fl (about 30 miles) away and my daughter is with her grandparents all the time!!!. Since i dont have any contact info for the mother and she will not speak to me i have been going through the grandparents. I signed my daugher up for (vpk) under my address in august 2008 and have been paying her tuition untill jan 2009-- during this time i have had my daugher spend overnights, whole weekends and picked her up and dropped her off at ballet practices and school..way more than 40% of the time. I have also documented everytime i called mom and didnt get at answer, i also documented everytime i had my daughter in my care and for how long with the pick up and drop off times to the grandmother.

The mother has stated to me that if it was up to her i wouldnt see my daughter but the grandparents stated to mother that if the child is in their care they will not deny my visitation. So most of the time the mother doesnt know my daughter is with me untill after she is in my care because there was no agreement on her side of the table just agreements through me and the grandparents.

This has been going on for almost two years now...most recently i have filed a petition for paternity to establish my parental right as a father and to get some time sharing set and make the mother provide me with pertinant info and so i can be well informed about the well being of my child. I did the petition pro se.. Because of the amount of evidence i had and the process seems fairly simple when you have a father that has been there from day one and continues to be there. I have backed up my claims of having my daugher in my care with sign-in and sign-out logs from the school and recents for tuition payments i also had her on my insurnace for a little while back in 2008 and part of 2009....i also have the incident log ( 100 entries) which contains the (person of contact, dates and times and events that lead to conclusions) ( good/bad) i also attached correspondence and responses that i personally mailed and emailed to the mother attempting civil meetings to discuss the best interest of the child.

Today i just recieved her response to my petition filled with lies and some documents prior to april 2008 and some after containing proof of healthcare , receitps that she paid some tuition and receipts for ballet class and a letter from her mother (of course) stating that my daughter was not on her lease therefore did not reside with them......her aswer to my petition also contains a typed out response stating :

My daughter never stayed with me or her mother
she states that i mentally physically and emotionally abused her
she stated i will do anything to get off child support
(child support was applied for april 08 and established june 2009)
she states she is ready to discredit everything in my petition (lol)
she also states that she wants background checks and drug testing for everyone in my household ( i live with my new girlfriend)

should i repsond to this repsonse or should i just set the mediation and i am also worried cause i beleive i will just waste my money in mediation because she is so ignorant that she will not agree to anything unless in the presence of a judge!!!

Is there any other evidence that i can bring to court or mediation to prove my case. Trust me i am a wonderful father and my daughter means the world to me!!!
(should i attach pictures of my daughter and i as well)

please please please help me ...!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Again i did ask for a modification of child support in my petition but that is not my main reason for the petition ....my main reason is to establish some order and a schdeule that i can see my daugher that way the mother cant change her mind at the last minuter and cause me to loose money on events that i have pre-purchased so my daughter and i can have a good time!!!!!!
 
You are on the right track with your thoughts.
But, what you desire is not easy to obtain.
Of course, her response would contradict yours.
Stay on point and PROVE UP your case.
If you prove your assertions, you win.
Its that simple, if she can not disprove your assertions.
Do not let her response distract you from PROVING your case.
Get a local lawyer to work with you, if you can.
Otherwise, you might also visit a nearby law school.
They have legal clinics, and most would be willing to give you advice on civil procedure.
Bottom line, you're headed in the right direction.
Stay focused, keep on point, and work YOUR case!

One more tip for you.
Get some character witness to testify on your behalf.
These should be people that have seen you parenting your child.
Her gandparents would be good to ask.
They have the child's best interests at heart.
They have been kind to you, and have worked with you!
Ministers, teachers, friends, and others that can testify to your good moral character and parenting skills.
 
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Should i respond to her response?? & set hearing?

Thank you i very much appreciate it ...

Mediation has sent her the financial affidavit and as soon as she turns hers in i can set the hearing date...

What type of mediation does the mediator do....does he/she really look at the case and the facts and offer suggestions about how it will pan out in court or does the mediator just sit there and allow the petitioner and respondent talk because i garauntee she wont talk to me or agree to anything with someone else taking charge of the situation....and that's really sad

its also sad that she is painting this picture of a single mom working and going to school and has to deal with a dead beat dad when that couldnt be soooo far from the truth it makes me crazy

should i respond to her response or should i just bring my evidence to the mediation????
 
No need to respond to anything, except in a court of law and under oath. People mess up talking out if turn.


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there has only been one child support payment made since june 2009... since then i have been down the the department of revenue trying to modify the child support becuase the figures were erroneous. the departement of revenue agreed that it should be modified but did not take the proper steps to change it. raising a child is more than just a financial obligation correct?

i dont mind paying child support if the figures are set up correctly through the child support guidlines.
 
antrod81 said:
there has only been one child support payment made since june 2009... since then i have been down the the department of revenue trying to modify the child support becuase the figures were erroneous. the departement of revenue agreed that it should be modified but did not take the proper steps to change it. raising a child is more than just a financial obligation correct?

i dont mind paying child support if the figures are set up correctly through the child support guidlines.
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You MUST pay the child support, even if the figures are wrong, UNTIL it's changed in court.

You're also the one who needs to petition the court to modify - they won't do it for you :)


Raising a child is so much more about money, absolutely - but this WILL be looked at. Although child support isn't a ticket to see your child, it is often (actually, "commonly" is a more accurate term) taken into consideration during a custody dispute. The fact that you haven't been paying may well support Mom's point of view.

I'm going to comment on one thing, about character witnesses. In family court, it really isn't going to matter as their testimony is very easy to discredit for bias. Friends and relatives - even those of the opposing party - may have an agenda and their testimony may well be considered compromised.
 
I dont know how much not paying child supoort will damage my case but for all intended purposes i dont see why the judge would not be able to looke at my history as a father and be able to make the right decision in the best interest for the child i know what i am trying to accomplish in court is not easy but i have logs, pictures and emails and letters to the department or revenue asking them to modify the support with stamped dates on my request that i have submitted to the court attached to my petition.

that would be a great injustice if my whole case lays on wether i paid child support or not. i am currently paying child support through an income deduction order.

and who else besides family and people close to me would be able to speak on and give a good account for my mental stability and parenting skills and moral. the people close to my daughter and i would be the best fit in order to get that side of the story. i also asked my supervisor at work to give me a charater reference letter.

this is a question for everyone what would be my strongest evidence or opposition to drive this case home and i be awarded shared custory/ joint and get child support modified...remember i am the petitioner and if the respondent felt that her claims were so strong why hasnt she filed any custody petition or charges against me for abuse and tried to drag me to court ...i'll tell you why ...its becuase all she cares about it the money and it doesnt matter to her at all if i see my daughter or not!!!
 
antrod81 said:
I dont know how much not paying child supoort will damage my case but for all intended purposes i dont see why the judge would not be able to looke at my history as a father and be able to make the right decision in the best interest for the child i know what i am trying to accomplish in court is not easy but i have logs, pictures and emails and letters to the department or revenue asking them to modify the support with stamped dates on my request that i have submitted to the court attached to my petition.

that would be a great injustice if my whole case lays on wether i paid child support or not. i am currently paying child support through an income deduction order.

and who else besides family and people close to me would be able to speak on and give a good account for my mental stability and parenting skills and moral. the people close to my daughter and i would be the best fit in order to get that side of the story. i also asked my supervisor at work to give me a charater reference letter.

this is a question for everyone what would be my strongest evidence or opposition to drive this case home and i be awarded shared custory/ joint and get child support modified...remember i am the petitioner and if the respondent felt that her claims were so strong why hasnt she filed any custody petition or charges against me for abuse and tried to drag me to court ...i'll tell you why ...its becuase all she cares about it the money and it doesnt matter to her at all if i see my daughter or not!!!
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Hang on - how is there an order for child support if you haven't yet been established as Dad (per your first post)?

Have you filed the right kind of petition this time around? It would appear that paternity is already established, and you need to be filing for visitation...
 
we were not married and i was advised by lawyers that i need to legally establish muyself as being the father and along with the petition covers visitation and custody and everyting i need to discuss.....the only thing she did was provide the department of revenue with my name on the birth certificate and they dont care about visitation or anything just the money ...and they filled an income deduction order on me!!! i did not properly change my forwarding addresses when i moved so i did not have a chance to contest the final administrative order for child support!!!!
 
As a single man, you have NO ASSUMED RIGHTS to the child. Watch the movie trailer at YouTube called "A Father's Rights"

Get an order enter forcing a DNA test, unless one has already been done.

DO NOT PAY ANY KIND OF SUPPORT FOR THE CHILD UNTIL A DNA TEST IS DONE, AS IT ACKNOWLEDGES YOUR FINANCIAL RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE CHILD.

Once you begin paying child support, regardless of whether you are the father or not, you can be required to continue paying.

If you are paying without a court order, it can be considered a gift, with you ordered to repay for the same time period, especially if she's on Welfare, up to 18 years worth.

If one has not been done, go to the child support enforcement to setup a voluntary order. Wait for them to file against you will result in you paying all court costs of up to $5000.

Take a certified parenting course. The court is going to order you to take it anyway, so by showing you've taken it only looks good to them.

Start keeping a Daily Journal of all your activities. The most common way to prevent a father from getting his rights through the courts is a false allegation. A Daily Journal is your number one piece of evidence in court and you can even refer to it while on the stand.

Gather evidence. Go to rcfp.org/taping to see if it is illegal to record conversations without the other person knowing. If your state does not have a law either way, than it defaults to the federal ruling which says one person in a conversation must know they are being recorded. You're that one person. In Missouri it is specifically legal, in Kansas there is no mention either way. If you live in two different states, and one has a law against it, than it applies when the call originates from within that state. Now, you can't just record, you also have to transcribe it into the daily journal.


If you are being denied access, write her a letter notifying her of intent to exercise visitation on a specific date, like Saturday 10 AM to 6 PM. Sign it and make three copies. Mail the original Certified Mail and the other with Delivery Confirmation (75¢ + postage). If she rejects the one, she still receives the other. Whether the Certified Mail confirmation card or the Certified letter comes back, attach it unopened to a copy of the letter, plus a printout of the Delivery Confirmation from the web link below.

When you file for visitation rights, take these documents to the County Courthouse. Have the Clerk of the Court notarize it and than place it in your case file. Do this three times before considering going to court. When you do go to court, the judge will these letters while preparing for the hearing.

When you show up to pick up the child(ren), bring witnesses. Do not enter her place alone. If you can record, have someone video record. Check the site below to see if it is illegal to record audio and/or video without the mother knowing. If her state does not have a law either way, than it defaults to the federal ruling, which says one person in a conversation, must know they are being recorded. THAT'S YOU!

The court will order you into mediation, so take the lead first and suggest it to her. Instead of hiring attorneys, going to a mediator, you can hammer out an agreement. A mediator is an attorney or paralegal with certified training as a mediator. You each have to pay half the fees in order for the mediator to have the appearance of being unbiased.

If you and the mother are civil, consider Bird Nest Custody. In this the child lives in one home and each parent live there for 3-4 weeks, than switch. You live with friends, family, rent a room, etc. on the off time. In this manner, your child's life is not disrupted. They are not being shifted back and forth. They keep their own room, friends, school, etc. It is hard on the parents, but than the child comes first. This is the form of custody rocker Ted Nugent had.
 
Cab please STOP - he's already undergoing a wage attachment. Advising him to stop is going to land him in BIG trouble, EVEN IF he's not the child's father.
 
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