Ex's new girlfriend threatens me with physical violence, can I keep my kids from her?

[BrittanyWade86]

Jurisdiction

Texas

My ex moved a married woman (she is 26 and her current husband is 60) he met at a gas station where she works into his home after two months of knowing her along with her 8 year old son. She has threatened me and had her friends threaten me with physical violence for being concerned with the new living situation and what kind of life style my children would be exposed to. She has prior meth charges and has moved her son in with 5 different men in the past 8 years. We are a very conservative christian family and my ex seems to be going through some sort of mid life crisis or something. The kids do not want to go to their fathers house while this woman is there and have repeatedly begged him to see them without her present and he refuses. He is now threatening to take me to court for not allowing my children at the home with the new girlfriend because of my concerns and her threats. I am in a committed relationship with a man for almost two years who has been an excellent example to my daughters and is a normal functioning adult who attends mass every Sunday, college educated and has custody of his daughter exactly 50/50. The two relationships are not comparable AT ALL and we do not live together.

 

[army judge]

If you have a child custody and visitation order you must obey it.
If no such orders exist, you don't have to allow YOUR children to visit anyone you don't wish them to visit.

I suggest you do nothing, say nothing, or in anyway interact with drug abusers and their friends.

A drug abuser has no concern about children, unless he or she is abusing children, too.

Bottom line, no court order, you don't have to allow your babies to leave your home.

It is never wise to defend your lifestyle or compare to others.

There's nothing for you to defend, especially if you were never married to the man who purports to be their father.

If an unmarried male wants to be the legal father of a child born out of wedlock, that male must petition a court (or the state child support agency) to establish his paternity by DNA testing, not merely by affirmation.

 

[BrittanyWade86]

We were together for 12 years, he is the legal father of my 8 and 4 year old daughters, we have a parenting plan from the OAG and he pays child support but have never been to court etc. He states he now has a lawyer and will be suing me for visitations even though he has only seen the kids 4 times in 2017.

 

[army judge]

We were together for 12 years, he is the legal father of my 8 and 4 year old daughters, we have a parenting plan from the OAG and he pays child support but have never been to court etc. He states he now has a lawyer and will be suing me for visitations even though he has only seen the kids 4 times in 2017.

You have the equivalent of a custody order.

You must abide by that order.

If you disobey the order, he could seek sanctions of you by the agency or the court.

If he has a lawyer, it means NOTHING to you until you are summoned to court.

When you are served and summoned to court, you appear and defend your position.

Gossip isn't useful, but testimony proving the children are endangered by his behavior could be beneficial.

If you are served and summoned, I suggest you retain legal counsel to assist you, otherwise you could get steamrolled by his attorney.

If he receives visitation but CHOOSES not to use it, that's his choice.

What you can't do is deny him visitation, once the judge issues the order.

 

[zddoodah]

You are obligated to comply with the terms of the court's visitation/custody order until and unless the court modifies that order. If you believe the current circumstances warrant a modification, you are free to request that the court do so.

 

[leslie82]

My ex moved a married woman (she is 26 and her current husband is 60) he met at a gas station where she works into his home after two months of knowing her along with her 8 year old son. She has threatened me and had her friends threaten me with physical violence for being concerned with the new living situation and what kind of life style my children would be exposed to. She has prior meth charges and has moved her son in with 5 different men in the past 8 years. We are a very conservative christian family and my ex seems to be going through some sort of mid life crisis or something. The kids do not want to go to their fathers house while this woman is there and have repeatedly begged him to see them without her present and he refuses. He is now threatening to take me to court for not allowing my children at the home with the new girlfriend because of my concerns and her threats. I am in a committed relationship with a man for almost two years who has been an excellent example to my daughters and is a normal functioning adult who attends mass every Sunday, college educated and has custody of his daughter exactly 50/50. The two relationships are not comparable AT ALL and we do not live together.

Did you call the police and file a report? What's the visitation schedule in the court order say? If you are violating the court order for visitation yes he can take you to court for contempt. Perhaps file a modification to the visitation.

 

[BrittanyWade86]

Did you call the police and file a report? What's the visitation schedule in the court order say? If you are violating the court order for visitation yes he can take you to court for contempt. Perhaps file a modification to the visitation.

We just have the standard parent agreement we received from the OAG when we went to mediation for child support. He also does not actually show up for the visits just states I wont let him see them. He did recently show up for one of his weekend visitations in the last year at 5:15 pm and video taped it at the kids daycare even though his pick up time is 6:00 pm.(I had already picked up the kids because like I said he hasn't shown up in a year and he gave me no notice that he would be going.) But he still showed up at the wrong time. Also this is the third woman he has moved in and forced my kids to have sleep overs with in the past 9 months. My concern is my children seeing this inappropriate behavior not who my ex is dating.

 

[Disabled Vet]

It's not your choice.... You need to follow the agreement. Unless you go back to court, explain why you wish for visitation to change. Then the COURT will change the visitation. Give him more visitation. Give him custody of the kids for your failure to follow the visitation guideline. Who knows what will happen since your telling the court " I don't care what you say " .

 

[cbg]

It is not a court suggestion; it is a court order. If you have an order that says the kids visit dad, then the kids visit dad. You do not get to withhold visitation until or unless the court modifies the current order to say that you can. Please note that when YOU go to jail for contempt of court, those kids won't just be visiting dad; they'll be living with dad.

 

[zddoodah]

this is the third woman he has moved in and forced my kids to have sleep overs with

Argumentative much? "Forced to have sleep overs"? It's not as though everyone is sleeping in the same bed or room, right?

My concern is my children seeing this inappropriate behavior

Like what?

As I already explained: You are obligated to comply with the terms of the court's visitation/custody order until and unless the court modifies that order. If you believe the current circumstances warrant a modification, you are free to request that the court do so.

Your abstract concern that your kids might catch dad and his girlfriend having sex isn't going to be enough for a modification. Consult with a local family law attorney.

 

[leslie82]

We just have the standard parent agreement we received from the OAG when we went to mediation for child support. He also does not actually show up for the visits just states I wont let him see them. He did recently show up for one of his weekend visitations in the last year at 5:15 pm and video taped it at the kids daycare even though his pick up time is 6:00 pm.(I had already picked up the kids because like I said he hasn't shown up in a year and he gave me no notice that he would be going.) But he still showed up at the wrong time. Also this is the third woman he has moved in and forced my kids to have sleep overs with in the past 9 months. My concern is my children seeing this inappropriate behavior not who my ex is dating.

Until you modify the parenting plan you have to abide by it. You don't get a choice. Your kids probably see more "inappropriate" behavior at school and online than they would at their dad's.

If he didn't tell you he was coming to get them then that's not your fault. That day. But if he asks you on his time to see them you have to let him.

If his gf is violent and makes threats at you or your kids file a police report.