EX playing keep away with our kids for money

[tylerdurden]

I'm in California

My question is about child custody.
My boys are 11 and 9. we are extremely close, considering I've taken a hand in everything they've ever done. I 've coached their sports, taught them martial arts, music and we do our private 'boys' trips (fishing,videogames comic cons).
Mom cheated and got caught and when we found out she promised 50/50 because the kids and I are so close.
NOW that we are in the system, she has a lawyer and I cant afford one, mediation came and went and the paper work states 'parents will decide days and times of visits between homes' , joint legal / joint physical.
While I was outside of the court her lawyer put paper work in stating I agreed to every other weekend with only 1, 2 hour dinner visit during the week. the same day I told her I do not agree and we need to amend this and work together. She is determined to fight me every step of the way for the boys for some reason. She wont let them come home outside of the times listed when I or the boys ask her, but when she has dates or goes out of town she is more than willing to drop them off with me. Every time this has happened I wrote it down on a calendar. she is using the kids as a means of collecting child support because her job didnt pan out and her new man wont support her..without cs, she cant pay rent.

All I want is equal time. I've told the court that it's not fair on them for me to be alienated out of their lives and the boys becoming bitter and angry because with her she cant relate to them and wont let them so much as call me. I want 50/50 and to have them home just as much as she has them. I live 2 miles from their school and im off work when they get out so I don't understand what I need to tell the court to hear what im saying.
I've put in paper work for another mediation / court hearing for Aug 3. what do i need to be successful? I don't like being apart from them.

 

[army judge]

I'm in California

My question is about child custody.
My boys are 11 and 9. we are extremely close, considering I've taken a hand in everything they've ever done. I 've coached their sports, taught them martial arts, music and we do our private 'boys' trips (fishing,videogames comic cons).
Mom cheated and got caught and when we found out she promised 50/50 because the kids and I are so close.
NOW that we are in the system, she has a lawyer and I cant afford one, mediation came and went and the paper work states 'parents will decide days and times of visits between homes' , joint legal / joint physical.
While I was outside of the court her lawyer put paper work in stating I agreed to every other weekend with only 1, 2 hour dinner visit during the week. the same day I told her I do not agree and we need to amend this and work together. She is determined to fight me every step of the way for the boys for some reason. She wont let them come home outside of the times listed when I or the boys ask her, but when she has dates or goes out of town she is more than willing to drop them off with me. Every time this has happened I wrote it down on a calendar. she is using the kids as a means of collecting child support because her job didnt pan out and her new man wont support her..without cs, she cant pay rent.

All I want is equal time. I've told the court that it's not fair on them for me to be alienated out of their lives and the boys becoming bitter and angry because with her she cant relate to them and wont let them so much as call me. I want 50/50 and to have them home just as much as she has them. I live 2 miles from their school and im off work when they get out so I don't understand what I need to tell the court to hear what im saying.
I've put in paper work for another mediation / court hearing for Aug 3. what do i need to be successful? I don't like being apart from them.

I'll address the least difficult issue first.
Why not supply your sons with cell phones?
That way, they can call you, and you can call them, anytime you wish (if the court hasn't prohibited such contact).
I can tell that this is hurting you and you want dearly to be with them more.

You're losing, because she has a lawyer.
You'll probably keep losing, as long as you don't have a lawyer.

I can tell from the intense emotion in your posts, that you truly love your sons.
I suggest that you retain a lawyer.
Your lawyer will assist you in telling your side of this sad tale.
Your lawyer will see to it that "notes" don't get "slipped" into orders for the court to sign.
Your lawyer will see to it that you get more time with your sons.
Your lawyer will put an end to the abuses you have suffered, and the abuses heaped upon your sons.

She's armed to the teeth.
You're trying to prevail over her with a stick.
Unless you make some changes, she'll keep beating you.
You need your own lawyer.
This board is of little help in a situation as complex as yours.

 

[tylerdurden]

well all i can muster is about 2 grand right now. every lawyer i talk to wants to either have me pay monthly , or come up with 3500.00. i just cant do it with all my wages garnished, and im gettign my ass kicked regularly in court. the emotion is propelling me to keep fighting becuase my kids are in tears when they leave my home, and tell me daily the neglect they face when im not around. like beign left in another city with her new mans family (that they didnt know) while she goes out to eat with him. I will keep fighting and fighting and fighting until they can choose to come home or the courts can hear me

 

[army judge]

Yes, I know at times it seems impossible.

It isn't.

Nothing is impossible if you want it.

You're more than half way there with the money, so just keep saving.

I know there are crooks, not only trying to milk your cow, they want to kill her.

Just hang on, you'll get there.