Ex has the kid living with my family yet collecting child support from me!

[blakef95]

Jurisdiction

Kentucky

Backstory: I am at the complete end of my ropes here. I live in Northern Kentucky for starters. My ex ended up getting pregnant after telling me she was on the birth control pill when she really wasn't, she left me for my good friend and for the entire first year told everyone including him that he was the dad (she was sleeping with us both come to find out) so I had no idea the kid was mine. After that year he ended up leaving her and that's when she decided to come after me saying the kid was mine and wanted child support. I can't count the amount of guys she's been with that she has the child calling dad and supporting her and the kid until they eventually leave her. Well anyway I did end up doing the DNA test and the kid turned out to be mine. That's when she really pushed harder for child support money. The child has been raised by my mom and grandma (they live together) ever since the DNA came back that I was the father. My ex has the kid a few days out of the month and that is literally it and has my mom & grandma watching the kid and fully supporting the kid all month every month besides them few days. A CPS worker is involved and knows the kid has been living with my mom & grandma now full time and being fully supported by them with no help from my ex, not been going to school and a whole listt of things going on. Not a dime of what I pay goes toward my child, my ex blows it on her and her new boyfriend to run around and do drugs and get high. I have sent pics and everything to the CPS worker. It's still an on going case currently. The kid is currently at my moms as we speak like she always is. The child support office took me to court trying to force me to pay $200 which I just this past week got a new job so I couldn't go to that and take the payment they gave me 2 weeks to come up with. Called them the following day and got chewed out for not showing up and being told I'm going to be served with papers to go to court and be charged with a crime because this is a crime! What the heck! Crime??? Isn't the crime my ex collecting this money like she's been knowing the kid lives with my mom all month long every month and fully supported by my mom and not a dime of the child support payments are spent on the kid???!!! Child support office doesn't give a flying flip because my ex has "custody". My ex is using the kid to get free money is what she's doing and it's messed up. I'm over 5 grand behind in back child support. I don't even wanna pay on a kid who lives with my mom. I should be paying my mom not my ex to basically have drug money and money for herself. I don't get it at all. I could be facing jail time over this for struggling to pay due to no job. I just got a new one. I offered to make a payment when I get my first full check of the $200 I couldn't come make on the 5th, they said I could but it's not gonna help me from being served papers being taken to court. What do they want from me???? This is a total nightmare. My ex gets to pawn the kid off to my mom to support full time and be a free baby sitter while she runs around spending MY MONEY on herself and boyfriend. I have thought about filing for emergency custody maybe?? Do I sign my rights over considering I've never met the child anyway who turns 4 this month???? File at the court house to lower monthly and back child support payments since the kid actually lives with my mom???? What can I do???? This is messing up my life and putting a strain on everything in my life and my ex is eating it up. I'm lost. Please what do I do from here??? Child support takes payments out on their own when I do work so its not like I haven't payed nothing, I do what I can. I really do. Its just hard knowing the money isn't even going to the kid. Can my ex get into trouble for this, meaning collecting money when the kid isn't even living with her and being supported fully by my mom? Can I take this to court somehow in my favor? Help?????

 

[Highwayman]

There is no way I'm reading through all that unnecessary detail and ranting. You need to stick to the facts if you want people to read your posts and respond.

 

[blakef95]

There is no way I'm reading through all that unnecessary detail and ranting. You need to stick to the facts if you want people to read your posts and respond.

Do you feel better leaving an unnecessary comment? Lots of people tell the entire story of what's going on. I'm new here and trying to explain everything to help an attorney know the best advice to give. "Facts" you claim doesn't do any justice as to what's going on here. Carry on.

 

[KatDini]

CPS is correct; Mom has custody (even if it is on paper only) and the court order says that the money goes to her. So, regardless of what is happening, Mom is the legal recipient and the legal custodial parent.

Custody will have to be changed by the court before the child support order can be modified by the court,

You need an attorney at this point if you want anything to change.

 

[blakef95]

My ex is trying everything in her power to make my life hard as possible. She's collecting child support from me on my daughter who turns 4 this month (haven't even met yet). My ex has custody but my daughter lives with my mom who fully supports her with zero help from my ex. My ex doesn't use a dime of the child support payments on my child. I'm a little over 5 grand behind in back child support. The child support office is trying to take me to court and charge me for a crime due to struggling to pay. Just recently got a new job and offered to make another payment when I get my first check, they still weren't understanding. My ex has an active CPS worker who knows literally everything that's been happening with my child living with my mom for awhile now. Could that help me any? What are my best options? What should I do to get this taken care of? I shouldn't be paying her when she's not spending it on my child and my mom is fully supporting the child instead. I'm not trying to go to jail over this when I'm trying my best, when i was working payments were automatically being taken out. Need advice.

 

[Highwayman]

Lots of people tell the entire story of what's going on.

You didn't tell a story - you added much unnecessary nonsense and emtional commentary which served no purpose and made your "story" much more difficult to read. Your post was probably at least 3 times longer than necessary.

...trying to explain everything to help an attorney know the best advice to give.

If you want an attorney to review your case then you need to have a consultation with one or retain one. This is not the place to get an attorney - and that's what you need. This is not a do-it-yourself matter.

 

[blakef95]

Thank you for being nice with your advice. I did make a shorter post since someone complained it was too long.

 

[blakef95]

You didn't tell a story - you added much unnecessary nonsense and emtional commentary which served no purpose and made your "story" much more difficult to read. Your post was probably at least 3 times longer than necessary.



If you want an attorney to review your case then you need to have a consultation with one or retain one. This is not the place to get an attorney - and that's what you need. This is not a do-it-yourself matter.

Well I apologize then. I have NEVER done this before. Didn't wanna not give enough descriptive info and not get the best advice but looks like I went overboard. I redid my post and tried to stick to the basic facts of what's going on here. So you recommend I find an attorney? This can't be taken care of with anything I can do?

 

[blakef95]

You didn't tell a story - you added much unnecessary nonsense and emtional commentary which served no purpose and made your "story" much more difficult to read. Your post was probably at least 3 times longer than necessary.



If you want an attorney to review your case then you need to have a consultation with one or retain one. This is not the place to get an attorney - and that's what you need. This is not a do-it-yourself matter.

I thought actual attorneys gave advice on here. I must of misunderstood.

 

[mightymoose]

You might see about a modification to the order that allows you to pay the grandparent directly or through child services so that it is monitored.
Either way you will still be paying. If circumstances have changed then the court might modify the amount you have to pay.
Your answer to your problems is at the court.

 

[leslie82]

My ex is trying everything in her power to make my life hard as possible. She's collecting child support from me on my daughter who turns 4 this month (haven't even met yet). My ex has custody but my daughter lives with my mom who fully supports her with zero help from my ex. My ex doesn't use a dime of the child support payments on my child. I'm a little over 5 grand behind in back child support. The child support office is trying to take me to court and charge me for a crime due to struggling to pay. Just recently got a new job and offered to make another payment when I get my first check, they still weren't understanding. My ex has an active CPS worker who knows literally everything that's been happening with my child living with my mom for awhile now. Could that help me any? What are my best options? What should I do to get this taken care of? I shouldn't be paying her when she's not spending it on my child and my mom is fully supporting the child instead. I'm not trying to go to jail over this when I'm trying my best, when i was working payments were automatically being taken out. Need advice.

Until you modify the child support order your ex will get child support. It's that simple. Also child support doesn't have to go directly to the child.

Well if you're in arrears you did commit a crime. You violated a court order.

What's an active CPS worker?

Here's what you do: File to modify the child support order. But anything you owe in arrears before the modification you still have to pay.

 

[leslie82]

Backstory: I am at the complete end of my ropes here. I live in Northern Kentucky for starters. My ex ended up getting pregnant after telling me she was on the birth control pill when she really wasn't, she left me for my good friend and for the entire first year told everyone including him that he was the dad (she was sleeping with us both come to find out) so I had no idea the kid was mine. After that year he ended up leaving her and that's when she decided to come after me saying the kid was mine and wanted child support. I can't count the amount of guys she's been with that she has the child calling dad and supporting her and the kid until they eventually leave her. Well anyway I did end up doing the DNA test and the kid turned out to be mine. That's when she really pushed harder for child support money. The child has been raised by my mom and grandma (they live together) ever since the DNA came back that I was the father. My ex has the kid a few days out of the month and that is literally it and has my mom & grandma watching the kid and fully supporting the kid all month every month besides them few days. A CPS worker is involved and knows the kid has been living with my mom & grandma now full time and being fully supported by them with no help from my ex, not been going to school and a whole listt of things going on. Not a dime of what I pay goes toward my child, my ex blows it on her and her new boyfriend to run around and do drugs and get high. I have sent pics and everything to the CPS worker. It's still an on going case currently. The kid is currently at my moms as we speak like she always is. The child support office took me to court trying to force me to pay $200 which I just this past week got a new job so I couldn't go to that and take the payment they gave me 2 weeks to come up with. Called them the following day and got chewed out for not showing up and being told I'm going to be served with papers to go to court and be charged with a crime because this is a crime! What the heck! Crime??? Isn't the crime my ex collecting this money like she's been knowing the kid lives with my mom all month long every month and fully supported by my mom and not a dime of the child support payments are spent on the kid???!!! Child support office doesn't give a flying flip because my ex has "custody". My ex is using the kid to get free money is what she's doing and it's messed up. I'm over 5 grand behind in back child support. I don't even wanna pay on a kid who lives with my mom. I should be paying my mom not my ex to basically have drug money and money for herself. I don't get it at all. I could be facing jail time over this for struggling to pay due to no job. I just got a new one. I offered to make a payment when I get my first full check of the $200 I couldn't come make on the 5th, they said I could but it's not gonna help me from being served papers being taken to court. What do they want from me???? This is a total nightmare. My ex gets to pawn the kid off to my mom to support full time and be a free baby sitter while she runs around spending MY MONEY on herself and boyfriend. I have thought about filing for emergency custody maybe?? Do I sign my rights over considering I've never met the child anyway who turns 4 this month???? File at the court house to lower monthly and back child support payments since the kid actually lives with my mom???? What can I do???? This is messing up my life and putting a strain on everything in my life and my ex is eating it up. I'm lost. Please what do I do from here??? Child support takes payments out on their own when I do work so its not like I haven't payed nothing, I do what I can. I really do. Its just hard knowing the money isn't even going to the kid. Can my ex get into trouble for this, meaning collecting money when the kid isn't even living with her and being supported fully by my mom? Can I take this to court somehow in my favor? Help?????

Why did you post the same question basically twice? Go modify the support order. That's all you can do - and you still owe the arrears before any modification goes into effect.

 

[leslie82]

I thought actual attorneys gave advice on here. I must of misunderstood.

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[blakef95]

Legal Disclaimer: The content appearing on our website is for general information purposes only. When you submit a question or make a comment on our site or in our law forum, you clearly imply that you are interested in receiving answers, opinions and responses from other people. The people providing legal help and who respond are volunteers who may not be lawyers, legal professionals or have any legal training or experience. The law is also subject to change from time to time and legal statutes and regulations vary between states. It is possible that the law may not apply to you and may have changed from the time a post was made. All information available on our site is available on an "AS-IS" basis. It is not a substitute for professional legal assistance. Before making any decision or accepting any legal advice, you should have a proper legal consultation with a licensed attorney with whom you have an attorney-client privilege. For purposes of New York and New Jersey State ethics rules, please take notice that this website and its case reviews may constitute attorney advertising.

Thank you for the info. Makes sense now.

 

[blakef95]

Why did you post the same question basically twice? Go modify the support order. That's all you can do - and you still owe the arrears before any modification goes into effect.

What do you mean why did I post the same question twice? And if your referring to my other post it's because someone jumped all over me for my post being too long and unnecessary and would need to make it shorter if I wanted feedback so I went and explained it over but in a shorter form.

.

Until you modify the child support order your ex will get child support. It's that simple. Also child support doesn't have to go directly to the child.

Well if you're in arrears you did commit a crime. You violated a court order.

What's an active CPS worker?

Here's what you do: File to modify the child support order. But anything you owe in arrears before the modification you still have to pay.

Actually no I did not. It's backed dated to where she first filed and it was put on hold for a bit because of something on her end and when she went to a new county it was up to 5 grand even with me paying. And what does the money go toward then in your opinion? Huh? Because the monthly payments I'm paying is not going toward nothing dealing with my child. My child lives at my moms who's supporting her fully and my ex doesn't help her out with anything. My ex is on drugs and posts pics on Facebook high all the time with her boyfriend so makes me think that's where my payments are going since my child sees none of it. No bills, no rent, nothing either I'll add. And CPS is a child protective worker who is after her for neglecting my child and her other one!!!

 

[leslie82]

What do you mean why did I post the same question twice? And if your referring to my other post it's because someone jumped all over me for my post being too long and unnecessary and would need to make it shorter if I wanted feedback so I went and explained it over but in a shorter form.

.




Actually no I did not. It's backed dated to where she first filed and it was put on hold for a bit because of something on her end and when she went to a new county it was up to 5 grand even with me paying. And what does the money go toward then in your opinion? Huh? Because the monthly payments I'm paying is not going toward nothing dealing with my child. My child lives at my moms who's supporting her fully and my ex doesn't help her out with anything. My ex is on drugs and posts pics on Facebook high all the time with her boyfriend so makes me think that's where my payments are going since my child sees none of it. No bills, no rent, nothing either I'll add. And CPS is a child protective worker who is after her for neglecting my child and her other one!!!

"There is a growing misconception among some that child support should only cover a child's bare necessities, such as food and clothing. In truth, child support is meant to cover a broad range of expenses, which may include school fees, entertainment, medical, and extracurricular activities, among other things."

What Does Child Support Cover? - FindLaw

That is generally what child support covers or is intended to cover. It's your share as if you were still in the home based on income of the parents. That's why my ex husband only has to pay $86 a month. He doesn't even do that - and when we did it he had no job so my lawyer figured out a min wage 40 hour work week. That's apparently all someone with a min wage 40 hour work week has to pay for one kid...

Can you prove she's buying drugs? Can you prove anything with those pictures? Probably not. She doesn't have to prove where it goes. If she has an investigation with CPS then let them handle it.

Also you didn't need to make two posts - you could have edited your original post. No one "jumped" all over you. Chill.

Also yes as long as you owe arrears you will pay them even if you get child support stopped. You owe whatever you owe before a modification.

 

[blakef95]

"There is a growing misconception among some that child support should only cover a child's bare necessities, such as food and clothing. In truth, child support is meant to cover a broad range of expenses, which may include school fees, entertainment, medical, and extracurricular activities, among other things."

What Does Child Support Cover? - FindLaw

That is generally what child support covers or is intended to cover. It's your share as if you were still in the home based on income of the parents. That's why my ex husband only has to pay $86 a month. He doesn't even do that - and when we did it he had no job so my lawyer figured out a min wage 40 hour work week. That's apparently all someone with a min wage 40 hour work week has to pay for one kid...

Can you prove she's buying drugs? Can you prove anything with those pictures? Probably not. She doesn't have to prove where it goes. If she has an investigation with CPS then let them handle it.

Also you didn't need to make two posts - you could have edited your original post. No one "jumped" all over you. Chill.

Also yes as long as you owe arrears you will pay them even if you get child support stopped. You owe whatever you owe before a modification.

Actually yes I can prove it. I have proof so your wrong. That's why CPS is involved. And yes I was jumped on because my post was too long and unnecessary according to dude so no you chill. And I know damn well it's not going toward my child because she lives with my mom and my mom gets no help from my child's egg donor. And I'm not stupid. I know I haft to pay back child support she racked up before I was served anything, she got it put on hold on purpose to rack up. I am paying and supporting my child and my back child support unlike her. Lastly I made a second post because of what the first person said about it being too long and not getting no responses. I am completely new here and know nothing about editing a post. Also why is it such a big deal to you anyway?

 

[blakef95]

"There is a growing misconception among some that child support should only cover a child's bare necessities, such as food and clothing. In truth, child support is meant to cover a broad range of expenses, which may include school fees, entertainment, medical, and extracurricular activities, among other things."

What Does Child Support Cover? - FindLaw

That is generally what child support covers or is intended to cover. It's your share as if you were still in the home based on income of the parents. That's why my ex husband only has to pay $86 a month. He doesn't even do that - and when we did it he had no job so my lawyer figured out a min wage 40 hour work week. That's apparently all someone with a min wage 40 hour work week has to pay for one kid...

Can you prove she's buying drugs? Can you prove anything with those pictures? Probably not. She doesn't have to prove where it goes. If she has an investigation with CPS then let them handle it.

Also you didn't need to make two posts - you could have edited your original post. No one "jumped" all over you. Chill.

Also yes as long as you owe arrears you will pay them even if you get child support stopped. You owe whatever you owe before a modification.

Also why the hell do you keep coming back literally commenting on my post several times saying the same crap??? You were rude the other day and already said this. Are yoi bored or something? Gotta troll this site?? How can I block you? Annoying.

 

[leslie82]

Also why the hell do you keep coming back literally commenting on my post several times saying the same crap??? You were rude the other day and already said this. Are yoi bored or something? Gotta troll this site?? How can I block you? Annoying.

I'm not trolling. You asked what it should be spent on. I showed you. I'm sorry that you have such a horrible anger control problem. Perhaps you should check into that.

 

[leslie82]

Actually yes I can prove it. I have proof so your wrong. That's why CPS is involved. And yes I was jumped on because my post was too long and unnecessary according to dude so no you chill. And I know damn well it's not going toward my child because she lives with my mom and my mom gets no help from my child's egg donor. And I'm not stupid. I know I haft to pay back child support she racked up before I was served anything, she got it put on hold on purpose to rack up. I am paying and supporting my child and my back child support unlike her. Lastly I made a second post because of what the first person said about it being too long and not getting no responses. I am completely new here and know nothing about editing a post. Also why is it such a big deal to you anyway?

Why are you so angry? Get some help "dude." Also you realize there is an edit button right? You could have easily just hit "edit" and changed it. It's not a big deal - as you see it's been days since I've been on here. I don't just sit on these pages all day every day. You get what you get on public forums "dude." Realize that.