StephanieM
New Member
Hi,
I'm an independent Domme, never trained only utilizing my own smarts and a small paddle to do sessions for masochists.
I went to a dungeon recently in hopes of being hired. At a previous dungeon, the woman was very nice and helped show me the ropes of using certain equipment properly.
At this dungeon however, the owner said I had to be "tested" to be sure I was a "real" Domme (silly - anyone doing Domme is a Domme, the way a janitor is a janitor while doing janitorial work. When I am not doing Domme, I am in school, starting a non-profit and just bought a small business).
Immediately I felt on the spot, as if I was supposed to prove I was something based entirely on their ethereal judgment or discrimination of me, or I wouldn't be hired.
They told me I would be doing a "test" session. The test was not laid out clearly but they called a subjugate girl in, I assumed this was who I was to do the test on so I started interviewing her to see what she enjoyed in her sessions. They stopped me, said I was to just "show them" what I do, and not with the sub girl, but with another woman in the room. She asked for trampling so I asked her to lay on the floor (I was going to trample around her body, as this practice of the test was now confusing me, seemed highly unusual, and I did not want to step on the woman's body, plus the specifics of what the test was or what I was supposed to do were not laid out for me, only that I was being tested to see if I was "real"
She did not obey my command, so to show them what I do in my independant sessions, I walked up to her, put my hand on her throat gently, and said firmly, lay down (it was 100% non violent). This woman (who claims to be a "real" domme) didn't like being in the "sub" position so she sprang up, threw me against a mirror, and clamped a hand on my throat, screaming at me to never do that to her. I asked her to take her hand off my throat and she refused. A physical scuffle ensued as I shoved her off me and she tried to stay on me, saying "I'm not scared of you!"
The owner sat in a chair this whole time, watching this happen, and never once told his employee to not attack me.
Then, as I told them this was ridiculous, and a verbal fight ensued over them telling me that I am not "real" and they are "real." I realized I had lost my self control and cool after being attacked and walked out.
I know this sounds silly to some, but this dungeon is still a business run by a business owner. I do not know if these hiring tactics are legal or not, but they didn't feel so. they felt designed for intimidation, degradation, and discrimination based on some idea of what is "real" or not "real" - which is an illusory concept.
I say this because there is no way someone can say I am an "unreal" domme when this has been my profession for years now. And how can the other woman there be considered any more real than I, if we both do sessions - she with specialized equipment, I with clothespins and a paddle?
BEFORE the interview, I had a phone interview in which I specifically told the shop owner that I was a working Domme but that I was NOT trained in specialized equipment. I let him know someone would have to show me the ropes.
Is what happened, a legal hiring practice?
If I had simply been told "we are not hiring unless you are trained with equipment" I would have felt FINE. I could have then asked how to get trained.
Instead, I was put through some kind of trial, when I had SPECIFICALLY stated that I needed training in the special equipment.
Please let me know if this is an illegal hiring practice, or if the attack made on me is illegal, and what to do about it.
I'm an independent Domme, never trained only utilizing my own smarts and a small paddle to do sessions for masochists.
I went to a dungeon recently in hopes of being hired. At a previous dungeon, the woman was very nice and helped show me the ropes of using certain equipment properly.
At this dungeon however, the owner said I had to be "tested" to be sure I was a "real" Domme (silly - anyone doing Domme is a Domme, the way a janitor is a janitor while doing janitorial work. When I am not doing Domme, I am in school, starting a non-profit and just bought a small business).
Immediately I felt on the spot, as if I was supposed to prove I was something based entirely on their ethereal judgment or discrimination of me, or I wouldn't be hired.
They told me I would be doing a "test" session. The test was not laid out clearly but they called a subjugate girl in, I assumed this was who I was to do the test on so I started interviewing her to see what she enjoyed in her sessions. They stopped me, said I was to just "show them" what I do, and not with the sub girl, but with another woman in the room. She asked for trampling so I asked her to lay on the floor (I was going to trample around her body, as this practice of the test was now confusing me, seemed highly unusual, and I did not want to step on the woman's body, plus the specifics of what the test was or what I was supposed to do were not laid out for me, only that I was being tested to see if I was "real"
She did not obey my command, so to show them what I do in my independant sessions, I walked up to her, put my hand on her throat gently, and said firmly, lay down (it was 100% non violent). This woman (who claims to be a "real" domme) didn't like being in the "sub" position so she sprang up, threw me against a mirror, and clamped a hand on my throat, screaming at me to never do that to her. I asked her to take her hand off my throat and she refused. A physical scuffle ensued as I shoved her off me and she tried to stay on me, saying "I'm not scared of you!"
The owner sat in a chair this whole time, watching this happen, and never once told his employee to not attack me.
Then, as I told them this was ridiculous, and a verbal fight ensued over them telling me that I am not "real" and they are "real." I realized I had lost my self control and cool after being attacked and walked out.
I know this sounds silly to some, but this dungeon is still a business run by a business owner. I do not know if these hiring tactics are legal or not, but they didn't feel so. they felt designed for intimidation, degradation, and discrimination based on some idea of what is "real" or not "real" - which is an illusory concept.
I say this because there is no way someone can say I am an "unreal" domme when this has been my profession for years now. And how can the other woman there be considered any more real than I, if we both do sessions - she with specialized equipment, I with clothespins and a paddle?
BEFORE the interview, I had a phone interview in which I specifically told the shop owner that I was a working Domme but that I was NOT trained in specialized equipment. I let him know someone would have to show me the ropes.
Is what happened, a legal hiring practice?
If I had simply been told "we are not hiring unless you are trained with equipment" I would have felt FINE. I could have then asked how to get trained.
Instead, I was put through some kind of trial, when I had SPECIFICALLY stated that I needed training in the special equipment.
Please let me know if this is an illegal hiring practice, or if the attack made on me is illegal, and what to do about it.
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