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Divorce and the new boyfriend

Discussion in 'Divorce Mediation' started by Jgrissom., Apr 13, 2016.

  1. Jgrissom.

    Jgrissom. Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Ok, I'll try to keep this simple. My wife and I have been married for 13 years. We have two girls together. It has been a Rollor coaster marriage. We have both had affairs, one of mine ended with my wife contracting a curable STD. This happend 2 years ago. We separated in November of 2015. Roughly 5 months ago. We both started dating shortly after the separation. We were sharing split custody during the first couple of months, before things started getting bad between us. I have dated a couple women since we separated. I did introduce my kids to one of them as my friend. We maintained our distance. No holding hands or any of that. I have full custody of my 16 yo daughter. I tried to help her mom out for a little while, and let her stay with me. We did end up being intimate a couple of times. But she stayed away from me when my little girls were around because I didn't want them to be confused. She only stayed with me for about 4 weeks till I kicked her out. Because I didn't want her around my 16 yo. That's a long story. But she is gone.

    My wife, soon to be ex. Started dating this guy about 3 weeks after we split up. A couple weeks later I had finally found out his last name. When I googled his name I found him in channel 5 news being accused of being a scam artist in the DFW area. I immediately demanded that my wife not let him around my kids. She agreed at first. But a week later he was back. To sum up the past few months. She has moved him in her apartment. He apparently gets mad when I call to talk to the kids. He gets her phone and blocks my number. He text me a pic of them kissing. He has tried to get me to meet him to fight. I filed divorce papers and my attorney out in the papers for a permanent injunction that he not be allowed around the kids. Then the guy sends me a audio recording of them having sex. Telling me "that's how to do it". My ex keeps telling me she's sorry but she can't control him. She says they are breaking up. But then they are always back together. Now the latest. My ex told me over the phone because she won't text me because then I would have proof. She told me she has to keep him around because she can't afford it on her own. They bought furniture together. And he's helping pay for the lawyer.

    About a month ago I was so upset over all this with him. I took a 8 month transfer to houston. I felt as if I was having a nervous breakdown. She's trying to say I abandoned the kids. I can't keep paying my lawyer for this. It is unfair. But if I give in. This guy will be around forever. What is a guy supposed to do. And if I do continue to fight. Will the judge even do anything about this guy. Or is my wife right, that I can't keep him away from the kids.
     
  2. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    Your best advice comes from your attorney.
    Your attorney knows much more about your legal issues than strangers could ever know.

    What price do you put on the safety of your children?

    Your soon to be former wife is an adult, plus as you've revealed, you both have negative histories with each other.

    Forget her, mate, do whatever it takes to keep those babies safe.

    If I had to spend every dollar I earned, plus borrow from relatives to keep my children safe, I would never hesitate it or regret it.
     
  3. ElleMD

    ElleMD Well-Known Member

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    So your response to not wanting this guy around your kids was to disappear for 8 months, leaving the kids with this joker? That does not make a great case for keeping him away from the kids. You can try to negotiate no overnight guests as part of the custody agreement but you are going to find difficulty arguing this one shouldn't be around them since you in effect let that happen for 8 months. You really need to talk to your lawyer.
     
  4. Jgrissom.

    Jgrissom. Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I have only been away for a month and a half. The reason I left is because my ex had broken up with him at one point. She Thad text me telling me he blamed me for whatever. But she told me he was dangerous. And that he knew a lot of shady people. And that he had found out my address. This guy is a former army ranger and has a Purple Heart, supposedly if that's not part of the scam. Because of the threats I was so paronoid I slept with my gun at night. I didn't know what to do. I regret moving now. I know how it looks. But in the moment. It seemed like a mental break I needed. I was hoping their relationship would just play itself out. But that hasn't happened. I think it backfired on me.
     

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