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Dissolution of adoption

Discussion in 'Adoption' started by boomology, Feb 28, 2015.

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  1. boomology

    boomology Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Tricky question. I adopted my step son in Delaware. We then moved to Florida. I am currently involved in a divorce. Ultimately, I would like to dissolve adoption, and he can remain in her custody 100% (per his wishes, as hes 12) and I won't be legally responsible for anything he does. I wish to dissolve it, but if that is not allowed, I wish to figure out how to become not legally responsible for truancy/actions that could have me named in lawsuit as he is not in my custody and does not wish for me to be involved in his life. Which state do I need to pursue this in, and do I need legal counsel to proceed with this?
     
  2. KatDini

    KatDini Well-Known Member

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    You cannot do what you want to do. You signed the paperwork to be Dad, and it's as if he had been born to you and your wife.
     
  3. Proserpina

    Proserpina Moderator

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    This is not a tricky question, nor is it a tricky answer.

    You have a child. You have an obligation to support that child. You don't get a Mulligan. Pay the child support.

    I have to ask - what on earth makes you think this is even possible?
     
  4. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    A divorce, will in some ways, rid you of her.
    However, once you adopted HER kid, he became YOUR kid.
    The real dad, well, he's laughing now; because you're STUCK paying child support for the kid that was once his kid.
    I suggest you discuss this messy milieu with your divorce lawyer.
    Good luck, pops!
     
  5. shrinkmaster

    shrinkmaster Well-Known Member

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    You cannot just discard a child just because you and Mom dont get along anymore. Have you no feelings for child? You adopted child he is now YOUR child!! You cannot disolve an adoption.
     
  6. Michael Wechsler

    Michael Wechsler Administrator Staff Member

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    There is one thing I notice omitted -- child support. Is this what you hope to avoid, having her take custody of the child and not having to pay the support associated with the child? A court of law will follow what is in the "best interests of the child." The needs of the child are weighed and a court holds both parents liable for the costs of welfare and care of the dependent minor child. Unless your ex is fabulously wealthy and willing to stipulate something to the satisfaction of a family court, I highly doubt your obligation to pay child support will be extinguished because you'd rather not have a child. As someone said above, once you adopt it is as if the child was your own birth child. These are serious questions to answer before you sign the paperwork. Perhaps some family law attorney may find an exception but I'd find it highly improbable. Good luck with your separation.
     
  7. boomology

    boomology Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Thanks. She pays me support regardless. I was stay at home dad for our 4 kids. 3 ours and my stepson I adopted. He is abusive towards me and lies to try to keep me from seeing the other 3. He's already lied and caused me to lose time with them. Basically, to all you bashers, my ex was abusive and I filed for divorce. What happened after that is she forced me out of my home, and cancelled all cards and bank stuff. I was left high and dry with the closest family members in Delaware. When the situation that forced me out of the house happened, my step son lied and that's how i was forced out. I had to gain a residence to have my kids. this took forever. she kept them from me, and is now using them as bargaining chips in the divorce. they are just commodities to her. Don't bash me, I don't want to be sued if he gets in fights at school or is truant. I'm trying to keep it civil. you don't know the full situation. i'd have him deducted from the child support she pays me to not be legally responsible.
     
  8. boomology

    boomology Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I have feelings. you don't know the full scope of the inquiry. I kept it to legal because this is a law forum. Not a don't answer my question because my abusive ex has her son lie and keep me from our other 3 kids. I don't care about the support. She pays me. It's the legal responsibility from him missing school and getting into fights.
     
  9. boomology

    boomology Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I have to answer. She pays support to me for him. I'm not asking for a mulligan. I'm simply trying to not be legally responsible for when he injures someone or the police come to throw me in jail for him being late/not going to school. He chooses to not be in my custody, not by my choice. I never said I didn't want him to be my child, I just don't want to get sued or go to jail for his actions, which already prove to have merit. That's why support doesn't matter, and that's why I never asked for a mulligan. I've tried everything I can, or possibly could do. That's why I left personal out and just wanted an answer to the question.
     
  10. shrinkmaster

    shrinkmaster Well-Known Member

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    If you have feelings why give up? Why not work towards resolving the issues with counseling or the like?
     
  11. Michael Wechsler

    Michael Wechsler Administrator Staff Member

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    From the way boomology speaks, I'm guessing he may have tried every resolve and they are at that point where it's over. Now it's at the point of how to separate their lives and move on. Very tough place to be.
     

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