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Defamation from Facebook Group

Discussion in 'Defamation, Libel & Slander' started by pingirons, Nov 19, 2022.

  1. pingirons

    pingirons Law Topic Starter New Member

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    There is this "private" Facebook group called "are we dating the same guy?" The purpose of the group is to protect prospective dating women from dating potentially dangerous men. Typically abusive, toxic or men that have a habit of not being nice to women.

    A woman of my past reach out to me several months ago and was down on her luck. I was always supportive of her and wanted to help any way I could. She was going through some things with the father of her child and was very "depressed." I asked her if she wanted to grab a drink sometime to talk and vent. She knew I had a fiance and was happy with her. I had no intent of being anything more than a friend and someone to reach out to. She mentioned if my fiance would know and I told her yes, she would know and not mind. My fiance trusts me and knows I will not do anything to jeopardize our relationship.

    Fast forward to a week ago, she post on this "group" about me and how I have asked her for drinks and that my fiance wouldn't care or anything. She warned everyone to "beware" and run. Several women from my past who are members of this group decide to chime in. Most of them are women that I have not talked to or interacted with in several years. At least before the time I have been with my fiance. Most of the women are telling very elaborate stories and every detail of my life and my interactions with them. Very few facts are true and very outlandish. Some women who I went to school with or worked with are stating about how I am "creepy" or I have "harassed" them. These are women I have never interacted with or spoken to at all.

    One of these women who is very ambitious decides to research who my fiance is. Find out where she works. Call her and imitates a "customer" and gives her all the facts and informs her about this group and she needs to see everything.

    My finace knows me very well and is understanding that a majority of this stuff is false and all in the past regardless. But what she is distressed about is knowing there is a public forum speaking about her and I. Along with having the ability to find out how to contact her and where she works.

    My biggest fear is I work in luxury automotive sales. I fear that a past or potential client could be part of this group of this group and recognize who I am. I also do not want the "industry" to see how these false accounts portray me. I have been curious if this is something I can bring attention of an attorney and have a legitimate case. If the least have my name removed from this page and make sure these women cannot contact me or my family anymore.
     
  2. adjusterjack

    adjusterjack Super Moderator

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    You can certainly bring this to the attention of an attorney. Just pick one and write him a check. You know the identity of these women. Have him write a cease and desist letter.

    He'd be the one to tell you if you have a case for defamation.

    If the future, when women become your past, let them stay there.
     
    Last edited: Nov 19, 2022
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  3. Red Kayak

    Red Kayak Well-Known Member

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    This is a violation of that FB group's policies.

    Reach out to the group's admin.
     
  4. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    If you desire to lead a peaceful, drama free life, don't post on social media.
     
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  5. Red Kayak

    Red Kayak Well-Known Member

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    But his issue is women he's dated posting on social media.

    He can only control what he chooses to post on social media.

    This dude apparently has multiple women who have met online and reminisced about him. I don't think that has happened to any creep I've been involved with. Ditto for any of the creeps my friends have been involved with - and some of those dudes were really outrageous creeps.

    So, my advice for OP going forward is to be a nice person. And be true to his future wife, eschewing unchaperoned contact with any potentially crazy drama llama women.
     
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  6. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    People who behave erratically, deviously, carelessly rarely seek to improve themselves or their behavior.

    Most of the above described types self destruct eventually.

    Dating is one thing I'd never attempt, should my beloved spouse predecease me.

    If the risk exceeds the reward, I will always choose to avoid the risk.
     
  7. zddoodah

    zddoodah Well-Known Member

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    When you say "my fiance" (as opposed to "her fiance" or "my fiancee"), does that mean you are engaged to another man? If not, what does that mean? In case you don't understand why I'm asking this, a fiancé is a man you intend to marry, while a fiancée is a woman you intend to marry. Also, it's true that you asked her for drinks, right?

    You realize this says volumes about you and the sort of women you pursue, right?

    Maybe. One would have to know exactly what is being said. Defamation is the publication of false statements of fact (not opinion) that are harmful to the subject's reputation and, in most cases, which cause actual monetary damages. At this point, it doesn't sound like you've suffered any damages and that your best course of action would be to say completely clear of these women and consider why they all seem to have a negative view of you.

    Contact Facebook.

    You could, in theory, seek a restraining order. However, since none of these women have recently contacted you or any family member, there is no basis for such an order.

    Link to parallel thread at another site.
     
    Last edited: Nov 21, 2022
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