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Custudy help

Discussion in 'Child Custody & Visitation' started by Sonya625, Aug 15, 2018.

  1. Sonya625

    Sonya625 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Jurisdiction:
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    So me and my ex husband went to court today.. And the judge ruled that nether of us have custudy of her.. But given to the grandma who was recently arrested for domestic violence.. We where both put on child support.. And I believe I'm more fit to have her.. The only thing against me was previous cps cases due to him calling them on me(I even have proof he and his mother did call cps ). Also the fact that I live with my boyfriend and its apt.. So the lawyer said its not my own place and she needs her own room. We where both put on child support and only get one weekend a month with her for us both. He lives with his grandma so he would be with her 247. Is there anyway I change this? Some people have told me I can appeal this.. How long Will the appeal take?
     
  2. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    If you wish to change the ruling you'll have to hire a lawyer.

    It's very unlikely you'd prevail, but without a lawyer it would be even less unlikely.
     
    leslie82 likes this.
  3. Sonya625

    Sonya625 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I did have a lawyer.. And so did he
     
  4. shrinkmaster

    shrinkmaster Well-Known Member

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    Then that Lawyer is where your answers are
     
  5. Sonya625

    Sonya625 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    He says I cant do anything right now.. I have to wait a whole yr
     
  6. shrinkmaster

    shrinkmaster Well-Known Member

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    Then that is your answer. You could consult other Attorneys but your own Lawyer says you have to wait why would a website of random volunteers know better?
     
  7. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    He gave you the correct answer, you must wait a year to appeal the type of adverse ruling you received.

    You should use that year to take parenting classes, drug rehabilitation classes (if indicated), domestic violence classes (if indicated), self development classes (if indicated), obtain or maintain FULL TIME employment, take community college classes, use the year NOT just to wait; use the year to become a better person and parent.

    You should also open a savings account for your children and regularly deposit money (even if it is just $1.00 a week),

    You should attend your supervised visits each week and AVOID missing any visit unless you are ILL or working overtime.

    Contact state child services to assist you with what you must do to be in the running to obtain your parental rights.

    One final thought for you to consider.

    If you were beaten and battered by the male, you might wish to consider divorce.

    If I had ever been forced to choose my children over my wife, it would have been a NO brainer for me.

    She would have to go, divorce would be in my future, but so would my children.

    Fortunately for us, that never occurred, but if it had I knew what I'd do; and so did she!
     
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  8. leslie82

    leslie82 Well-Known Member

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    She did divorce her husband - she said ex husband. Now she has a boyfriend.
     
  9. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    Same advice, except the "friend" likely won't help her achieve that which she claims she seeks.

    In fact, the friend could be detrimental to her chances in the near term, maybe the long term.
     
  10. leslie82

    leslie82 Well-Known Member

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    It seems odd her kid has to have her own room. I didn't think they usually demanded that in custody cases. What if she finds a one bedroom apartment and that's all she can afford on her own?

    I mean if she has to find her own place, she does.

    I don't have to worry about any of that. I have no intentions of really ever dating until my daughter is out of my house and an adult. I don't have time for it - I don't know how any single parents do. It just seems exhausting when I think about it. Even a booty call sounds exhausting.
     
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  11. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    Maybe big trouble down the road with disease, stalkers, cheaters, thefts, or even life threatening violence.

    If my wife predeceases me, you betcha I'll live out my last days in peaceful solitude.
     
  12. cynthiag

    cynthiag Active Member

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    I agree with you there! My ex and I divorced when my kids were one and four years old. During the next 19 years, I raised my kids and established my career. I went on very casual dates with a couple of different guys, but I'd had so much relationship drama with my ex-husband I just felt that it would be totally mentally exhausting to try to do justice to kids, career, and a new relationship.

    I met my current husband when my youngest kid was 20 years old. I'm not sure it would have worked out if I'd met him when the kids were growing up and I was getting my career going, but by the time we met I had the time and energy to devote to a new romance. I knew myself much better, who I was and what I wanted from life. I knew when we started that I was getting together with him because I wanted him in my life, not because I felt like I needed someone to take care of me, which unfortunately is the mindset of a lot of women I know (particularly in my generation).
     
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  13. txls

    txls Well-Known Member

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    I love peaceful solitude.
     
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  14. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    Nothing beats it, nothing.
     
  15. leslie82

    leslie82 Well-Known Member

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    I just don't get how these men and women are dating who are single parents and have their kids.

    I don't let anyone in my life unless I want them. I don't need anyone. I definitely didn't need my ex husband - I needed him as much as I needed a hole in my head.

    I know my ex MIL is one of those women who "needs" a man in her life. Well someone. Her current husband is a man child. I told her not to marry him - she was having a mid life crisis basically. She had my ex at 18 - her and his dad got married right away. He joined the AF, they had his brother and twin sisters. I'm pretty sure his dad cheated on her but she didn't until all the kids were out. She was seeing her current husband before she filed for divorce from his dad. But his dad was a lot more decent guy...they just should never have been married. I told her dont' marry this other guy...and she did. And all they have done for years now is fight and fight. She says he's put hands on her. She stays and she stays because two years ago she started school (she wants to be a counselor - she's not suited for it). She even worked in a domestic violence shelter. She stays because she knows she can't afford to live on her own and has admitted to me she doesn't know how to be alone. She went from her parents to her first husband to this one.

    Then one of his sisters - she has four kids with her baby daddy who was an abusive POS who went to prison for sexual assault of a minor. So he was there for six years and he's been in sex offender rehab for the last several years. Then five years ago she met the guy she' smarried to...she let him start spending the night within a week of meeting him. He's 8 years older than her. Not from the area we all lived in. Within a month she was engaged to him - and she has FOUR little girls. (Not so little anymore). She told me when we still were friends "oh we're gonna wait two years." No her sister told me he pressured her to get married sooner and within less than a year married. That was 2014 not long before my daughter was born. Within less than a year her daughters are calling this guy "dad." She only knew him and they only knew him for not even two years at that point!

    He's been a drug addict. He's an alcoholic. He gives me a creeper vibe. I hope he has never touched those girls...but if I ever find out he better hope the cops get him first. THey are like nieces to me and were my nieces - and one is my goddaughter. I hate her baby daddy but I'd honestly love to see him beat the shit out of her husband. But her sister told me that she agreed with me that she got tired of being alone and she settled. She dated other guys who were way better than him.

    I don't even trust my ex husband alone with our daughter I can't trust some guy I barely know around her. That's why I'll just wait til she's almost out or is out of high school. I don't have to worry about someone using me to get to her (they're out there). Also I'm working to rebuild myself after my ex.
     
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  16. leslie82

    leslie82 Well-Known Member

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