custody?

[Justintime]

My daughter is 4yrs, her mother and I were not married. My ex-lost custody and has supervised visits with her other almost 2yo old child (not mine), No court agreement for support or for custody/visitation for our child. I have my daughter when it is convenient for my ex, I ask for a regular schedule, 50-50 for the benefit of my daughter, she is confused and acting out only at her mothers, and her mother drops her off when she can't control her, she has NO outbursts at my home. Her mother has psychiatric problems, I have picked my daughter up at a bar, she has NO consistancy with dropping her off, picking her up, canceling 15 minutes before, not picking her up when she said, she doesn't want to commit to a schedule for our daughter, she recently quit her job, moved in with her mother, and keeps asking me for money. I did pay her child support consistantly for daycare expenses, etc, (I have receipts). I have her approximately 40% She lost the daycare because she didn't pay for 5 mths. She is unstable, unfit, has psychiatric & alcohol problems. What do I do? How do I find out the circumstances for her losing her other child? prove her unfit? Can I get custody? I don't want her mother to be out of her life, but I am worried about the welfare of my daughter & would like something in writing. what do you recommend?

 

[irish223]

My daughter is 4yrs, her mother and I were not married. My ex-lost custody and has supervised visits with her other almost 2yo old child (not mine), No court agreement for support or for custody/visitation for our child. I have my daughter when it is convenient for my ex, I ask for a regular schedule, 50-50 for the benefit of my daughter, she is confused and acting out only at her mothers, and her mother drops her off when she can't control her, she has NO outbursts at my home. Her mother has psychiatric problems, I have picked my daughter up at a bar, she has NO consistancy with dropping her off, picking her up, canceling 15 minutes before, not picking her up when she said, she doesn't want to commit to a schedule for our daughter, she recently quit her job, moved in with her mother, and keeps asking me for money. I did pay her child support consistantly for daycare expenses, etc, (I have receipts). I have her approximately 40% She lost the daycare because she didn't pay for 5 mths. She is unstable, unfit, has psychiatric & alcohol problems. What do I do? How do I find out the circumstances for her losing her other child? prove her unfit? Can I get custody? I don't want her mother to be out of her life, but I am worried about the welfare of my daughter & would like something in writing. what do you recommend?

I recommend that you legally establish paternity if it hasn't been done already, and file for custody/visitation of your daughter. You should be able to get some kind of joint custody, but you probably will not get sole custody or even primary custody unless you can prove the mother is unfit. Although her parenting may not be ideal, she has been the primary caretaker for 4 years, and nothing in your post suggests that the child is in imminent danger.

 

[Justintime]

Obviously she lost custody (she had sole) of her 2year old with supervised visits only, so that father had "something" against her as an unfit mother, I believe the child isn't in imminent danger - she lives in her grandmothers home and then we have her the other time. She is in need of a schedule which were trying to make consistant, however; I do agree that it should be in court terms/writing! Not looking for sole custody, just a little stability for my daughter sake. Thanks!