custody rights

[Bella0824]

Jurisdiction

New York

Good afternoon,

I am at a loss right now. I am not sure where to begin my story. My name is Karen Sanchez I have a 10 year old son and an 11 month old daughter. When I was 8 months pregnant I moved from California back to NY to help my mother through cancer. During a visit to his children my Fiance (my daughters father was killed). With no help from the state and no job I really had nowhere to turn. I have always worked and continue to do that today, however, I was not employed immediately after my daughters birth. I found a job shortly after she was born but it was not a position that would pay for childcare. My brother's wife's mother volunteered to care for my daughter. I explained I could not pay much but I would provided my daughter with all that she needs. She insisted that I give her full custody and the administrative person at family court told her no she would give her temporary custody. I was working late hours in queens and she agreed to keep the baby overnight. She ultimately asked me if she could take her to Ecuador with her to visit her family, I reluctantly agreed and she told me that she would need full custody for all of this to happen seamlessly. We went to court and we agreed in court that she would have this until I was on my feet which I am and now she does not want to give my daughter back to me. What can I do?

 

[Bella0824]

Let me add that I went to court after this woman told me to get visitation rights yesterday was our court date we get there and she gives me my daughter and we agreed to sign a letter stating that I will have my daughter and today she says the paper is not good enough this after she sent horrible texts stating she never wants to see my daughter again.

 

[zddoodah]

With no help from the state and no job I really had nowhere to turn. I have always worked and continue to do that today

If you "have always worked and continue to do that today," then your statement that, at some point, you had "no job" doesn't make much sense.

My brother's wife's mother volunteered to care for my daughter. . . . She insisted that I give her full custody

Ummm...the only proper response to such a request would have been to tell her to go f*** herself, but I guess that's not what you did. Also, a parent cannot simply "give . . . custody" to someone else (at least not in any legal sense).

the administrative person at family court told her no she would give her temporary custody.

An "administrative person" doesn't have the authority to issue custody orders. Only a judge has that authority. On the other hand, the courts in Queens are rather corrupt, so....

What can I do?

Your post details at least two absurdly foolish decisions you made. Don't compound things. Consult with a local attorney to seek help to straighten out this phenomenal mess you have created.

she sent horrible texts stating she never wants to see my daughter again.

So...you have your child back?

 

[ElleMD]

This reads like a bad soap opera. You needed daycare so your brother's mother in law agreed to babysit. Nothing strange there. Where you lost me is giving someone else temporary custody of your child. That is not normal. Day care providers do not seek temporary custody of the children they babysit.

It sounds like you agreed to give this woman temporary guardianship. Why?

If she was indeed the court approved legal guardian of the child, she could take her wherever she wanted. It sounds like that did not happen but she continued to be the child's babysitter. For reasons unknown she asked you if she could take the child out of the country. For reasons which make even less sense, you agreed to allow the child's babysitter to take your infant to another country. Not only that, this time you actually went through the court and guardianship was approved. Did you file with the court to terminate the guardianship?

 

[army judge]

Let me add that I went to court after this woman told me to get visitation rights yesterday was our court date we get there and she gives me my daughter and we agreed to sign a letter stating that I will have my daughter and today she says the paper is not good enough this after she sent horrible texts stating she never wants to see my daughter again.

You may have made an IRREVERSIBLE mistake "short-term", maybe longer.

You can't get the REAL help you require for FREE.

You might get legal help from any number of local legal aid agencies, assuming you can find one.

I suggest you start calling any such agency you can find, even visiting them one by one, maybe the help i out there.

Without a lawyer to assist you, very little will change for you.

 

[leslie82]

Let me add that I went to court after this woman told me to get visitation rights yesterday was our court date we get there and she gives me my daughter and we agreed to sign a letter stating that I will have my daughter and today she says the paper is not good enough this after she sent horrible texts stating she never wants to see my daughter again.

What the hell were you thinking? Why would you think you would have to sign over ANY custody to ANYONE for daycare? Your sister in law's mother couldn't just babysit? I would have told her "I'll go find someone else." And if anyone wanted to take my baby out of the country, especially a stranger and not a relative, I'd be like 'um no thanks."

You need to talk to a lawyer yesterday. Find one that does a free consultation and go from there.

Also what "woman" told you to get visitation rights? What letter did you sign? What happened in court? Who sent you horrible texts about your daughter?

 

[Bella0824]

my fiancé was murdered and I could not afford with my part time job to pay for child care - she volunteered to help me and was going to Ecuador for 3 weeks and said in order for her not to have issues she would need full custody - I didn't just say ok here have my daughter - but she told me many times when I told her I do not agree with full custody that she would just bring her to me and I could figure out who can take care of her. I KNOW that I was wrong in giving up my rights but - I am stable now and I want my daughter back - she has had full custody since April and in May is when she told me to see her I should get visitation. Understand, this is a woman I thought I could trust! We discussed several times that I would have my daughter and never was this an issue until I sent her a message stating that ok its time to start getting her acclimated to my home - then she said to get visitation. I feel like I am in the twilight zone. I just need to know what I can do to prevent her from leaving the country with my daughter because I am afraid she will never come back

This reads like a bad soap opera. You needed daycare so your brother's mother in law agreed to babysit. Nothing strange there. Where you lost me is giving someone else temporary custody of your child. That is not normal. Day care providers do not seek temporary custody of the children they babysit.

It sounds like you agreed to give this woman temporary guardianship. Why?

If she was indeed the court approved legal guardian of the child, she could take her wherever she wanted. It sounds like that did not happen but she continued to be the child's babysitter. For reasons unknown she asked you if she could take the child out of the country. For reasons which make even less sense, you agreed to allow the child's babysitter to take your infant to another country. Not only that, this time you actually went through the court and guardianship was approved. Did you file with the court to terminate the guardianship?

It really is a bad soap

What the hell were you thinking? Why would you think you would have to sign over ANY custody to ANYONE for daycare? Your sister in law's mother couldn't just babysit? I would have told her "I'll go find someone else." And if anyone wanted to take my baby out of the country, especially a stranger and not a relative, I'd be like 'um no thanks."

You need to talk to a lawyer yesterday. Find one that does a free consultation and go from there.

Also what "woman" told you to get visitation rights? What letter did you sign? What happened in court? Who sent you horrible texts about your daughter?

 

[Bella0824]

You may have made an IRREVERSIBLE mistake "short-term", maybe longer.

You can't get the REAL help you require for FREE.

You might get legal help from any number of local legal aid agencies, assuming you can find one.

I suggest you start calling any such agency you can find, even visiting them one by one, maybe the help i out there.

Without a lawyer to assist you, very little will change for you.

Thank you! I am trying to get one now.

 

[Bella0824]

If you "have always worked and continue to do that today," then your statement that, at some point, you had "no job" doesn't make much sense.



Ummm...the only proper response to such a request would have been to tell her to go f*** herself, but I guess that's not what you did. Also, a parent cannot simply "give . . . custody" to someone else (at least not in any legal sense).



An "administrative person" doesn't have the authority to issue custody orders. Only a judge has that authority. On the other hand, the courts in Queens are rather corrupt, so....

I have her with me at the moment but the lady is now telling me that her attorney advised her not to leave the baby with me that it was illegal. I know this is false but it is just disheartening to go through this with someone I trusted.

Your post details at least two absurdly foolish decisions you made. Don't compound things. Consult with a local attorney to seek help to straighten out this phenomenal mess you have created.



So...you have your child back?

 

[Bella0824]

I wish I would have said that. I have ALWAYS worked and do so now, if you read when I came back to NY I was 8 1/2 months pregnant - no one was hiring me that way - I went back to work about 12 weeks after she was born but to a part-time job and could not afford child care hence where she comes in. I have heard of drug addicts who don't have as hard a time as I am having.

 

[army judge]

I wish I would have said that. I have ALWAYS worked and do so now, if you read when I came back to NY I was 8 1/2 months pregnant - no one was hiring me that way - I went back to work about 12 weeks after she was born but to a part-time job and could not afford child care hence where she comes in. I have heard of drug addicts who don't have as hard a time as I am having.

Sadly your child is being used as an income source for the person from Ecuador, and God knows what else she's allowing to be done to your child.

You need a a lawyer ASAP.

Get busy finding a real lawyer.

The internet is useless, insofar as getting your baby back.

 

[leslie82]

my fiancé was murdered and I could not afford with my part time job to pay for child care - she volunteered to help me and was going to Ecuador for 3 weeks and said in order for her not to have issues she would need full custody - I didn't just say ok here have my daughter - but she told me many times when I told her I do not agree with full custody that she would just bring her to me and I could figure out who can take care of her. I KNOW that I was wrong in giving up my rights but - I am stable now and I want my daughter back - she has had full custody since April and in May is when she told me to see her I should get visitation. Understand, this is a woman I thought I could trust! We discussed several times that I would have my daughter and never was this an issue until I sent her a message stating that ok its time to start getting her acclimated to my home - then she said to get visitation. I feel like I am in the twilight zone. I just need to know what I can do to prevent her from leaving the country with my daughter because I am afraid she will never come back


It really is a bad soap

You haven't lost your rights - you didn't sign over your rights you gave custody. I understand you thought you had no options but I wish you would have talked to a lawyer or anyone before you did this (like you are now).

Lawyer, lawyer, lawyer. That is the only person who can help you.

 

[ElleMD]

So you had a baby last August and went back to work PT in November. If someone told me they could watch my infant but would be out of the country for 3 weeks, I would just find someone else to watch the baby for those weeks, not make the sitter a legal guardian so she could take the baby with her. I can't even wrap my head around this one. Who is watching your son?

So at some point in the April you agreed to make this woman the child's legal guardian. You went to court for this. I can't fathom the judge would have granted it solely because your babysitter wanted to take your child on a 3 weeks trip. When was/is this trip? It wasn't until May that you attempted to see your infant? his person is now the legal guardian, you are going to have to file with the court to terminate the guardianship. Be prepared to explain why this was a great idea 3 months ago, but no longer is. You left DIY land long ago and definitely need a lawyer.