Custody reversal ... hard?

[asmacumber]

Okay, here are the facts ... my wife received papers from her son's father this past week stating that she is being sued, with many modification requests being made with the most serious being that he be able to determine the child's primary residence and receive child support.

My wife has had custody since birth and her son is now almost 5 years old. The father is 45 years-old (meaning he will be 58 when their son is 18), single (he has a girlfriend but they are not engaged as far as I know), is missing most of an arm (which is a disability), and never graduated high school or college (he works for his mom and dad and only ever worked one other place but was fired from that.) Also, every time he has his son it seems that his mother comes and stays with him (maybe implying that he needs help watching him.)

She is 35 years-old, is a nurse (has a bachelors and was just accepted into the masters program at TCU to become a nursing teacher), is married and has a stable home life.

Our attorney told us that the perception is that he would have to prove her unfit to take custody, but in reality he only has to prove it would be "in the child's best interest". To me that says that while he may not have to prove her unfit, he does have to prove himself to be "more fit". Am I wrong in thinking this way? And in reality, how easy is this for him to do? I know you don't know the particulars, but suffice it to say she is a great mother (I wouldn't be with her otherwise as I have kids of my own) and in my opinion he is a good playmate but is somewhat lacking in the "parenting" department.

Also, how long of a battle are we really looking at here? His parents own a business and are better off than we are so his resources could potentially outlast ours if it stretches on too long ...

Thanks for all your help!

 

[Duranie]

All of what you posted on the Dad is totally irrelevant to custody. She chose him to father her child, his age, arm, girlfriend and whatever does not matter.

why is he asking for custody? Is there a current visitation schedule/custody agreement set up now?

Dad needs to prove mom unfit, or a major change in circumstance to get custody.

So why is Dad doing this? What are we not being told here?

 

[asmacumber]

There honestly isn't anything I'm holding back. The one major change is that we got married. He's gotten pretty jealous of my relationship with his son (I've heard him tell his son to stop calling me "Step-daddy" and to call me "Scott"). Every item listed in the suit is something that he got PO'd about. I'll give some examples:

My wife works from 7-7 (as a nurse) and he wants to be able to pick their son up if she is at work. She says it's her right to designate who picks him up during her time with their son, as it is his right during his time. (I pick him up from daycare and am the primary care-giver in the evening.)

For some reason he thinks we spank (which my wife has done, but not recently and it's only ever been an over-the-pants "attention getter). He wants it put in that we are not allowed to use corporal punishment.

A few of the things he's asking for he is entitled to anyway (like the extended visitation he should have gotten at age 3, but the ad litem attorney recommended that it wait until their son was school-aged because the dad had no experience with kids and is disabled). He had asked her if they could swithch now, and because of past experience (she gives and inch and he steals a mile) she said no, that they should stick to the papers. And that made him mad.

Also, there is a whole long argument about an eye condition that their son has. It's called ampblyopia and he was just recently diagnosed. The son is not on either of their vision insurances so she wanted to take him to an optometrist first to see if they needed to go to and ophthalmologist. That way they could save money if it isn't needed. He was resistant to this so she decided to just take him and he flew off the handle. I think that's was the proverbial "straw that broke the camel's back"). The optometrist diagnosed the condition and we got him in glasses but he still insisted on taking him the the ophthalmologist, so they did that during spring break, when he had their son and could make the appointment himself.

Oh, they also had a verbal agreement that he could bring the son home at 6:00 on Sundays instead of at 4:00 as the papers said. When her schedule changed to 12 hour shifts she told him she wanted to go back to the 4:00 time so she could have a couple more hours time, and he got really mad about that too.

What it looks like is he kept a list of things that made him mad and then looked for a "Dad" attorney (he got an attorney from Cordell & Cordell. They are a chain attorney with offices in many states and only work for dads.)

There is a lot of history (he denied paternity at first, and then in mediation told them he didn't want to pay child support but that he wanted visitation, etc). I wish I had more to tell you, but I don't. I could lay it all out, but I don't have all day, you know?!?! LOL.

 

[army judge]

In Texas, it is not called custody.

Texas terms if conservatorship.

You should hire an attorney.

It doesn't matter what his motives are, prove yours.

Let him plead his case, you plead yours.

He has deep pockets, so he might be suing because he can and he hates her.

Who knows?

It doesn't matter, he has the right to sue.

In case you didn't know, he even has the right (and so do you) to have a jury trial on the issue of conservatorship.

Texas and a few other states offer that right.

I sat second chair on a custody trial by jury that took two weeks!

The father had deep pockets in that case, too.

We won, but he proved his point.

He got part of what he requested.

Our client was restricted by the jury to residing within a 100 mile radius of his home (our county).

She wanted to move out of state.

He made a believer of my client, always try to settle out of court.

Try to get the lawyers to work this out.

If not, you might be seeing a jury, too!!!

 

[asmacumber]

Oh, I know he has the right. My main concern is how hard is it to convince the court to change what the child is used to and uproot him after 5 years. Especially if there is no significant change (not in a negative way), and she is not "unfit". I don't see how he can prove that changing the conservatorship would be in the child's best interest. That's why I'm wondering how hard it is.

 

[army judge]

Oh, I know he has the right. My main concern is how hard is it to convince the court to change what the child is used to and uproot him after 5 years. Especially if there is no significant change (not in a negative way), and she is not "unfit". I don't see how he can prove that changing the conservatorship would be in the child's best interest. That's why I'm wondering how hard it is.

It isn't hard at all.

It is even easier, if he has a lawyer and you don't!

Conservatorship is modified all the time.

 

[asmacumber]

It isn't hard at all.

It is even easier, if he has a lawyer and you don't!

Conservatorship is modified all the time.

We have the same attorney she had for the original mediation 4.5 years ago.

 

[army judge]

We have the same attorney she had for the original mediation 4.5 years ago.

Then you do yourselves and that lawyer a grave injustice.

Your questions should be taken to your attorney.

Your attorney will work with you to prepare your case.

Too many cooks spoil the stew!!!

 

[asmacumber]

Then you do yourselves and that lawyer a grave injustice.

Your questions should be taken to your attorney.

Your attorney will work with you to prepare your case.

Too many cooks spoil the stew!!!

I'm just looking for advice, not legal counsel. I'm not even named in the case so I'm researching out of curiosity so I can prepare myself for what is to come.

That's all.

Anyone else have any advice or wisdom? Experience with this type of thing?