custody i need help

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amommy23

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I have gone to court with the father of our child. He recieved mon,tues,thurs and every other sats. for his visitations which i dont agree with! My son is 6 months old. his father was not in our childs life till he was 2 months old. he had been in jail 7 days after my son was born for 9 days for getting a DUI for the second time however his DUI got dropped down to a misdemeanor and wet reckless driving. He has a huge problem with drinking. He abuses alcohol. He just recently crashed his car and i dont no how this happened and hasnt been fixed in almost 2 months now. He has visitations from 1-8 pm however mondays his mom picks my son up because hes going to be late picking him up. thursdays he drops my son off at his moms from 4-8 because he goes to work.as well as saturdays too even though hes the father his own mother spends more time with him. when i could have my son.he lied under oath in court when he said he changed his schedule for our son so he can bond and spend time with him.he goes to a high college so the judge saw him as a well put guy! i just dont find this fair!...now im the primary parent and i have the first right to refusal. yet i havnt refused his mother because my attorney a couple of months ago told me to take notes on this and go to court and lay this all out? i dont no what to do anymore im so lost and i need help desperatley...my family and i have gone through so much already i have spent every last nickel and dime i have on this please any help would be nice thank you!
 
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You have the right to file for modification of visitation and or custody at any time, as well does the father though. Just be prepared to back up your claims at the hearing if you file for modification of the visitation order.
 
thank you very much! i have them written down on a note book slab would that still be considered the proof that i need i have about 2 weeks worth of proof written down?
 
I wouldn't think written accusations are considered proof. I could write down all kinds of stuff about my ex that doesn't make it facts, ya know what I mean? There may be a better way to prove what your saying is going on than just writting it down. Also depending on your income you might be able to look into legal assistance. The judge may not care much about dad drinking unless you have proof that he's endangering the child. messed up I know but thats the way this stuff works.
 
I am not a lawyer, but I assume no matter what you have, the judge is the one who decides that it is enough or not. You most certainly have the right to present what you have though. What I would do is file the motion of modification and you can call the clerk of the court who handles this in your locality, and get a hearing date. Also, check into free legal services in you area.
 
MorgansDaddy said:
I am not a lawyer, but I assume no matter what you have, the judge is the one who decides that it is enough or not. You most certainly have the right to present what you have though. What I would do is file the motion of modification and you can call the clerk of the court who handles this in your locality, and get a hearing date. Also, check into free legal services in you area.
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Not so fast :)

While OP can present all the notebooks she wants, they will NOT be admissible unless they are submitted correctly according to the rules of the court. Taking a notebook into the court-room isn't going to work.

And even then, it's hearsay without actual proof.
 
Funny thing is is that my husband spoke with a lawyer for his custody case and the childs mother was doing the same thing as this father, so the lawyer said some similar advice. Write it all down, time, location, details. When my husband went to court the judge didn't care about what he had "written down" He wanted proof of what was going on and how it wasn't in the childs best interest to be with the mother at those times. Just writting it down doesn't PROVE ANYTHING really as far as I know his ex "wrote stuff" about him. Neither one of them had proof. It def. wouldn't hurt to have things written down for your own records to bring up certain instences to point to and a count of how often it happens. But only having two weeks worth of stuff written down doesn't seem like enough "proof" to get dads vistitation changed. This is my opinion. I may be wrong but it's what I think...
 
Discuss with your Lawyer what is proper method to bring in evidence in your case. Its very likely you wil be required to provide the other side with this same evidence (notebook) so they may dispute it if needed
 
Dad not being in the childs life until 2 months old is NOT a big deal. The child is a baby. If paternity was not even established by then, Dad had no rights anyways. Also first right of refusal generrally applies to paid child care, not grandma. Most courts are not going to frown upon Grandma seeing the child. A DUI really is not a big deal unless you can prove Dad drinks when the baby is in his care. Dad does have rights here, you need to prove it is not in the childs best interest for Dad to have this much time.
 
i do have proof

i have the dates and times written down....just like this last thusday i went and picked my son up from his mothers house and he was not there he was at work....and today of all days EASTER!!!!!! he didnt pick up his son his mother did and i asked her were he was he never calls and tells me hes not picking him up and i think out of respect and from the mediator says u need to keep her updated as much as i do....he is at work and not with his son on easter when he could be spending more time with me not the grandma??? what is considered PROOF? dates times and locations and his time sheet for work isnt considered proof?
 
a_mommy23 said:
i have the dates and times written down....just like this last thusday i went and picked my son up from his mothers house and he was not there he was at work....and today of all days EASTER!!!!!! he didnt pick up his son his mother did and i asked her were he was he never calls and tells me hes not picking him up and i think out of respect and from the mediator says u need to keep her updated as much as i do....he is at work and not with his son on easter when he could be spending more time with me not the grandma??? what is considered PROOF? dates times and locations and his time sheet for work isnt considered proof?
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Just curious.... Are you upset that he has so much visitation, or that he isn't always able to be with his son during his visitation?

Frankly, I doubt that he will be penalized for WORKING during some hours of his visitation, especially when the child's grandmother cares for the baby in his absence.

If his work hours are so problematic for you, why not offer to change the hours so that he has the baby from 8 to 3? Since it sounds as though he works the afternoon shift, he won't have rely on his mother to care for the child, and you won't be upset that he isn't personally using all of his visitation time.
 
Honestly I think it may be time you moved on and got passed this issue. I doubt a judge is going to do anything about it. Dads visitation time is his time not yours. Dad isn't putting the child in danger so there is really nothing you should be stressing about. While Dads at work the child is being cared for.

My husband had a similar situation where the mother had more visitation but was always working and always had kiddo in daycare. Dad said to the mediator why can't I just have kiddo on those days rather than her be in daycare. Basically they had joint custody and thats how it was set up. May not be fair but thats how it was. Mother was entitled to her time, if she didn't use it nobody could really take it away so long as the child was being cared for.

Lifes not fair...especially family court...
 
Barbie77, by jove, you're getting it!!

I agree.

Sometimes it just ain't worth the effort.


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modification worked!

The modification papers worked he lost 3 days worth. The judge ordered him to not work on the days he has our son. The proof i had was enough he said. im not an agree ex, i want whats best for my son and i agreed with the judge in this order!
 
The judge actually ordered that your ex CANNOT work on the days he has the child?

Really?
 
wow...to me that doesn't seem like something that the judge should really have power of...I mean hows the guy supposed to be expected to pay his support when the judge is telling him not to work for how many days? I thought so long as the child is being cared for that it doesnt matter where the child is or who its with. If thats the case my husbands ex shouldn't have the child at all based on what youre saying. His ex is ALWAYS working like everyday 8 to 12hrs and leaving the child at day care or with babysitters....but yet they havent taken her time away. Like I've said before...the system is skrewed up majorly!
 
barbie77 said:
wow...to me that doesn't seem like something that the judge should really have power of...I mean hows the guy supposed to be expected to pay his support when the judge is telling him not to work for how many days? I thought so long as the child is being cared for that it doesnt matter where the child is or who its with. If thats the case my husbands ex shouldn't have the child at all based on what youre saying. His ex is ALWAYS working like everyday 8 to 12hrs and leaving the child at day care or with babysitters....but yet they havent taken her time away. Like I've said before...the system is skrewed up majorly!
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Gonna give you a hint, barbie... it's highly, extremely unlikely that this happened the way it's been told ;)
 
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