Custody back from grandparents

[Jconfused14]

Jurisdiction

North Carolina

Hello,

In June 2012 my daughter was born.
Sept 2013 she was given to dad and step mom in Nc with emergency custody voluntarily stating that I was not in a good place and I have "anger" issues. Granting them temporary custody.
Jan 2014 I wrote my parents an email stating that they knew I wanted her back and that I have no anger issues and I had full intent on getting her back
April 2014 they filed permanent custody and didn't tell me, they served me after the court date and my dad served me. (which was illegal I thought)
I visited Nc once April of 2015
They moved from Nc to Kansas and I remained in Washington, then I found out they were coming to Colorado. So I came out here in march of 2016, they moved here June of 2016.
I asked for them to be reasonable and work with me to get araya back, they refused in sept 2016.
They requested adoption, I considered it, but didn't sign anything or go through with it.
Now I find out they took a job in Washington DC in April 2017 and they are already packed up and ready to leave, without notice really they are military, but not ordered to leave. I know I can't keep them here, but do I have a chance or not if getting her back?

She knows who I am but they are brainwashingher to call me by my name and not mom any more, I pay child support and I did she her every Sunday, but it feels like visiting their kid not mine. They refuse to go down with out a fight, I know they won't make this easy. I have already started on bring the case to co, and getting it started here before they leave.

Thanks I know this is a lot

 

[army judge]

Your parents have all the marbles.
You lost your marbles due to your issues.
Any redress you seek will be in a courtroom.
It's rare the court will undo permanent custody because you now want to be the mother you were unable to be in the past.

The court will look at one thing, and one thing only, what's in the best interest of the child.

The child is doing well.
Your parents are focusing on what's best for their child.
You don't get it.

I don't see anything changing now because you want it to change.
What you want isn't in the child's best interests, it's your interests and wants you're pursuing.

Frankly, your ungrateful attitude won't serve you well, again.

I suggest you begin thinking about what the child needs, and not what you want.

 

[Jconfused14]

Yea that's what I thought too, don't miss understand, that's why she's been in their care so long. It was temporary care, I never had anger issues and thy know that, however i was homeless and they wouldn't take me in just her. So I did what I had to to protect her. I have year after year tried to be apart of her life and their life, they however rejected any relationship, with them or her.

I too thought she was in the best place, - mom a dad, things like that. Until I found out that her and my brother test below average socially and in school. My dad is 65 and can't work, and my step mom is never home.

She has no structure, so I don't think this is really the best instrest any more. Thank you.

 

[army judge]

Yea that's what I thought too, don't miss understand, that's why she's been in their care so long. It was temporary care, I never had anger issues and thy know that, however i was homeless and they wouldn't take me in just her. So I did what I had to to protect her. I have year after year tried to be apart of her life and their life, they however rejected any relationship, with them or her.

I too thought she was in the best place, - mom a dad, things like that. Until I found out that her and my brother test below average socially and in school. My dad is 65 and can't work, and my step mom is never home.

She has no structure, so I don't think this is really the best instrest any more. Thank you.

Advanced age doesn't mean you can't be a great parent.
I know many grandparents doing great jobs as parents because their much younger children became drug addicts, and the grandparents stepped up!

I understand this troubles you.
Honestly, criticizing your parents for helping, not hurting illustrates a lack of understanding that you need to begin improving.
Had your parents done nothing, that child would now be a permanent ward of the state.
You'd have not only lost custody, your parental rights would have been revoked, and the kid would be in "the foster care system" or adopted out to a stranger.

Being a parent is never easy.
It's also a job that requires a person to do 24/7/365 for 18 years at a minimum.

At age 65 I'm sure your pops would rather not be parenting a child.
Yet, his love for the caused him to step up and do it.

I wish you the best.
I hope you get the help you need, not for the I'd, but for yourself.
You can be anything you want to be, even a mother, again.
But be smart, fix yourself, rid yourself of your demons.
Don't be embarrassed, we all have demons.
We have to work everyday of our lives to suppress those demons to be our better selves.

Get help, don't stop, anyone can do it, if I did it!

 

[Jconfused14]

I have never had any law or drug issues. You sure do judge very hard. My parents are both on meds for depression and in anger management classes.... they have actually been forced by the courts to go to parenting classes due to what they have done to me and my sisters. I could have asked my sister and a few other people to watch her. I didn't think they would turn on me.

I have never judged them or falsely accused them of doing anything but help her and I out. However, my father is mentally ill, he can not work and is now refusing to take his meds and is tiring to drinking. My step mom has really bad anger issues and abuses my dad but I didn't just bring that up because I don't think they are trying to be bad people. I know they have good intentions and are doing what they think is right.

And again, I didn't loose custody. I voluntarily gave them up for a temporary amount of time.

They have done so much that I could never repay them for, I have come a long way, and I would never just rip her away from them. I want them to continue to have a strong loving relationship with them. However they said if I win her back they refuse to ever talk to us again.

It's about control with my family, and I get that. I've always known that. I'm not sure how long my dad will be around due to his health, another reason I asked them to take her, so she could get to know him. It's gonna be very hard on all of us.

I met my dad when I was 10, and the next weekend lived with him and was fine. I don't seem the harm in them being grandparents.

 

[army judge]

Thread closed.

 

[Jconfused14]

Thank you for your in our, but are you listening? I am nothing like your family. 8 have never had a drug or law issue. And barely three months later I asked for her back and my parents refused because they want to keep her because they want another daughter.

They are NOT happy to return her to me that's why I have to go to court... and I have never had any issues that you have listed above. I was married and a stay at home wife. My husband and her father , just left us and we never heard from him again, it was a lot of money issues that caused this problem. I didn't just go out and be irresponsible, I didn't just have a baby and do drugs and party.... you aren't making any sense.

 

[army judge]

Thank you for your in our, but are you listening? I am nothing like your family. 8 have never had a drug or law issue. And barely three months later I asked for her back and my parents refused because they want to keep her because they want another daughter.

They are NOT happy to return her to me that's why I have to go to court... and I have never had any issues that you have listed above. I was married and a stay at home wife. My husband and her father , just left us and we never heard from him again, it was a lot of money issues that caused this problem. I didn't just go out and be irresponsible, I didn't just have a baby and do drugs and party.... you aren't making any sense.

Okay, I'm closing this thread.
I don't need to listen to you.
You came here, remember?
I don't have any problems.
I never lost my children to the legal process.

Not much more that anyone can do for you.
You must do for yourself.
Good luck.