Custody after Ex has Covid

[floridagirl75]

Jurisdiction

Florida

My ex went to a week-long party at the beach while our kids were with me. There was no social distancing, no masks, sharing of food and drinks, etc. When he returned, he found out people had tested positive for Covid. He was supposed to get the kids the next day, but said he would get tested before seeing them. One daughter has asthma and was going to be having surgery in early August and needed to stay healthy. It took 15 days for him to get results and they came back positive. This was 5 days before our daughter's surgery. He did not see them during this time and did not request to see them. We dropped cards and gifts off and they face timed multiple times per day. The hospital said he was not allowed to be at the hospital for her surgery or her recovery at the hospital (she was in for 5 days). I told him he should test again to be sure he is negative before seeing the girls once the one was out of the hospital. He finally received a negative test and we have resumed a normal schedule. He missed a total of 17 days with them over the summer. During the summer, our schedule is 50/50 and during the school year it is 60/40 (I'm 60, he's 40). School starts August 31st. I gave him a 5 day weekend upfront, 2 days back with me, and another 5 weekend. He is now asking to have them the rest of the summer, with the exception of 4 days, to make up the time he missed. The girls don't want to do that, and neither do I. He is threatening legal action because any days missed are required to be made up. He has done this in the past when he has gone on vacation during his time. Is it a requirement to make up time missed? I am trying to give some extra time, but this is an extreme circumstance with a lot of time to make up. Even if we did make it up, he already has a week vacation this Fall he wants to make up for as well. At some point, I feel like enough is enough.

 

[army judge]

Is it a requirement to make up time missed?

I suggest that when your former spouse speaks about ANYTHING other than the well being and school progress of the children you say nothing.

If he mentions legal action, simply say, "Speak to my attorney, or have your attorney contact mine."

If he is allowed to intimidate you to get his way, the next decade (or so) will be miserable.

You should only speak to him about the well being and school progress of the children.

You and he are divorced for good cause, keep that in mind.

Always endeavor to limit your exposure to toxic people and their deadly behaviors.

 

[Zigner]

He is threatening legal action because any days missed are required to be made up.

Is it a requirement to make up time missed?

You first stated that it is a requirement and then you ask if it is a requirement.

Are you trying to say that he is asserting that it's a requirement and you are trying to verify if that is correct? If that is what you are trying to find out, then I would tell you to refer back to your court order. If your court order doesn't require make-up time, then it's not required. YOU did not cause the situation.

 

[adjusterjack]

He is threatening legal action because any days missed are required to be made up.

Let him threaten all he wants. You do what's best for the children. He got himself exposed to Covid19. I doubt that any judge will have much sympathy for him.

 

[floridagirl75]

Thank you everyone. He always tries to tell me what the law is and always tries to intimidate me and he hates that I don't respond to his threats. Thank you for the reminder to limit my exposure to toxic people. Sometimes I let myself get wrapped up in his crap, and I need to remember to let it go.

 

[army judge]

Sometimes I let myself get wrapped up in his crap, and I need to remember to let it go.

There you go, that's using the old noggin.

Be happy that you rid yourself of him, and you'll soon be even happier when he's hundreds of miles away from you.

As far as listening to his discussion of the legal system, don't let him get started again.
If he starts, excuse yourself to go to the restroom, then say goodbye.

Another good tactic is to tell him you've got to go because its time for you to read The Koran, The Torah, The Witches Cookbook, The Bible, or whatever religious book comes to mind.

I have a friend who tells her former spouse she has to go and call her 95 year old sugar daddy.

Anyway, he's nothing to you, which means you can tell him shoo, go away, scat silly cat!

 

[mightymoose]

He is threatening legal action because any days missed are required to

That is all the reason you need to stop messing with the custody plan. All he is entitled to is what is on the visitation order. It was nice of you to give him those extra days, but you didn't have to. Follow your custody order exactly and do not deviate from it. When you deviate and something goes wrong it is much harder for anyone to help you.

 

[leslie82]

My ex went to a week-long party at the beach while our kids were with me. There was no social distancing, no masks, sharing of food and drinks, etc. When he returned, he found out people had tested positive for Covid. He was supposed to get the kids the next day, but said he would get tested before seeing them. One daughter has asthma and was going to be having surgery in early August and needed to stay healthy. It took 15 days for him to get results and they came back positive. This was 5 days before our daughter's surgery. He did not see them during this time and did not request to see them. We dropped cards and gifts off and they face timed multiple times per day. The hospital said he was not allowed to be at the hospital for her surgery or her recovery at the hospital (she was in for 5 days). I told him he should test again to be sure he is negative before seeing the girls once the one was out of the hospital. He finally received a negative test and we have resumed a normal schedule. He missed a total of 17 days with them over the summer. During the summer, our schedule is 50/50 and during the school year it is 60/40 (I'm 60, he's 40). School starts August 31st. I gave him a 5 day weekend upfront, 2 days back with me, and another 5 weekend. He is now asking to have them the rest of the summer, with the exception of 4 days, to make up the time he missed. The girls don't want to do that, and neither do I. He is threatening legal action because any days missed are required to be made up. He has done this in the past when he has gone on vacation during his time. Is it a requirement to make up time missed? I am trying to give some extra time, but this is an extreme circumstance with a lot of time to make up. Even if we did make it up, he already has a week vacation this Fall he wants to make up for as well. At some point, I feel like enough is enough.

He can threaten what he wants. Until he does something - I wouldn't worry about it. You gave him some extra time and tried to make up as best you could. Until you get some kind of legal document stating he filed a custody modification he's likely blowing smoke up your ass.

You should re-read your custody decree and see if it says anything about making up time but I doubt it does since covid-19 is brand new and no one could have addressed a pandemic in a custody arrangement.

 

[leslie82]

That is all the reason you need to stop messing with the custody plan. All he is entitled to is what is on the visitation order. It was nice of you to give him those extra days, but you didn't have to. Follow your custody order exactly and do not deviate from it. When you deviate and something goes wrong it is much harder for anyone to help you.

She had to deviate from it since he had a positive covid-19 result...