Custodial parent moved out of state leaving no address

[petermg]

Jurisdiction

Oregon

As title says, the custodial parent (mom), moved out of state, from Oregon to Ohio, did not notify the court nor myself and will not return my calls.
I spoke with a lawyer and he told me that without getting her address I have zero recourse. He suggested hiring a PI.
Is that my only option?
Can a custodial parent really move out of state and if their address is not known by the court or other parent they do this with zero consequences?
Just want to confirm, as I've never heard of such a thing before.
Also if not, what would my other options be? Can I still file something with the court even though I don't know her address that would go into effect once she is found?
Like maybe an order for her to move back or change of custody, etc.? I'm not sure what my options are - if any in the court at this point without her address?
Thanks.

 

[Zigner]

Answers to your question would really depend on the contents of your court order. I would suggest that you speak with another attorney or two.

 

[army judge]

Is that my only option?

Think about it for a minute or two.

If you don't know where she is, how could she be served with legal papers?

A PI or a "skip tracer" have the capability to find almost anyone, except those who choose to live OFF THE GRID.

Let's start with a couple questions that you probably know the answers.

Were you LEGALLY married to female at the time she delivered the baby?

If you weren't married, did you establish paternity through the Oregon court system or the state child support collection agency?

Can a custodial parent really move out of state and if their address is not known by the court or other parent they do this with zero consequences?

That depends on the answers you gave to the above two questions.

Normally a parent can't move a child to another county or state without prior approval from the court that issued the original custody order.

If the custodial parent moves the minor child without court permission and against the noncustodial parent's wishes, a judge may punish the custodial parent with a contempt order, including fines and jail time.

A judge could even change custody arrangements in favor of the noncustodial parent.

Oregon law recognizes that it is in a child's best interest to maintain a close and continuous relationship with BOTH parents.

When a child and noncustodial parent have lived in close proximity to each other and enjoyed regular parenting time together, there are special considerations when a custodial parent wishes to relocate.

Oregon USUALLY permits a custodial parent to relocate up to 60 miles from the other parent without notifying the noncustodial parent prior to the move.

If the custodial parent plans to move MORE than 60 miles away from the noncustodial parent or outside the state of Oregon, the custodial parent must notify both the other parent and the court prior to relocation.

Regardless of the distance, a custodial parent must continue to comply with any court order regarding parenting time unless and until that order is changed by the judge.

If the noncustodial parent doesn't agree to the proposed move, the noncustodial parent can file a petition in court to stop it or the custodial parent may file a petition in court asking the judge to allow the relocation. In either case, the judge must consider whether the relocation would be in the child's best interest. In considering the best interest of the child in a relocation case, the judge will consider a variety of factors, including:

* the reason for the move (for example, a better employment opportunity, remarriage, or to be closer to extended family)

* the effect of the relocation on the noncustodial parent and child's relationship, and
whether the move would benefit the child, for example, by allowing the child access to better schools, more extracurricular activities, or special medical attention.

The judge could decide that it is in the child's best interest to: allow the custodial parent to move with the child; order the custodial parent to stay put; or allow the custodial parent to move, but change custody to the other parent.

If a custodial parent is allowed to move, some adjustments will most likely have to be made to the noncustodial parent's parenting time schedule and could include things like extended vacations and video messaging.

I suggest you see if local law enforcement will get involved.
In some situations, the police will issue the necessary orders and alerts, while endeavoring to locate the parent and the child.

If the police get involved, all you need to do is follow their instructions and standby for the parent and child to be located.

You also have some powerful federal laws working for you.

The Uniform Child-Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act (read all about it):

https://www.ojp.gov/pdffiles1/ojjdp/189181.pdf

Okay, think it over and determine your next steps.

 

[justblue]

As title says, the custodial parent (mom), moved out of state, from Oregon to Ohio, did not notify the court nor myself and will not return my calls.
I spoke with a lawyer and he told me that without getting her address I have zero recourse. He suggested hiring a PI.
Is that my only option?
Can a custodial parent really move out of state and if their address is not known by the court or other parent they do this with zero consequences?
Just want to confirm, as I've never heard of such a thing before.
Also if not, what would my other options be? Can I still file something with the court even though I don't know her address that would go into effect once she is found?
Like maybe an order for her to move back or change of custody, etc.? I'm not sure what my options are - if any in the court at this point without her address?
Thanks.

How old are your children? Do they have a cell phone?

Once you find out where she lives and have her served, you can file for the child/ren to be returned to Oregon. Please note that the judge can not order HER to move back, just that the children be returned.

How long ago did she move?

 

[petermg]

Were you LEGALLY married to female at the time she delivered the baby?

If you weren't married, did you establish paternity through the Oregon court system or the state child support collection agency?
....

Okay, think it over and determine your next steps.

We were married when she gave birth, paternity is established (or acknowledged) in the court order/parenting plan).
I will read over the Uniform Child-Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act and see what my options are. Thank you.

 

[petermg]

How old are your children? Do they have a cell phone?

Once you find out where she lives and have her served, you can file for the child/ren to be returned to Oregon. Please note that the judge can not order HER to move back, just that the children be returned.

How long ago did she move?

She moved about a week or so ago.
My daughter is 16.

 

[justblue]

She moved about a week or so ago.
My daughter is 16.

Does your daughter have a cell? If so, did you call her to ask for her new address?

 

[Red Kayak]

We were married when she gave birth, paternity is established (or acknowledged) in the court order/parenting plan).
I will read over the Uniform Child-Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act and see what my options are. Thank you.

Has the move affected your ability to exercise your court ordered parenting time?

Have you been in the habit of using your parenting time to see your daughter?

How active have you been, as a parent, beyond court ordered parenting time? Did you attend her sporting events or performances, for example?

 

[army judge]

We were married when she gave birth, paternity is established (or acknowledged) in the court order/parenting plan).
I will read over the Uniform Child-Custody Jurisdiction and Enforcement Act and see what my options are. Thank you.

You have a good number of things going for you.

It couldn't hurt to take your court issued order and visit the local police or sheriff department.

You could report her departure for parts unknown to you, even though you suspect Ohio, and see what the police offer as your options.

Here is how the Portland Police address matters "Custodial Interference":

0640.31 Custodial Interference | 0600 - Field Operations | The City of Portland, Oregon

Definitions:

Custodial Interference: Where a person, knowing or having reason to believe that they have no legal right to do so, takes, entices or keeps an individual from another person's lawful custody, or violates a valid joint custody order from a court, with the intent to hold the individual permanently or for a protracted period.

Policy:

1. The Portland Police Bureau recognizes that members will investigate family disputes regarding minors and other dependent individuals under parentship/guardianship. Members shall investigate custodial interference situations in accordance with the procedures in this directive.

2. The Bureau recognizes that some custodial interference may have civil or criminal implications. If a member determines that the custodial interference does not rise to the level of criminal conduct and instead warrants civil resolution, members shall not intercede in physical custody disputes, but will instead refer involved parents/guardians to the Family Courts for resolution. For custodial interferences rising to the level of criminal conduct, members will follow the procedures set forth in this directive.



Procedure:

1. Member Responsibilities:

1.1. In the absence of any indications of a criminal act, concerns about the child's welfare, or a signed order from a judge commanding law enforcement to transfer custody of a child, members shall not transfer physical custody from one party to another. Members shall instead refer both parties to Family Court for resolution.

1.2. If a member takes a report involving custodial interference, and any involved child is believed to be in imminent danger by being with the suspect(s), the member shall immediately contact a supervisor and advise of the situation.

1.3. The supervisor will then contact a Missing Persons Unit (MPERS) detective or the On-Call Homicide Supervisor.

1.4. The MPERS detective or the On-Call Homicide supervisor (or a designee), will evaluate whether the incident meets the criteria for an Amber Alert. Members shall refer to Directive 850.39, Missing, Runaway, Lost, or Disoriented Persons, for additional guidance.

1.5. Any person requesting from a member a recommendation for an attorney should be referred to the Oregon State Bar Lawyers Referral Service or the Multnomah County Family Law Court. Members shall not recommend attorneys or provide legal advice.

2. Reporting:

2.1. Members taking reports that appear to constitute custodial interference that is determined to be criminal in nature shall complete a General Offense Report. The report should include detailed biographical and contact information for all involved parties, including the reporting party, alleged suspects, and alleged missing or involved child. If a member determines that the matter is not criminal in nature, the member may document that determination in the comments on the member's mobile data computer (MDC) prior to closing the call.

2.2. Members taking reports that appear to constitute custodial interference shall ensure the report is routed to the MPERS Detective Division through the Regional Justice Information Network (RegJIN).

2.3. Questions regarding criminal custodial interference should be referred to MPERS during business hours.

2.4. Members encountering custodial interference cases that appear to involve child abuse or sexual abuse will also contact the Child Abuse Team. Members shall refer to Directive 640.30, Child Abuse Investigations and 850.39, Missing, Runaway, Lost, or Disoriented Persons, for additional guidance.

2.5. Members should clearly articulate the reporting party's reason(s) for why the incident might rise to the level of criminal custodial interference, rather than possibly being a civil custody matter to be remedied in the appropriate Family Law Court.

Oregon State Police Policy:

AMBER Alert
A critical missing child response tool combining resources of law enforcement and media.
AMBER Alerts notify the public to be on the lookout due to an urgent bulletin of a serious child abduction case and to report any information observed.

Statistics show that time is our greatest adversary when a child has been abducted.

What are the criteria for Law Enforcement officials to activate an AMBER Alert?
Law enforcement officials confirm a child has been abducted;

and The child is 17 years or younger;

and Law enforcement officials believe that the child is in imminent danger of serious bodily harm or death;

and There is adequate descriptive information available to believe that its dissemination to the public could help locate the child, suspect, and/or suspect's vehicle;

and The child's name and other critical data elements - including the child abduction (CA) and AMBER Alert (AA) flags must be entered into the National Crime Information Center (NCIC) system.

The FBI comments:

Domestic Custodial-Motivated Child Abductions — LEB

You have several options, mate.

I hope things work out well for you, the child especially, and the abductor is taught a painful lesson.

 

[zddoodah]

As title says, the custodial parent (mom), moved out of state, from Oregon to Ohio, did not notify the court nor myself and will not return my calls.

How do you know she moved to Ohio?

I spoke with a lawyer and he told me that without getting her address I have zero recourse. He suggested hiring a PI.
Is that my only option?

No, but it's probably the option most likely to result in accurate information in a relatively short amount of time.

Can a custodial parent really move out of state and if their address is not known by the court or other parent they do this with zero consequences?

Depends on what the divorce decree or custody order says and the extent to which the non-custodial parent takes action.

Can I still file something with the court even though I don't know her address that would go into effect once she is found?

Anything you file with the court must be served on the other party, and you need a current address to do that.

My daughter is 16.

I don't know any non-Amish, non-homeless 16-year olds who don't have a mobile phone. Do you have the number?

 

[petermg]

You have a good number of things going for you.

It couldn't hurt to take your court issued order and visit the local police or sheriff department.

You could report her departure for parts unknown to you, even though you suspect Ohio, and see what the police offer as your options.

Here is how the Portland Police address matters "Custodial Interference":

0640.31 Custodial Interference | 0600 - Field Operations | The City of Portland, Oregon

Definitions:

Custodial Interference: Where a person, knowing or having reason to believe that they have no legal right to do so, takes, entices or keeps an individual from another person's lawful custody, or violates a valid joint custody order from a court, with the intent to hold the individual permanently or for a protracted period.

Policy:

1. The Portland Police Bureau recognizes that members will investigate family disputes regarding minors and other dependent individuals under parentship/guardianship. Members shall investigate custodial interference situations in accordance with the procedures in this directive.

2. The Bureau recognizes that some custodial interference may have civil or criminal implications. If a member determines that the custodial interference does not rise to the level of criminal conduct and instead warrants civil resolution, members shall not intercede in physical custody disputes, but will instead refer involved parents/guardians to the Family Courts for resolution. For custodial interferences rising to the level of criminal conduct, members will follow the procedures set forth in this directive.



Procedure:

1. Member Responsibilities:

1.1. In the absence of any indications of a criminal act, concerns about the child's welfare, or a signed order from a judge commanding law enforcement to transfer custody of a child, members shall not transfer physical custody from one party to another. Members shall instead refer both parties to Family Court for resolution.

1.2. If a member takes a report involving custodial interference, and any involved child is believed to be in imminent danger by being with the suspect(s), the member shall immediately contact a supervisor and advise of the situation.

1.3. The supervisor will then contact a Missing Persons Unit (MPERS) detective or the On-Call Homicide Supervisor.

1.4. The MPERS detective or the On-Call Homicide supervisor (or a designee), will evaluate whether the incident meets the criteria for an Amber Alert. Members shall refer to Directive 850.39, Missing, Runaway, Lost, or Disoriented Persons, for additional guidance.

1.5. Any person requesting from a member a recommendation for an attorney should be referred to the Oregon State Bar Lawyers Referral Service or the Multnomah County Family Law Court. Members shall not recommend attorneys or provide legal advice.

2. Reporting:

2.1. Members taking reports that appear to constitute custodial interference that is determined to be criminal in nature shall complete a General Offense Report. The report should include detailed biographical and contact information for all involved parties, including the reporting party, alleged suspects, and alleged missing or involved child. If a member determines that the matter is not criminal in nature, the member may document that determination in the comments on the member's mobile data computer (MDC) prior to closing the call.

2.2. Members taking reports that appear to constitute custodial interference shall ensure the report is routed to the MPERS Detective Division through the Regional Justice Information Network (RegJIN).

2.3. Questions regarding criminal custodial interference should be referred to MPERS during business hours.

2.4. Members encountering custodial interference cases that appear to involve child abuse or sexual abuse will also contact the Child Abuse Team. Members shall refer to Directive 640.30, Child Abuse Investigations and 850.39, Missing, Runaway, Lost, or Disoriented Persons, for additional guidance.

2.5. Members should clearly articulate the reporting party's reason(s) for why the incident might rise to the level of criminal custodial interference, rather than possibly being a civil custody matter to be remedied in the appropriate Family Law Court.

Oregon State Police Policy:

AMBER Alert
A critical missing child response tool combining resources of law enforcement and media.
AMBER Alerts notify the public to be on the lookout due to an urgent bulletin of a serious child abduction case and to report any information observed.

Statistics show that time is our greatest adversary when a child has been abducted.

What are the criteria for Law Enforcement officials to activate an AMBER Alert?
Law enforcement officials confirm a child has been abducted;

and The child is 17 years or younger;

and Law enforcement officials believe that the child is in imminent danger of serious bodily harm or death;

and There is adequate descriptive information available to believe that its dissemination to the public could help locate the child, suspect, and/or suspect's vehicle;

and The child's name and other critical data elements - including the child abduction (CA) and AMBER Alert (AA) flags must be entered into the National Crime Information Center (NCIC) system.

.....

You have several options, mate.

I hope things work out well for you, the child especially, and the abductor is taught a painful lesson.

Thanks again. A few more details, let me know if you think this may put me at a disadvantage (or maybe advantage?). I have been prevented by the mother from being involved with my daughter due to the following:

1. When my daughter was almost 13 she told me that she didn't want to come over anymore because she cannot be herself with me. (Probably because she has more "freedom" to do what she wants with her mom). I tried reasoning with her mother but her mother straight out text messaged me saying she will not enforce the parenting plan. At this point my daughter had started getting in trouble at school for things like brining weed to school, bringing razor blades to school and saying she's going to cut herself. She got suspended for a time over these things. Then the mother/custodial parent moved to a different part of the city without giving me the address and stopped returning my calls or text messages.
2. When trying to determine what course of action I should take, a father's rights... activist? named Mike Weening told me that some time in the teenage years kids go into what he calls a "black hole" and prefer to not see one of the parents and usually reach back out to that parent after they turn 18. He recommended if I tried to get the court to enforce the parenting plan it could cause SEVERE long-term damage to my relationship with my daughter. After much thought and prayer I took his advice, which wasn't easy for me to do but now I'm thinking I made the wrong choice even though the mother admittedly refused to enforce the parenting plan and also changed addresses (i.e. moved) in the same city but did not give me her new address. As of right now I'm thinking I shouldn't've taken this mans advice.

My daughter is now 16.
I just learned that at some point a year or two ago she tried to commit suicide and had to be flown to a hospital up state. Her mother never notified me about this, and according to the parenting plan and court order, we are required to inform each other of serious medical issues regarding our daughter.
Her mom allows her to drink and smoke pot and cigarettes. My daughter has posted pictures of herself doing these things on social media. When I informed her mother, she said she would take care of it.
Then I find I'm now blocked from all my daughter's social media accounts.
I've heard it is common for a teen to reject the parent that has more structure/standards/is stricter. This parent is me -(since not doing drugs is stricter than her mom).
There will be no smoking or drinking with me.
Zero.
Her mom has even bought her older, but minor, sister a pipe for smoking weed.
Her mom is an admitted alcoholic and has used meth on and off (in court she denies all of this).
I always thought she would eventually get caught up in the system over her drug use and I would be given my daughter.
Somehow she has never been caught in any legal trouble doing any of these things.

I have most likely followed some bad advice and now I have little leverage, if any on my side, I'm thinking.
Maybe also because my daughter is 16 and from what she told me when she was 12 years old, doesn't want to see me I have zero leverage on my side? However she did at some point tell my adult daughter that she doesn't know why she doesn't see me anymore, so maybe she forgot or?? Maybe somehow her mother put it in her head that I don't want to see her? I can only speculate.
I am willing to accept that I have made some serious legal mistakes. If there is little to nothing I can do I am able to accept that.
However, as a father, concerned for my daughters safety, with drug use and attempted suicide, I feel whatever my options are, no matter how small and insignificant they might be because I may have given up a lot of legal standing by following this advice, I want to still follow through and do what I can to at least try to protect my daughter.

I have my daughter's email address and last week I sent her a couple of emails letting her know that I love her, will not shame her for not seeing me and that she can reach out to me for anything she needs and I will give it to her. And that if she wants to come back here I will fly her out any time.
I do not have her phone number, my sister got it from her recently, also my adult daughter (different mother) has it who has also told me that sometimes her phone is shut off - disconnected.
I've not messaged or called her because I don't know if her mom is monitoring it, or even if my daughter wants to talk to or see me or not.
In fact, my daughter told my ADULT daughter (different mom) that she doesn't even know why she doesn't see me anymore.
about a week or two, when she was still 12, and said she didn't want to come over anymore because she couldn't be herself with me, I went to a back to school parent's meeting, something like that, her mom didn't show up. After the meeting I bought her some things at the book fair, something like that, that I thought she would like. I brought it by her mom's place and her mom told me that she wouldn't come to the door, so I just gave the things I bought for her to her mom.
My concern is that if she wouldn't even come to the door, maybe she thinks I'm looking to shame her? If that's what she thinks, no way will she respond to my text messages or calls, in fact, I'm concerned they may cause her to push me away even more.
But maybe I'm wrong? Maybe now she thinks I don't want to see her? Maybe she's forgotten about her telling me that she doesn't want to come over anymore?

 

[army judge]

My concern is that if she wouldn't even come to the door, maybe she thinks I'm looking to shame her? If that's what she thinks, no way will she respond to my text messages or calls, in fact, I'm concerned they may cause her to push me away even more.
But maybe I'm wrong? Maybe now she thinks I don't want to see her? Maybe she's forgotten about her telling me that she doesn't want to come over anymore?

Why waste your time calling the child?

How your child feels about this isn't legally significant, as regards the issue of her mother absconding with the child 1700 miles across the North American continent.

There is no need for you to second guess anything you've done, especially if a snotty teenager is whining about it.

The issue here is the behavior of the adult female claiming to be a mother.

She abducted the child by taking her from the state of Oregon without permission from the court issuing the custodial/support order.

If I were you, I'd have already approached my local PD and lodged a formal complaint.

The police know what to do, and will make sure the matter is properly addressed.

This isn't the time to reflect on your past behaviors, which I have no reason to believe were illegal.

Heck, you might want to say nothing, do nothing (except keep paying any court ordered child support) and focus on yourself for a change.

From my seat in the peanut gallery, you just might be better off because those two chose to abscond to parts unknown.

Sometimes the things we dread are blessings in disguise.

 

[petermg]

Heck, you might want to say nothing, do nothing (except keep paying any court ordered child support) and focus on yourself for a change.

From my seat in the peanut gallery, you just might be better off because those two chose to abscond to parts unknown.

Sometimes the things we dread are blessings in disguise.

I think there is a LOT of wisdom in this statement you made. Thank you! I have a call into the local PD. We'll see what they say. Your responses have been extremely encouraging and empowering.

 

[justblue]

I think there is a LOT of wisdom in this statement you made. Thank you! I have a call into the local PD. We'll see what they say. Your responses have been extremely encouraging and empowering.

Called the police for what? This is a civil issue and needs to be handled in family court.

 

[Red Kayak]

Called the police for what? This is a civil issue and needs to be handled in family court.

And not much of an issue.

Since it's been years since Dad has chosen to exercise parenting time, he has little grounds to demand kiddo move back to his state. Not even a basis to argue that Mom should foot the bill for travel to the nonexistent parenting time.

Yeah, it's reasonable for Dad to want an address, but Mom has not kidnapped the kid.

He has been following some really lousy advice.

 

[flyingron]

Sorry, Red. Parental rights don't go away just because parents decide for whatever reason not to exercise visitation. Your information is as bad as anybody else's in the thread.

The only clear thing is he needs to be talking to an attorney that specializes in these things, to determine what exactly the situation (is there an obligation not to move with or without notice to the state/father and then what to do next.

 

[Red Kayak]

Parental rights don't go away just because parents decide for whatever reason not to exercise visitation.

Parental rights don't "go away", but Dad's lack of involvement in his child's life means that if he goes to court and demands the child's state of residency remain in Oregon, he's playing a weak hand. It will come across as him trying to control his ex, rather than him trying to maintain a relationship with his daughter. Even if he requests that ex pays travel costs, it would not be unreasonable for the ex to request that she only reimburse the travel costs.

There are options he has, if he genuinely wants to be active in his daughter's life. I haven't gotten the feeling that he's particularly interested.

Therapy for him and his child would have made more sense than following the "activist"'s advice.

 

[army judge]

Domestic relations matters, child custody issues, child support, and all such "family" related concerns were illustrative enough for me to never accept any family law related cases at my law firm.

I assisted an air force member 15 years ago with getting a divorce in Texas.
She was referred to me by a member of the clergy, and we did the work pro bono.
Her former husband, also an air force member, had beaten her mercilessly, and left her for dead.
If not for a wellness check requested by her mother, she might very well be dead today.

The point I am meandering towards is that these matters are extremely contentious.

There is no simple answer, just copious amounts of blame dispensed, along with scurrilous allegations.

I despise these cases so much, that I'd rather try felony criminal cases over them.

 

[Paddywakk]

As title says, the custodial parent (mom), moved out of state, from Oregon to Ohio, did not notify the court nor myself and will not return my calls.
I spoke with a lawyer and he told me that without getting her address I have zero recourse. He suggested hiring a PI.
Is that my only option?
Can a custodial parent really move out of state and if their address is not known by the court or other parent they do this with zero consequences?
Just want to confirm, as I've never heard of such a thing before.
Also if not, what would my other options be? Can I still file something with the court even though I don't know her address that would go into effect once she is found?
Like maybe an order for her to move back or change of custody, etc.? I'm not sure what my options are - if any in the court at this point without her address?
Thanks.

You might try, at little cost to you, is sending her a letter to her old address with FORWARDING ADDRESS REQUESTED written on the envelope.

 

[flyingron]

You might try, at little cost to you, is sending her a letter to her old address with FORWARDING ADDRESS REQUESTED written on the envelope.

Or, if a little time has passed do some non-trivial searches (you may have to pay someone who knows how) to look things up. Unless people take extraordinary means to hide their privacy chances are they've leaked their address into the system whether it be due to a new drivers license, updating cell phone billing, etc...