Are you saying someone else has been appointed your legal guardian? That is the only way you would not have total control. That is not granted lightly at all. If guardianship is granted by the court and you feel it should not be, then you need to petition the court to have it revoked. The least of your problems is that your boyfriend sold your car a decade ago. If you are staying at a nursing home, they should have some kind of transportation for residents to go to the bank and such. Most residents do not drive.
Common Law Marriage/Alimony?
- Thread Starter ShaniaFan
- Start date
No. My family has always been controlling over me since I was younger. If they knew that I was going to do anything with the Joint Account they would tell my ex, even though it is a JOINT Account, my family wouldn't care. They would say it is HIS and I don't deserve any of it. My Dad even tried to get me to give my engagement ring back to my ex! That's how my family is. I can't do anything about how they are.
So I either have to wait for my friend to bring me or try to do it online. My friend said I should take all of the money out of the account. She's mad at my ex. How my family should be too - mad at my ex for hurting me - but my family is on the side of my ex. I even got screamed at by one of my brothers in a restaurant about how I am a liar and my ex was nothing but good to me. None of them were there with us at the house so how would they know how my ex treated me? My ex is perfect and I'm a liar. That's how my family sees it. They also think I'm crazy, why else would they have had me committed to the hospital? My friend was mad about that too. She's upset and mad at my family and my ex.
That's why you don't tell anyone in your family that you are going to do anything with the joint account. If they aren't with you every minute of every day, they aren't going to know what you're doing, and thus can't tell your ex what's up. True, you can't do anything about how they are, but you CAN do something about how you are, and as an adult who apparently isn't under guardianship and apparently not locked up anywhere, I don't see how they can stop you from going about your daily business just by being "controlling". As an adult, it's up to you to break free of their control and get on with your own life. I don't know how old you are, but if you were in a relationship with your ex for 16 years then clearly you are not a child. They can only control you as much as you allow yourself to be controlled.
Even if you don't own a car, it seems like there should be some way for you to get to the bank outside of relying on your friend for a ride. How do you get anywhere else? You mentioned your brother yelling at you in a restaurant so you must have had some way to get to the restaurant. I don't drive but I manage to get everywhere I need to go by using public transportation or walking.
Even if you don't own a car, it seems like there should be some way for you to get to the bank outside of relying on your friend for a ride. How do you get anywhere else? You mentioned your brother yelling at you in a restaurant so you must have had some way to get to the restaurant. I don't drive but I manage to get everywhere I need to go by using public transportation or walking.
I'm not planning on telling them. LOL
I don't think it's fair either... but what he did to me wasn't fair. We had a Savings Account with (he said) about/over $20,000 saving for a baby, he even called the it "The BABY Account" but then he tells my Dad there was no such account? That money would help me get out of these Nursing Home places and get my own place. WTH is he doing with that money (from the savings account)? He has a job and makes good money himself. ALSO his parents would give him anything he needs. He doesn't need that money!
it was a family thing and my Dad picked me up.
My Dad is in contact with my ex because he still has some of my stuff. I have not talked to my ex since my brother broke up with me in March 2014. (He couldn't do it himself, so he had MY brother do it for him - who does that??). I don't want to talk to him, it will just make me mad. I guess I could email him - I still have his email address.
I don't know, but if I had a family like yours, I think I would be distancing myself from them completely. I don't know why you would subject yourself to people, family or not, who don't seem to like you very much, or trust you enough to believe you, or yell at you in public at a family gathering. Personally, I try to avoid hanging out with people who make me feel like crap (and that includes family).
So you are taking the word of these family members who don't like you? Who does that? Why would your first call not be to your fiancé? Why would you wait more than a year to even attempt to get your stuff back or try to access the account?
At this point your ex may not still have the accounts he once had, especially if one was specifically for a purpose which is no longer necessary. Legally, you both have access to the money, if the accounts are still joint and have money in them. As you were not married, he does not owe you any amount of it. It sounds like he was fully supporting you if you only made $100 a week. He obviously could do that but it does not obligate him to continue to support you after you broke up. Whether or not he "needs" the money, it sounds like it was mostly his contributions. You are only entitled to access if your name is still on the accounts.
Whether you keep the ring or not is up to you. Many would give it back if the relationship failed. Others choose not to do so.
At this point your ex may not still have the accounts he once had, especially if one was specifically for a purpose which is no longer necessary. Legally, you both have access to the money, if the accounts are still joint and have money in them. As you were not married, he does not owe you any amount of it. It sounds like he was fully supporting you if you only made $100 a week. He obviously could do that but it does not obligate him to continue to support you after you broke up. Whether or not he "needs" the money, it sounds like it was mostly his contributions. You are only entitled to access if your name is still on the accounts.
Whether you keep the ring or not is up to you. Many would give it back if the relationship failed. Others choose not to do so.
Betty3
Well-Known Member
Do you know for sure there is a joint savings account? Do you know where it is? (what bank for example) How much do you know about this account in order to get access to it?
I have been trying since the breakup, I just got internet access at this new place. From March 2014 to March 2015 there was no way to get access to the bank account. If I lived in my own place I don't care if I ever see my family again, but I am stuck with them when I am in these places. I never saw them when I was with my ex, now they are all I got for right now. Believe me, I hate it. I don't see or talk to my brother who yelled at me, I am done with him. Basically it's just my sister and my Dad. (I have 1 sister and 3 brothers. My Mom died in 2004, I believe if she were still alive my family would not be treating me like this.)
The account is still open, I know that because my friend brought me to the bank when I was living at the Nursing Home. I had no place to put the money while living there though so we were going to go back or the lady said I could do it online too. My friend also brought me to a Pawn Shop to sell my engagement ring.
We had opened the Savings Account to save up for an adoption. He said he called it BABY. My ex told me it was a Savings Account online. I asked my Dad to ask him about it. My ex told my Dad that there was no such account, he said it was his 401K. My Dad asked me "Why would he lie?" Why would I - your own daughter - lie?? I'm sick of all this... I hate my life. I'm stuck here because I don't have the money to live on my own. My own family won't help me. My Dad (and Mom at that time she was still alive) let one of my brothers go back to live with them when he got divorced. The brother who yelled at me told people that my Dad wouldn't be safe living with me so I was committed to the hospital. He has made me so mad, him telling all these lies about me. But who would believe me, I was "crazy". My friend is the only person on my side. She believes me and is mad at my family for treating me like this. She knows I wouldn't lie. That brother hasn't lived with me for many years, how would he know me? It makes me so mad that my family is on my ex's side.
I know this doesn't sound real, but it really is. I really have this crappy of a family.
So you already know how to access the account and have means to do so. So why 3 pages of questions about whether or not you can do this? It also makes no sense that you would go to the bank, have access to the money, but just leave because you don't want to carry around the cash. You were at a bank. Open a new account. Or at least get your story straight.
Contrary to what you have stated here, no mental health facility is going to keep you for a year because of unfounded allegations by your brother. There is a heck of a lot you are leaving out. Even a nursing home would either have to be paid for (and they are not cheap) or covered by insurance and no insurance will pay for a healthy person to use it as a glorified hotel.
Contrary to what you have stated here, no mental health facility is going to keep you for a year because of unfounded allegations by your brother. There is a heck of a lot you are leaving out. Even a nursing home would either have to be paid for (and they are not cheap) or covered by insurance and no insurance will pay for a healthy person to use it as a glorified hotel.
Betty3
Well-Known Member
You note you have no money to get a place of your own. Are you able to work? Can you get a job & then a place of your own?
As Elle noted; if there is a joint bank account with money in it, take some out & put it in an account of your own.
As Elle noted; if there is a joint bank account with money in it, take some out & put it in an account of your own.
the State and Insurance was paying for me to stay there. This is the 3rd place I have been at, I wasn't at one place for a whole year, just a few months at each place. I wasn't able to get my own Account because I can only have a certain amount of money or the State will stop paying. I am on SSI, I have a CADI waiver to help pay for rent and only certain places take the CADI waiver (like Nursing Homes).
I don't really understand everything, it's kind of confusing. I need something like Section 8 to be able to live in my own place. Money is the problem - I need it for a place, but I can't have to much money in my account or the State will take it and stop my SSI.
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