Common Law Marriage/Alimony?

S

ShaniaFan

New Member
My story is kind of complicated, I'll explain the best I can...

I was with my ex for 16 years, we lived together for 12. We became engaged in December 2013.
He put me in the hospital (the "crazy ward") in March 2014. 2 days later I was supposed to be discharged because there is nothing wrong with me and I didn't belong there. I call my Dad and he tells me that my ex didn't want me back at the house.
He then broke up with me (through my brother because he couldn't do it himself apparently) and basically made me homeless and penniless that day. I was forced to stay in the hospital since I had nowhere else to go. Then I was made to live at a 90 day treatment place, then at Nursing Homes since I had nowhere else to go with no money and being homeless.

We had a Joint Bank Account, and he also had his own. He worked at a bank for good money and I did babysitting in our home for only $100 a week. We also had a Savings Account that had a good amount of money in. (I asked my Dad to ask my ex about the Savings Account and he told my Dad that there was no such account!) My ex also sold my car and his truck to buy a brand new car that I never got to drive.

My family and caseworker tell me that my ex does not owe me a thing. My therapist and best friend both say that my ex DOES owe me something since we had been together 16 years and shared a Joint Bank Account and Savings Account.

So, my question is: Does my ex owe me anything?
 
It was way back in 1941 when the State of Minnesota abolished Common Law Marriages.

What does that mean?

Why it means that Common Law Marriages in Minnesota have held NO legal significance for the last 74 years and counting!!!!

MN is bound to honor "common law" marriages formed in the few states where they still exist (one of which is Texas).

Even here in Texas, a couple must do more than live "open and notoriously" as wife and husband to have a state recognized "common law" marriage.

Your "former boyfriend", the law in Minnesota doesn't consider him to have even been your husband, owes you nothing!!!

Your caseworker is well intentioned, I'm sure, but she or he isn't a lawyer.

I'm a lawyer, and only offer opinions about teh behavior of people as speculation and conjecture, not as a psychologist, or a social worker might dispense.

You should seek legal advice from a licensed lawyer, not a licensed plumber.

I wish you well, madam.
 
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You say he sold your car. Was the title in your name? Did you sign it over, giving him permission to sell it?
 
txls said:
You say he sold your car. Was the title in your name? Did you sign it over, giving him permission to sell it?
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Yes, it was in my name. I don't think I signed it over to him? I don't remember signing any papers. (this happened over 10 years ago).

We had a Joint Bank Account - that doesn't mean anything in terms of him owing me anything? Even when my money was in that account? He gets to leave me homeless AND take my money? It's a JOINT Account! My name is on that account too. It still is.
 
If the vehicle title was in your name and you did not sign it over then you could sue him for that. Does the joint account require both signatures on withdrawals?
If you have the authority to make a withdrawal on just your signature, who is stopping you from doing so?

As far as what he owes you there's a difference between what's legally owed and what's morally "owed." If you put your money into the savings account, sure he should give it to you. Proving what is yours and what is his, is the problem. And if the savings account is in his name only, then you "gave" it to him to put in HIS account. You would have to appeal to his better nature and his moral compass to get what you believe he "owes" you, but it doesn't sound like you will have much luck there.
 
txls said:
If the vehicle title was in your name and you did not sign it over then you could sue him for that. Does the joint account require both signatures on withdrawals? If you have the authority to make a withdrawal on just your signature, who is stopping you from doing so?

As far as what he owes you there's a difference between what's legally owed and what's morally "owed." If you put your money into the savings account, sure he should give it to you. Proving what is yours and what is his, is the problem. And if the savings account is in his name only, then you "gave" it to him to put in HIS account. You would have to appeal to his better nature and his moral compass to get what you believe he "owes" you, but it doesn't sound like you will have much luck there.
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Ironically, it's my own family who is keeping me from my stuff. They are on my ex's side (even though he was abusive to me, my family doesn't believe me, they liked him and don't believe anything bad about him, they believe I am the one who is lying). My Dad even told me that I should give my engagement ring back to my ex! THAT was one thing I wasn't giving up.
 
It is unclear why you did not go with friends or family or even return to the home until you could find another place. I know of no residential treatment facilities or nursing homes who will take a perfectly healthy person as an alternative to homelessness. If you were never self-supporting, you need to look for a job in order to become so. He has no duty to continue to support you financially. If your name is on the bank account it is unclear how it is you can not access the money in it. Go to the bank and make a withdraw.
 
Most joint bank accounts don't require both signers' signatures to make a withdrawal, so I have to agree with the others who asked what was stopping you from taking money from the joint account if your name is still on the account. If the account is still open and has money in it, and your name/signature is still on the account, then you should have access to the funds. Once the funds go into a joint bank account, regardless of who deposited them there, they are available to whoever is a signer on the account.
 
The car was sold 10 years ago? If so, it is far too late to do anything about that and it is unclear why it is an issue now.
 
ElleMD said:
It is unclear why you did not go with friends or family or even return to the home until you could find another place. I know of no residential treatment facilities or nursing homes who will take a perfectly healthy person as an alternative to homelessness. If you were never self-supporting, you need to look for a job in order to become so. He has no duty to continue to support you financially. If your name is on the bank account it is unclear how it is you can not access the money in it. Go to the bank and make a withdraw.
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Nobody in my family wanted me with them, and my ex didn't want me at the house (my Dad told me this). They had me committed so I would be the States problem. That's why I was put in those places. I did mention my story was complicated. :(
 
cynthiag said:
Most joint bank accounts don't require both signers' signatures to make a withdrawal, so I have to agree with the others who asked what was stopping you from taking money from the joint account if your name is still on the account. If the account is still open and has money in it, and your name/signature is still on the account, then you should have access to the funds. Once the funds go into a joint bank account, regardless of who deposited them there, they are available to whoever is a signer on the account.
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It's my family. They don't believe I should get any of the money even though some of it is mine (in the Joint Account). I know it sounds crazy. I have no say in my own life, my family is running everything. I was hoping I could do SOMETHING, so I have been searching online and found this website. I was hoping to get answers for myself without my family knowing any of this.
 
Can you go on your own & get money out of the joint account? If not, why not?
 
How family you do not live with and who want nothing to do with you have zero impact on your ability to access your own bank account. It sounds like they aren't "running" anything as they aren't interested in taking you in or assisting you. If you are over 18, not incarcerated and not under the state's protection as a danger to yourself or others, you have total control over your own life.
 
ShaniaFan said:
It's my family. They don't believe I should get any of the money even though some of it is mine (in the Joint Account). I know it sounds crazy. I have no say in my own life, my family is running everything. I was hoping I could do SOMETHING, so I have been searching online and found this website. I was hoping to get answers for myself without my family knowing any of this.
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I think what we are all trying to say here is that, even though your family may not believe you should get any of the money, unless they are in some way physically restraining you from taking money out of that joint account, you should be able to go in to the bank, make a withdrawal, write a check, or use a debit or ATM card to get money from the account. Anyone who is an accountholder/signer on a joint account should be able to use the funds in that account. As long as you are still a signer on the account, the bank should allow you to take the money out.
 
Betty3 said:
Can you go on your own & get money out of the joint account? If not, why not?
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I don't have transportation. My friend could take me there but she lives in Wisconsin, she comes around my area once in awhile for work and then she would come here. She is the only one I can do any of this with, the only one who believes in me. My family doesn't.
 
Well sweetie you're going to have to find a way to get to the bank, and get there before he decides to clean out the account. Public transportation perhaps? Nobody is going to just bring you money.
 
ElleMD said:
How family you do not live with and who want nothing to do with you have zero impact on your ability to access your own bank account. It sounds like they aren't "running" anything as they aren't interested in taking you in or assisting you. If you are over 18, not incarcerated and not under the state's protection as a danger to yourself or others, you have total control over your own life.
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I know it doesn't make any sense. If I had control over my life, I wouldn't be where I am right now. It's my family and County Caseworker that are in control of everything. They won't allow me to live by myself because of things/lies my brother told the County/State. My friend doesn't understand why my family is treating me like this either. I did say my life is complicated and doesn't make any sense. I hate it. I was hoping
to figure out what I can do.
 
txls said:
Well sweetie you're going to have to find a way to get to the bank, and get there before he decides to clean out the account. Public transportation perhaps? Nobody is going to just bring you money.
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I'm trying to figure it out online. Online banking..
 
Same here - the best of luck to you.
 

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