Child support, international, Canada & USA

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White Knight

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Michigan
Please help me with the international case

I'm a Canadian dealing with child support case from an American mother. Baby not born yet, due in a month. We're not married. Both of us in mid 40s. It was a 2 months friendship and it took one intimate moment to fall into this. I got mislead into this trap. She was going to have a child medically or through adoption, because of her medical condition. Told me before hand. I told her I didn't want to father no children. I already have a child and I'm living with the mother in Canada. I'm maintaining a respectful communication (just text) with this woman to avoid drama. Now, she's coming after me for child support because she knows it'll be hard for me to get involved with the baby due to distance and nature of my work. The way she wants it. She just wants a financial supporter. The family law of her State says that I have no way out of this even if I dissolve my parental right. I'm willing to provide child support, but I don't want to pay large amount just because I happened to work hard and long hours for my earnings. I don't want get involved with her because I know she'll make my personal life and my relationship with this child miserable if I continue with her. She's very difficult and very bitter and disrespectful towards men. We had originally agreed to draft an agreement to make things simple and drama free, but she's getting her lawyer involved and wants the full 20% income based support. Her lawyer asked me to fill out the "intake form" which it consists of every single personal question you can think of. Do I have to fill it out? I have yet to sign any papers (birth cert, paternity test) because I still question how she got pregnant. Since she's going through the court, should I let her CS agency reach out to me in Canada?. She only knows that I live in Canada and who I work for and nothing else. This way it'll buy me time because reached out to me 2 months before due date. Also it will be more structured if my government gets involved instead of getting ganged up by her lawyer, their law and her government. I'm willing to support the child but not her ego and selfish ways. Is it safe to do it this way or will there be big penalties and get arrested? This is an international case. Thank you!
 
Soomood said:
...I still question how she got pregnant.
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I was with you right up to this point. You can't be serious. You KNOW how she got pregnant.

With that said - until the baby is born, there is no child support, paternity, rights, etc. Once the baby is born, do NOT sign any acknowledgment of paternity. Demand a DNA test. Once it is scientifically proven that you are the father, step up to the plate and support your child.
 
Nothing can be done until baby is born. When baby is born and you receive paperwork, you will want to have a DNA test to determine paternity. This will need to be done via the court so their chain of custody rules can be observed and the test admissible in court.
 
Soomood said:
Please help me with the international case

I'm a Canadian dealing with child support case from an American mother. Baby not born yet, due in a month. We're not married. Both of us in mid 40s. It was a 2 months friendship and it took one intimate moment to fall into this. I got mislead into this trap. She was going to have a child medically or through adoption, because of her medical condition. Told me before hand. I told her I didn't want to father no children. I already have a child and I'm living with the mother in Canada. I'm maintaining a respectful communication (just text) with this woman to avoid drama. Now, she's coming after me for child support because she knows it'll be hard for me to get involved with the baby due to distance and nature of my work. The way she wants it. She just wants a financial supporter. The family law of her State says that I have no way out of this even if I dissolve my parental right. I'm willing to provide child support, but I don't want to pay large amount just because I happened to work hard and long hours for my earnings. I don't want get involved with her because I know she'll make my personal life and my relationship with this child miserable if I continue with her. She's very difficult and very bitter and disrespectful towards men. We had originally agreed to draft an agreement to make things simple and drama free, but she's getting her lawyer involved and wants the full 20% income based support. Her lawyer asked me to fill out the "intake form" which it consists of every single personal question you can think of. Do I have to fill it out? I have yet to sign any papers (birth cert, paternity test) because I still question how she got pregnant. Since she's going through the court, should I let her CS agency reach out to me in Canada?. She only knows that I live in Canada and who I work for and nothing else. This way it'll buy me time because reached out to me 2 months before due date. Also it will be more structured if my government gets involved instead of getting ganged up by her lawyer, their law and her government. I'm willing to support the child but not her ego and selfish ways. Is it safe to do it this way or will there be big penalties and get arrested? This is an international case. Thank you!
Click to expand...
I gotta say, your post gave me a big chuckle ...which is not easy to do at 6:30 in the morning.

Demand a DNA test ...do not ignore this process or you will be found to be Daddy by default. MiChildSupport Unauthorized



If or when you are found to be the father of the child it is up to you if you want visitation.
 
One other thing I'd like to say. Stop talking down about the mother of your child. Everything you've said about her actually seems to be your own characteristics shining brightly.
 
Zigner said:
I was with you right up to this point. You can't be serious. You KNOW how she got pregnant.
Click to expand...

I did not want to get into the details of how I think she got pregnant because at the end the court won't even bother listing to me if I have solid proof that she found tricky ways to get pregnant. there isn't any court in this earth that will listen to a man's case when it comes to questioning a pregnancy regardless whether it's yours or not.
 
Soomood said:
I did not want to get into the details of how I think she got pregnant because at the end the court won't even bother listing to me if I have solid proof that she found tricky ways to get pregnant. there isn't any court in this earth that will listen to a man's case when it comes to questioning a pregnancy regardless whether it's yours or not.
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What? Your post doesn't make any sense. The DNA test will prove whether it's your child or not. If it's not your child, then you get to go on your merry way.
 
Soomood said:
I did not want to get into the details of how I think she got pregnant because at the end the court won't even bother listing to me if I have solid proof that she found tricky ways to get pregnant. there isn't any court in this earth that will listen to a man's case when it comes to questioning a pregnancy regardless whether it's yours or not.
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Yeah, yeah...she took the sperm out of the used condom. Wiley woman.
 
Zigner said:
One other thing I'd like to say. Stop talking down about the mother of your child. Everything you've said about her actually seems to be your own characteristics shining brightly.
Click to expand...

You're too focused on what I said about her than the main issue or questions. I'm not taking down about her. I'm justifying why I'm thinking about her this way and wanting to take care of this case differently and reaching out for advice NOT criticism.
 
Soomood said:
You're too focused on what I said about her than the main issue or questions. I'm not taking down about her. I'm justifying why I'm thinking about her this way and wanting to take care of this case differently and reaching out for advice NOT criticism.
Click to expand...
There is no "taking care of this case differently". Only legally per the guidelines of the state of Michigan. I gave you the link. You're Welcome.
 
"It was a 2 months friendship and it took one intimate moment to fall into this. I got mislead into this trap. She was going to have a child medically or through adoption, because of her medical condition. Told me before hand."

Umm, not sure how she mislead/trapped you if you knew this beforehand but still chose to be intimate with her.

In the end, seek the DNA test and then IF you are the father, work through the courts on Child Support. The rest of the details are pretty meaningless.
 
Soomood said:
Please help me with the international case

I'm a Canadian dealing with child support case from an American mother. Baby not born yet, due in a month. We're not married. Both of us in mid 40s. It was a 2 months friendship and it took one intimate moment to fall into this. I got mislead into this trap. She was going to have a child medically or through adoption, because of her medical condition. Told me before hand. I told her I didn't want to father no children. I already have a child and I'm living with the mother in Canada. I'm maintaining a respectful communication (just text) with this woman to avoid drama.
Click to expand...

Until the child is born, there is no baby. No child = no child support.

Soomood said:
Now, she's coming after me for child support because she knows it'll be hard for me to get involved with the baby due to distance and nature of my work. The way she wants it. She just wants a financial supporter. The family law of her State says that I have no way out of this even if I dissolve my parental right. I'm willing to provide child support, but I don't want to pay large amount just because I happened to work hard and long hours for my earnings. I don't want get involved with her because I know she'll make my personal life and my relationship with this child miserable if I continue with her. She's very difficult and very bitter and disrespectful towards men. We had originally agreed to draft an agreement to make things simple and drama free, but she's getting her lawyer involved and wants the full 20% income based support. Her lawyer asked me to fill out the "intake form" which it consists of every single personal question you can think of. Do I have to fill it out? I have yet to sign any papers (birth cert, paternity test) because I still question how she got pregnant. Since she's going through the court, should I let her CS agency reach out to me in Canada?. She only knows that I live in Canada and who I work for and nothing else. This way it'll buy me time because reached out to me 2 months before due date. Also it will be more structured if my government gets involved instead of getting ganged up by her lawyer, their law and her government. I'm willing to support the child but not her ego and selfish ways. Is it safe to do it this way or will there be big penalties and get arrested? This is an international case. Thank you!
Click to expand...

Why would you sign anything?!

The baby has not been born yet, so there is no birth certificate.

If she really has a lawyer, and is really going through the court, then respond through the court. And your first response should be that you are demanding a paternity test through the court to establish paternity before answering any "intake form" questions. ​
 
justblue said:
There is no "taking care of this case differently". Only legally per the guidelines of the state of Michigan. I gave you the link. You're Welcome.
Click to expand...
Red Kayak said:
Until the child is born, there is no baby. No child = no child support.



Why would you sign anything?!

The baby has not been born yet, so there is no birth certificate.

If she really has a lawyer, and is really going through the court, then respond through the court. And your first response should be that you are demanding a paternity test through the court to establish paternity before answering any "intake form" questions. ​
Click to expand...


Thanks for the responses. I'm aware of what needs to be done regarding paternity (DNA & birth certificate). Of course I will not sign anything before the baby is born. I was looking for answers on how will both government handle this case due to currency differences (CAD to USD), standard of living and child from first relationship.
 
Soomood said:
Thanks for the responses. I'm aware of what needs to be done regarding paternity (DNA & birth certificate). Of course I will not sign anything before the baby is born. I was looking for answers on how will both government handle this case due to currency differences (CAD to USD), standard of living and child from first relationship.
Click to expand...
So have you told your wife yet?
 
Soomood said:
I did not want to get into the details of how I think she got pregnant because at the end the court won't even bother listing to me if I have solid proof that she found tricky ways to get pregnant. there isn't any court in this earth that will listen to a man's case when it comes to questioning a pregnancy regardless whether it's yours or not.
Click to expand...


Only genetic testing can PROVE who fathered a child.

The mother is easy to establish.

The ALLEGED father, if he's smart, will cease communicating with the woman.

Don't be stupid and allow yourself to type things that COULD implicate you as having done something if only you had resisted the urge to type or jabber.

In the future, restrain your animalistic urges to copulate.

No 15 or 60 second, even 60 minute pony ride is worth a penny of my hard earned money, especially if I'm married to or involved with another woman.

Be smart, be human, not a wild mammal in heat, lust, or rut!
 
Soomood said:
Schadenfreude. You're indulging yourself in this practice. If this is why you signed up here for then it's very sad.
Click to expand...


Blame yourself, mate, you outed yourself the way with your base, animalistic impulses that lead you to participate in copulation for pleasure; where you should have said, NO thanks, I'm taken.

Protect your legacy and your semen.

Protect yourself from contracting dreaded sexually, transmitted diseases by restraining yourself.

Every man must have a code by which he lives.
 
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