Child support enforcement

[JDB9600]

I have an open case with DCSE in Va. My non custodial parent is ordered to pay a set amount each month. DCSE has not been withholding his wages. My case manager told me. They decided it would be best or better if he just pays on his own. I have asked for help from DCSE. I also filed my own show cause on him. The judge did not find him guilty, because by the time we got a court date he was current. He owes 48,000.00 in arrears. The judge did advice DCSE to income withhold. They will not follow through. My case manager told me I get more money if he pays on his own. I told her that's not her decision to make. It doesn't matter if I only get $40 out of his 2 checks. At least I know when the money is coming. He's responsible by court order to pay the set amount. He will have to pay the difference. I can not depend on him to pay me on time. I can not pay my bills this way. I just want something to make him accountable. Pay me at the first or a set date of the month. No one will help me make this man accountable. I was told the only thing I can do is file a show cause again. Can he be served at his job? I'm not sure what address he lives at. We do not have any contact. If there is any advice you could give, I would be grateful. Also he never filed taxes and has no bank acct. thank you

 

[army judge]

The system doesn't care, as you have recently discovered.

The deadbeat NEVER cared, and won't care.

I'm afraid you're on your own, madam.

My advice would be to plan on taking care of the children by yourself for the rest of their lives as children.

Whatever you do, don't get married and have more children.

You can hire an attorney and have him or her attempt to have the deadbeat held accountable.

However, the deadbeat has become very clever and conniving.

The deadbeat has gone under the table, working off the record.

There's no trail for anyone to gather any of his crumbs.

Even if he is hauled before a judge, given a tongue lashing, locked up 30 or 60 days, that gets you no money.

It can get you a chuckle or two as they haul the deadbeat off in that orange jumpsuit.

But, in four or eight short weeks, after his vacation (as a civil commitment in jail, he gets treated much better than a criminal defendant, I assure you), he's back at his undercover job.

You can keep letting his meter run, keep tickling him with court appearances (just in case he ever hits the lottery or gets a windfall) and maybe one day you'll get a little sumpin sumpin.

Bottom line today, you've seen the best it'll ever be.

 

[ElleMD]

Unless he was ordered to pay an extremely high amount of CS, if he is $48K in arrears you have let this go for far too long. What a judge ordered many years ago when he didn't owe $48K is irrelevant. Sounds like last time you filed for non-payment, he brought it up current. I suggest doing that again. Why wouldn't you? Generally it is better to just have the parents handle the payment themselves. If that isn't possible, then you need to go another route. Of course if he can't be found, doesn't work, and you have had no contact in years you have bigger problems. How would you know if he pays taxes or has a bank account? Neither the IRS nor banks are in the habit of sharing financial information with exes.

 

[shrinkmaster]

I know its frustrating who still owes me a lot more than the 48 grand you seek. She only paid me $50.00 twice then found ways (like your EX) to manipulate things where she doesn't pay. My wife (now) and I have raised these three as well as one she had (no help there either) and one we had for over 14 years now. We learned long ago to not focus on the dead beat EXs and just raise our children the best we can and not let anger cloud our thinking. We did a fine job (see below)

24 year old son off on his own with a child himself
20 year old daughter (still at home) in 2nd year of College and on Dean's list was in top ten of her class leaving High School
18 year old daughter ( wife's child before we met) in Freshman year of College seeking to be Medical Examiner Honor roll all through high school
18 year old son (3rd of three I had with my EX) Senior in High School in top 15% of his class looking forward to College also honor roll all through high school
13 year old son (Ours together all though there are no step issue sin our home) first year of Middle school doing well on and off Honor roll all through grammar school doing well right now A's and B's nothing less

We focused on family not missing uninvolved Moms or Dad's I am Dad to all five and my wife Mom to all five. Each is the others sibling and we are a family. It was very rough had to get assistance from state at times but look where we are now. Their futures look bright. Yes its rough without help but don't get obsessed with this focus on you and your children seek help where ever you can there is a rainbow at the end of this journey if you do the right thing. Its not about deadbeat Moms or Dads or their lack of involvement its getting past that to parent your children so they become all they can be. If you let anger get in your way its your children who lose

 

[shrinkmaster]

Here is another story (long read) of a man who went through a long struggle to get his child but as you can read story has happy ending. It again shows how when you put child first good things happen http://www.parentnook.com/forum/viewtopic.php?f=151&t=4997