Child support and visitation

[danielle]

I left my ex husband four years ago I took him only for child support, he couldn't afford for me to take him for child care also. I left because he was abusive physically and abused alcohol, it took me a while till I left he hit my oldest who was one at the time while she was strapped in a high chair across the face that was my push to walk out the door. I didn't take him to court he was a corrections officer at the time and I knew if I put his job in jeopardy with the abuse I could have lost out on financial support for the kids so I simply left to my dads with nothing but the kids and the car. We did counseling he admitted to the abuse but then said all the counselor did was stick up for me and he wanted a different one so I filled for divorce he was never going to change. Now here is the issue 4 years later he has been living in our home we bought during our marriage not paying the mortgage that had both our names on it and now has also stopped paying child support. He was told to resign from his corrections officer job because he beat a inmate up. He has had 7 different jobs no secure medical for the kids and left me with a unpaid bill from our daughter eye dr she was a detaching retina and cataract this all in a period of 3 mths. Thankfully I'm remarried to a wonderful military man who has pretty much raised this mans two little girls and our own current child has took over the medical for the girls and is paying for the youngest nursery school and left me stay home to take care of the kids because we don't have child care or family around to baby sit. He is providing a home for us food heat you name it he's doing it. My question at the end of all of this is what do I do? Domestics is taking my ex to court for not paying but is there anything I can do can I fight to have my kids to just us? I have already walked in on this man hung over on the couch when he was supposed to have his kids and he pushed them off on his mom which she confirmed everything for me he only takes them every other weekend sat afternoon to Sunday night wants them another weekend but I said no bc I'm doing all the work as a mother during the week school work baths prayer cooking laundry ect and weekends with them are our chance to have fun with them. Mind you we never went through a custody battle he gave me what I wanted so I wouldn't get him in trouble which is whatever I have my kids. But what can I do now can I fight for my kids should I just let domestics handle it what should I do someone please help

 

[Proserpina]

Nope.

Even if he doesn't pay child support, that doesn't remove his rights as the father and the State will let him be a lousy father for the most part.

Quick question though - because this will probably impact you way more than the kids' situation - the mortgage. Who is on the deed? Is it jointly owned?

 

[danielle]

The previous one we both are.. The new one just my current husband

 

[Proserpina]

Any chance of you buying him out of his share?

I know you originally asked about custody, but given that there's virtually nothing you can do about that at this point...there just may be something you can do about the mortgage on the property you jointly own with him.

 

[danielle]

I think its to late we already fot served papers for foreclosure just a bad situation if i could turn back and hammer him for everything he's done i would but i can't now....so much for trying to be the nice guy...

 

[army judge]

I think its to late we already fot served papers for foreclosure just a bad situation if i could turn back and hammer him for everything he's done i would but i can't now....so much for trying to be the nice guy...

Have you discussed bankruptcy with a BK attorney?

 

[danielle]

No i have not the house foreclosure doesbt bother me hope that doesn't sound stupid of me to say.... just the fact that this man has rights to these kids... i asked him the other day to let my husband adopt them and he said ok will the child support be dropped then and.will i still see them every other weekend he wants the best of both worlds when he was the one who messed their world up i just don't get it i dont get our system if a father doesn't pay takr them away if its possiable for the other parents to provide properly for the children

 

[Proserpina]

He has rights because you basically gave him rights.

You can't get a do-over for that one and the Constitution basically makes it unlawful to hold a parent's financial status against them. Even lack of child support.

 

[danielle]

Lesson learned I guess prayer and hope is what I will go on at this point keep a black book and any wrong step he makes for now on ill do something about instead of letting him get away with it