Child custody and visitation/child support

[Melissamonzon11]

Jurisdiction

New York

Hello,
Question about child custody. My fiancé hasn't seen his children from his previous marriage in about 4 years. His ex wife and him got a divorce last November but since he travels a lot for work he missed the custody trial. She has lived in New York this whole time and he in Arizona. We have tried to do everything possible to see if there is anything we can do so he can visit his children or have them for sometime here in Arizona but the Arizona Court told us since the children do not reside here they have no jurisdiction over them. We also tried to see if there was any possible way to lower the child support payment because we also have a child and another on the way and they told us that they had no control child support in another state even though his ex wife ask the State of Arizona for help to enforce child support and spousal maintenance. I need some guidance on what we can do at this point since full custody was granted to her and we are paying all of this money to her and for their children but we would like the children to have their father in their lives.

 

[KatDini]

Dad can contact an attorney in the jurisdiction where the children live to sort out the visitation. As far as CS is concerned, NY figures CS as a percentage of income. Dad's second family does not enter into the calculations. And 'we' can do nothing. Dad will have to take care of the legal problems.

CS is not a paid admission to see one's children.

 

[zddoodah]

Question about child custody.

1. Did the divorce take place in Arizona or New York?
2. Did your fiance move from New York to Arizona or did his ex move from Arizona to New York (or did each of them move to their current states of residence from some third, unidentified state)?
3. When the court granted the divorce, did it include an order giving your fiance visitation? If so, what does it say?
4. How many kids does he have with the ex?

I'll wait for answers to these questions before commenting further.

 

[Melissamonzon11]

Dad can contact an attorney in the jurisdiction where the children live to sort out the visitation. As far as CS is concerned, NY figures CS as a percentage of income. Dad's second family does not enter into the calculations. And 'we' can do nothing. Dad will have to take care of the legal problems.

CS is not a paid admission to see one's children.

I agree but I believe ALL CHILDREN need both parents.

 

[Melissamonzon11]

1. Did the divorce take place in Arizona or New York? The divorce took place in Arizona, his ex wife left more than 4 years ago to live in New York with the children.
2. Did your fiance move from New York to Arizona or did his ex move from Arizona to New York (or did each of them move to their current states of residence from some third, unidentified state)? He has remained in Arizona.
3. When the court granted the divorce, did it include an order giving your fiance visitation? If so, what does it say? When the divorce took place the judge said that it was a weird case and wasn't going to include the children that's he would have to go to the state of New York and fight it separately. They have no jurisdiction if children don't live in Arizona.
4. How many kids does he have with the ex?
He has 4 children with his ex wife.

I'll wait for answers to these questions before commenting further.

 

[Melissamonzon11]

I agree but I believe ALL CHILDREN need both parents.

And at first that was the case for his ex wife him not paying child support. She left and before they were even divorced she filed for child support.

 

[army judge]

And at first that was the case for his ex wife him not paying child support. She left and before they were even divorced she filed for child support.

None of that is relevant in any US state or territory.

Either spouse is free to leave the other spouse at anytime.

Either spouse is free to ask a court for spousal support and/or child support.

Once a request has been made by one spouse, the other spouse would be wise to respond to the court, and file an answer.

The case will be heard, and both sides get a chance to be heard.

Your "friend" chose not to attend the proceeding, which was not in his best interests.

If one chooses not to participate in a court proceeding adverse to his/her interests, one risks losing and having a verdict awarded to the other party.

A parent, male or female, is required to support his/her child(ren).

If a parent abandons his/her duty to support a child(ren), the burden falls upon the other parent and the taxpayers.

Your friend is FREE to HIRE an attorney in New York state which retains jurisdiction over the children and the child support obligation.

He and his attorney that he hires can discuss his options.

Even if you married your friend, you'd have no legal involvement in this matter.

This issue is EXCLUSIVELY between your friend and his former spouse.

 

[Melissamonzon11]

None of that is relevant in any US state or territory.

Either spouse is free to leave the other spouse at anytime.

Either spouse is free to ask a court for spousal support and/or child support.

Once a request has been made by one spouse, the other spouse would be wise to respond to the court, and file an answer.

The case will be heard, and both sides get a chance to be heard.

Your "friend" chose not to attend the proceeding, which was not in his best interests.

If one chooses not to participate in a court proceeding adverse to his/her interests, one risks losing and having a verdict awarded to the other party.

A parent, male or female, is required to support his/her child(ren).

If a parent abandons his/her duty to support a child(ren), the burden falls upon the other parent and the taxpayers.

Your friend is FREE to HIRE an attorney in New York state which retains jurisdiction over the children and the child support obligation.

He and his attorney that he hires can discuss his options.

Even if you married your friend, you'd have no legal involvement in this matter.

This issue is EXCLUSIVELY between your friend and his former spouse.

Thank you for that information.

 

[army judge]

Thank you for that information.

You're welcome, and I suggest you be very careful about commingling your money with someone to whom you aren't married.

You would do yourself a very great disservice to allow ANYONE to ensnare you into their financial obligations towards children produced with anyone but YOU.

As a boxing referee admonishes both contestants before the match, "Protect yourself at all times!"

 

[Melissamonzon11]

You're welcome, and I suggest you be very careful about commingling your money with someone to whom you aren't married.

You would do yourself a very great disservice to allow ANYONE to ensnare you into their financial obligations towards children produced with anyone but YOU.

As a boxing referee admonishes both contestants before the match, "Protect yourself at all times!"

Thank you, I've got that covered. I have my own assets aside for the same reason.

 

[army judge]

Thank you, I've got that covered. I have my own assets aside for the same reason.

Good for you.

Men too often try to snooker caring women into their diabolical schemes.

 

[zddoodah]

In any future posts, if you quote someone else's response, don't include your further comments within the quoted language. Doing that makes it really hard to follow the conversation.

It sounds to me like the Arizona court entered a divorce decree that only dissolved the marriage and didn't make any provisions for the children. It also sounds like mom obtained a child support order from a court in New York and that this order is being enforced in Arizona. If all that's correct, then he's going to need to hire a lawyer in New York to seek a visitation order.

As far as child support, with four kids already, it wasn't a very smart move for him to impregnate you in the first place, and to continue to do so is really not smart, but what's done is done, and he and you will have to deal with the financial consequences of his poor judgment. The chances of him getting his support obligation to his ex-wife reduced simply because he decided to have more and more kids isn't likely. Sorry.

 

[leslie82]

Hello,
Question about child custody. My fiancé hasn't seen his children from his previous marriage in about 4 years. His ex wife and him got a divorce last November but since he travels a lot for work he missed the custody trial. She has lived in New York this whole time and he in Arizona. We have tried to do everything possible to see if there is anything we can do so he can visit his children or have them for sometime here in Arizona but the Arizona Court told us since the children do not reside here they have no jurisdiction over them. We also tried to see if there was any possible way to lower the child support payment because we also have a child and another on the way and they told us that they had no control child support in another state even though his ex wife ask the State of Arizona for help to enforce child support and spousal maintenance. I need some guidance on what we can do at this point since full custody was granted to her and we are paying all of this money to her and for their children but we would like the children to have their father in their lives.

Why hasn't he attempted to see his children for four years? That's concerning. What happened with the divorce decree last November? There should have been some kind of custody arrangement made right? What does the court order for visitation state he gets? If the ex isn't following the order on visitation he can take her to court for contempt.

Has there been a change in his income? If not then he's not getting support lowered. Support and visitation are generally separate. He isn't paying child support to see his kids. I don't know why people think child support equates to visitation. That's not what it's for.

If he doesn't have a visitation schedule he probably should go to court and get one.

 

[leslie82]

I agree but I believe ALL CHILDREN need both parents.

No - there are kids who don't need both parents. There are some kids who are better off not having one of their parents around them. Some kids have shitty parent(s).

 

[leslie82]

And at first that was the case for his ex wife him not paying child support. She left and before they were even divorced she filed for child support.

The court filed child support for me before our divorce was final. It just didn't go into effect until a month after the decree was signed.

So wait did he not show up to any of the divorce proceedings? Was it a default decree? Sorry but that is HIS fault if he didn't show up. If people don't use the system they can't bitch about the system later.

 

[Melissamonzon11]

The court filed child support for me before our divorce was final. It just didn't go into effect until a month after the decree was signed.

So wait did he not show up to any of the divorce proceedings? Was it a default decree? Sorry but that is HIS fault if he didn't show up. If people don't use the system they can't bitch about the system later.

He owned a business before and he used to make good money he was paying support for his children then his business went under so what he was able to pay then he isn't able to pay now making now working for another company. Actually he wasn't able to even pay his bill or have food for himself. Which is not an excuse but he would try to contact his children via FaceTime or call and mother wouldn't let him or would say children were not available to speak to him. It was agreed upon NY State cost of living. He was out of the country at the time that his child custody case was schedule so they granted mother sole custody of all children. He wrote a letter to the judge to reschedule but still unfortunately went through with the process, the divorce decree left the children out because it took place in AZ and the children don't pertain to that jurisdiction and mother had filed it in NY before divorce took place.

It's a difficult case because there are other factors involved we hired an attorney here in the state of Arizona but everything still had to go back in forth to the state of NY. Which is why I posted on this website; I don't know NY at all never been but before he goes out and gets a lawyer I would like to be prepared for what he's up against there. I don't do it for him I do it for my children so they can meet their brothers and sisters.

There is a lot of factors that played part of why this case is so difficult but there isn't one single day that he doesn't think about his children. Some people are not the easiest to please even if you give them everything. I'm not saying my fiancé is a saint but I've dealt with this woman and she won't stop. Not only has she harassed me and my family; we get new lawsuits it seems everyday.

I would just like to get to a place where it's civil and the children are happy.

 

[army judge]

Court Ordered Visitation with one's child(ren) has nothing to do with court ordered child support, and vice versa.

Being poor isn't a crime, neither is losing a job, a business, or getting sick.

If you don't go to court, contact the court, or do nothing about a court case; you're surrendering your rights and money to the other party.

You'll get steamrolled, your money will be confiscated, and your life will be turned inside out.

Don't ignore anything to do with the legal process.

Ask somebody, don't ignore it.

Don't do stupid shit.

Doing stupid shit will haunt you until the day you die.

 

[Melissamonzon11]

Court Ordered Visitation with one's child(ren) has nothing to do with court ordered child support, and vice versa.

Being poor isn't a crime, neither is losing a job, a business, or getting sick.

If you don't go to court, contact the court, or do nothing about a court case; you're surrendering your rights and money to the other party.

You'll get steamrolled, your money will be confiscated, and your life will be turned inside out.

Don't ignore anything to do with the legal process.

Ask somebody, don't ignore it.

Don't do stupid shit.

Doing stupid shit will haunt you until the day you die.

That's is completely agreeable. Thank you again.

 

[army judge]

That's is completely agreeable. Thank you again.

You're welcome.

 

[leslie82]

He owned a business before and he used to make good money he was paying support for his children then his business went under so what he was able to pay then he isn't able to pay now making now working for another company. Actually he wasn't able to even pay his bill or have food for himself. Which is not an excuse but he would try to contact his children via FaceTime or call and mother wouldn't let him or would say children were not available to speak to him. It was agreed upon NY State cost of living. He was out of the country at the time that his child custody case was schedule so they granted mother sole custody of all children. He wrote a letter to the judge to reschedule but still unfortunately went through with the process, the divorce decree left the children out because it took place in AZ and the children don't pertain to that jurisdiction and mother had filed it in NY before divorce took place.

It's a difficult case because there are other factors involved we hired an attorney here in the state of Arizona but everything still had to go back in forth to the state of NY. Which is why I posted on this website; I don't know NY at all never been but before he goes out and gets a lawyer I would like to be prepared for what he's up against there. I don't do it for him I do it for my children so they can meet their brothers and sisters.

There is a lot of factors that played part of why this case is so difficult but there isn't one single day that he doesn't think about his children. Some people are not the easiest to please even if you give them everything. I'm not saying my fiancé is a saint but I've dealt with this woman and she won't stop. Not only has she harassed me and my family; we get new lawsuits it seems everyday.

I would just like to get to a place where it's civil and the children are happy.

All that was wrong. You do not write the judge a letter to reschedule a hearing. You know what probably happened to that letter? It probably never made it to the judge. He should have called the court clerk to reschedule so it is HIS fault that he ended up with a default decree. Bottom line.

It's not a difficult case at all. He screwed up to start with. Hopefully for him his lawyer can fix it.