Child abandonment?

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Heatherstoytime

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A former friend and I met in college. We used to have a good friendship but not so much anymore. She has a daughter and I used to have the daughter live with me in the summer starting at the age of 5. The summer the child turned 7 the mother decided that it would be best for the child remaine with my husband and myself. The mother was going through some hard times with the father of her 2 younger daughters. The mother is very unstable and thinks that working at burger king at the age of 30 is a good job. Anyway she cannot provide for any of the kids and lost custody of the youngest 2. She gets a few hours to visit one day a week and everyother weekend. I have had the oldest child solid for what will be 2 years in June 2008. I provide medical and all of her other needs. The mother did sign a paper that stated she was giving my husband and me temp custody because she knows its best for the child. It is not noterized. If she decided to show up one day to take her daughter back, can she? I have heard there is a law here in Minnesota that if you have a child for X amount of months you somehow gain custody anyway. Is this true? Just FYI the Bio father has nothing to do with this child and there is a 10 year restraining order against him so he couldnt be a part of her life even if he wanted to. Also, the mother gets a SSI check for the daughter because the father is disabled but never gives us any form of finances. I intend on reporting fraud to SSI. Is that the right thing to do? I am so looking forward to your advice!!
Heather
 
You do not automatically have custody. You need to go to court and file for it. A notorized document does not give you legal custody.

Mom is not commititng fraud by keeping the SS checks, because she is entitled to them. Unless you have formal custody, you will not get the SS benefit. Once you file you can ask for that.
 
How is the mother entitled to the SS checks. They are for the daughter and come in the daughters name. The parents were never married. If the Mother is not supporting the child why is she entitled to the money for the child?
 
Because you do not have legal custody of the child. Once you file and are awarded custody, then you should be able to receive the SS checks. It doesn't matter that her or Dad were not married, obviously paternity was established.
 
I spoke to the SS office and found out that it is considered fraud to receive SS benefits for a child not in your care. That just so happens to be exactly what the mother has been doing for the past 2 years.
 
Go to this web site http://www.mncourts.gov/district/1/?page=1802. This explains guardianship for your county and district court. Just because you ask for guardianship does not mean you will get it any more. This process will open a whole new situation for you and you need to prepare for a long fight. DHS will become involved. It would be better if you work it our with the mother first, rather than with the courts/DHS. I have been there, and it is not pleasant. Good luck.
 
Thank you, that was very helpful. I am just stuck, I don't want to get into thousands of dollars in atty fees and drag this out. I can file her on my tax return, I can medically insure her, feed, clothe and everything else but yet I cannot go to the court house and get her birth certificate or pass port that we need to go on vacation.
 
You would also need her mother and father signature on a form to allow her to travel out of the county. I had to do this also with my ex. You will not be allowed to go out of the county with her with out both signatures. Did you read the web site? Let me know if you have other questions.
 
I did read the website. There is a OFP on the father so he cannot have contact with the child until she is 13 and he wouldnt anyway. The court did say with the OFP we wouldnt need his signature but I do need the moms. She acts like its no big deal and wants her to travel but never seems to have the time to get together and get paper work done. I know the mom will sign any and all papers I need for the daughter. I had her sign the POA and a statement saying she feels its in the best interest in the child to be with us but its not noterized. That seems to be my road block.
 
The court is not the border potrol. You must have his signature. My son wanted to go to Canada, and his father was in prison, had not seen him for 10+ years, I have sole custody, and we had to have his notarized signature for him to travel. Call the border officers. This is a very tricky area because of 911. I am sure the courts who do not know what the border rules are, can not give you the right answers. Call someone in border control. You will be heart broken if you get their unprepared and can't go without her. An OFP is not the same as termination of rights. Unless his rights were teminated he has to sign as the father reguardless of the OFP.
 
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Check your states abandonment laws. If the person has failed to support and have visitation, in some states, rights can be terminated.
 
I am having a hard time finding Minnesota's laws on that. I had heard something like that before which is why I was under the impression that after x amount of month's I would be smooth sailing with all of this. I am seeing that after almost 2 years, it's not so smooth.
 
You would have to petition the courts for a guardianship hearing. As of July 2007 all persons wanting to take care of other minor children have to go through a Adam Walsh crimminal background study. You would also have to be approved by the DHS office in you county as a foster home. If you do not quailify, or they think you do not quailify, they can take the child under a CHIPS petition. CHild In need of Pretective Services. This gives the state guardianship of the child. The child will not nessarily be awarded to you at this point, it is up to the county you live in. As I said before, this gets really complicated when you have to involve the courts with children now.

Just because it looks like abandonment, does not mean it is, or that the state will agree with you. They are paid to take these children away and get them adopted to outsiders. I have been fighting for two years for my blood nieces, and it is still not over. I really discourage you from changing the situation you currently have, as it might open up a new problem you did not anticipate. It is not cut and dry anylonger, even for blood family.
 
Voluntary Termination of Parental Rights
Under Minnesota Statutes. § 260C.301, subd. 1(a) (2000), parental rights may be terminated voluntarily with the written consent of a parent who for good cause desires termination.

Even if both parents are in agreement that parental rights should be terminated, the Court must address whether the termination is occurring for good cause. "Good cause" is not defined in the statute, but has been applied in some Minnesota cases.

In the case entitled In re Welfare of All, 304 Minn. 254, 230 N.W.2d 574 (1975), the Minnesota Supreme Court examined the purpose and intent of the statute to determine when good cause could be found. The purpose of the statute is:

First, to enable the judicial system to legally remove a child from a destructive or unhealthy home environment without the consent of the natural parents, and,

second, to facilitate adoption procedures by providing a means by which existing parental rights may be voluntarily terminated.
In light of these purposes, the Minnesota Courts of Appeals have consistently ruled that a voluntary termination of parental rights for reasons other than to facilitate adoption works a substantial detrimental effect on a child, who will be forced to look solely to his custodial parent to meet all of his needs. See Matter of Welfare of J.D.N., 504 N.W.2d 54, 58 (Minn.App.1993).

The effect is that District Court Judges are extremely reluctant to terminate parent's rights voluntarily and certainly not where the termination is not agreed upon by the custodial parent. It is also clear under Minnesota law that a non-custodial parent cannot claim that the termination of parental rights is being requested in order to remove the child from a destructive or unhealthy home environment, since the petitioning party is not custodial parent. The likelihood of obtaining an order terminating parental rights is also reduced if the custodial parent is provided public assistance through the county. Obviously, the county does not want to financially support children when a parent who has that obligation is available. Even a non-custodial parent's lack of contact with a child and belief that the parent could not care for a child financially may insufficient to provide "good cause" for a voluntary termination of parental rights.

It is important to recognize that the reasons that may give rise to an involuntary termination of parental rights may not apply to a parent who seeks to voluntary termination his/her parental rights. They certainly would not apply if the custodial parent did not agree to the termination. For example, the abandonment provision only applies to involuntary terminations of parental rights --not voluntary ones.

Involuntary Termination of Parental Rights
The parent-child relationship is a fundamental right of all persons. As a result, the burden of proof necessary to terminate parental rights is quite high. Parental rights may only be terminated involuntarily if it is shown by clear and convincing evidence that one of the following apply:

Abandonment. Abandonment takes place where there is an intention to forsake the duties of parenthood. In re Welfare of L.A.F., 554 N.W.2d 393, 398 (Minn.App.1996). The Court may infer this intention when a parent fails to visit a child, refuses to accept responsibility for the child, and a fails to provide financial or emotional support to the child.

Failure to Provide Parental Support. Rights may be terminated when there is clear and convincing evidence that a parent has substantially and repeatedly neglected to comply with the duties of a parent such as the duty to provide necessary food, clothing, shelter, education, and other care necessary for the child's physical, mental, or emotional health and development. This only applies if the parent has failed to provide support without good cause. In other words, parental rights cannot be terminated if the parent is physically and financially unable to provide support

Failure to Provide Financial Support. Rights may be terminated when a parent has been ordered to pay child support or to financially aid in the child's birth and has continuously failed to do so despite having the financial ability to do so.

Unfit Parents. A parent that is unfit may have parental rights terminated if it can be shown that the parent has demonstrated a consistent pattern of specific conduct before the child or of specific conditions directly relating to the parent and child relationship which renders that parent unable, for the reasonably foreseeable future, to care appropriately for the ongoing physical, mental, or emotional needs of the child. Significantly , there is also a presumption that a parent is unfit if the his/her parental rights were terminated to another child in the past.

Foster Care Placement & Continued Parental Problems. Parental rights may be terminated if a child has been placed in foster care because of issues that make a parent unfit and following that placement reasonable efforts, under the direction of the court, have failed to correct the conditions which would allow the child to be reunited with the parent. Additionally, rights may be terminated for child neglect to the degree that the child is placed in foster care.

Egregious Harm to Child. If a child has experienced egregious harm in the parent's care which indicates a lack of regard for the child's well-being parental rights may be terminated.

Conviction of Crimes. A parent's conviction of certain crimes may also form a basis for the termination of that parent's rights.

When making a termination decision, the court is to rely "not primarily on past history, but to a great extent upon
 
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To terminate the rights of a parent, this has to be done in a Termination Hearing in the county that the parent lives in. If she does not do this volantarily, the courts can do if involantarily, and then the child is a ward of the court and subject to the courts discression as to where the child goes and whom the child lives with. It may not be the person who has taken care of her for the last two years. Second, blood relatives have first choice, and the courts must expolre these relatives first, ie; blood grandparents and aunts and uncles on both sides. Friend of the mother are considered last, not first. This gets more complicted as it goes. Work this out with the mother if you can.
 
Thank you for all your advice, it is certainly helpful. I know I would qualify for foster care. I hold a daycare lic for my home which means my DHS is clear of course. She has her own room and with me gets to do all the things a normal 9 year old girl does. I do fear however like you say that they can pull her and completly ruin her now normal life. The problem is I have the same fear that the mother can come and do the same. I was kind of hoping it would be easier for me to do this since she has lost her 2 younger daughters to their father because she basically is a poor excuess for a mom.
 
Since the mother has already lost the other two, that would give them all the more reason to pull her from your care, and start a CHIPS petition on her as well. I do not want you to lose what you have with her it sounds ideal. I just know how destructive DHS and over zealous social workers can be in this state. I live in MN too, and have been in a battle over my blood relatives for two years. Does this child have blood relatives in this state? That will impact the DHS decision. Even the best of intentions do not have the outcome that we want, and I want you to be prepared for the worst if you decide to presue this through the courts.
 
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