Can the father of my baby get custody because of who I date

J

jlynn8988

New Member
Jurisdiction
South Carolina
Can the father of my child take our baby because of who I date? I am 2 months pregnant, and split from the father. He says I am fit to keep the child if I do not go back to my ex? I've never had more than a speeding ticket and am 33. However, my ex is in prison for 8 months on violation of probation for a DUI. His previous charges are poss. of meth (last year), petty larceny, and the DUI. If father takes me to court, can they take my child because of his past history? I just want to know what to expect. I also have a 13 year old that my ex has been around for 5 years, never putting him in any harms way. Is it possible for the dad to take the baby, or will I have a chance to simply keep my ex away from the baby? How long before the court would see that my ex poses no threat to the baby for this to be reversed if so? Is this a family court case or DSS? Please leave non-legal advice/judgment out of this, as I'm having a hard enough time. Thanks so much!
 
He can use that as a "tool" to wrest custody from you yes. However it would be up to a Judge to making ruling and unless his past poses danger to child he might not prevail. Besides your only "dating" not living together right?
 
shrinkmaster said:
He can use that as a "tool" to wrest custody from you yes. However it would be up to a Judge to making ruling and unless his past poses danger to child he might not prevail. Besides your only "dating" not living together right?
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Yes we wont be living together and honestly its not a sure thing Ill be with the guy but he has me worried.
 
People threaten people all the time. Doesn't mean they will, if they try it doesn't mean they will prevail. Provide a safe environment for your child and don't give anyone reason to take the child from you.
 
jlynn8988 said:
Please leave non-legal advice/judgment out of this
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You write things that make it difficult to avoid being judgmental.

That being said, it's unlikely that a court would remove the child from your custody just for dating your ex unless the father can show that the child is in danger.

However, if you are stupid enough to go back to your ex (a druggie criminal who you already had good reason to split from), you are probably stupid enough to be convinced to let him live with you and then, yes, it's entirely possible that the father can get custody with you getting supervised visitation so the child doesn't get exposed to the druggie criminal low life.
 
adjusterjack said:
You write things that make it difficult to avoid being judgmental.

That being said, it's unlikely that a court would remove the child from your custody just for dating your ex unless the father can show that the child is in danger.

However, if you are stupid enough to go back to your ex (a druggie criminal who you already had good reason to split from), you are probably stupid enough to be convinced to let him live with you and then, yes, it's entirely possible that the father can get custody with you getting supervised visitation so the child doesn't get exposed to the druggie criminal low life.
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adjusterjack said:
You write things that make it difficult to avoid being judgmental.

That being said, it's unlikely that a court would remove the child from your custody just for dating your ex unless the father can show that the child is in danger.

However, if you are stupid enough to go back to your ex (a druggie criminal who you already had good reason to split from), you are probably stupid enough to be convinced to let him live with you and then, yes, it's entirely possible that the father can get custody with you getting supervised visitation so the child doesn't get exposed to the druggie criminal low life.
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Thanks for the advice...
 
Let me just add he will DEFINITELY live seperate from me, and its not a sure thing I'll be with him. Just wondering if he can really control who I date :/
 
jlynn8988 said:
Can the father of my child take our baby because of who I date? I am 2 months pregnant, and split from the father. He says I am fit to keep the child if I do not go back to my ex? I've never had more than a speeding ticket and am 33. However, my ex is in prison for 8 months on violation of probation for a DUI. His previous charges are poss. of meth (last year), petty larceny, and the DUI. If father takes me to court, can they take my child because of his past history? I just want to know what to expect. I also have a 13 year old that my ex has been around for 5 years, never putting him in any harms way. Is it possible for the dad to take the baby, or will I have a chance to simply keep my ex away from the baby? How long before the court would see that my ex poses no threat to the baby for this to be reversed if so? Is this a family court case or DSS? Please leave non-legal advice/judgment out of this, as I'm having a hard enough time. Thanks so much!
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First off you're gonna get whatever advice you get. People need to stop telling people what kind of comments to leave. Secondly you can't get legal advice on this site. That comes from a lawyer.

No your ex does not get to determine who you date and he does not determine custody. The court does. As you two are unmarried and will likely be once the kid is born he will have no rights. He will have to go to court and establish paternity and ask for custody and visitation - and will get a child support order if he does go to court.

The only way the court will take your child is if there is proof that it is being abused, neglected or both.

Your fetus' father sounds like a controlling douche who is jealous. Ignore him. In fact just block him on everything. You don't have to talk to him. You don't have to tell him anything. If he's going to gaslight you and mentally abuse you, there's no need for him in your life.

I would suggest not getting involved with anyone until you're ready to or in a good place to handle a new relationship. Especially with a new baby. I'm gonna give you some non-legal information - stay away from people who use meth. My ex husband is a meth addict. Never arrested for it but many other things. I got beaten up three times when he was in withdrawal from meth. Just stay away. Focus on your kids and yourself. Guys are not that important.
 
Thanks for all the replies. I'm gonna leave the ties cut with the ex and focus on me & baby. Seems like theres still a chance of getting drug through the court mud and its not worth it to chance my new baby going through that. Maybe for once the father is right:/ thanks again
 
jlynn8988 said:
Can the father of my child take our baby because of who I date? I am 2 months pregnant, and split from the father. He says I am fit to keep the child if I do not go back to my ex? I've never had more than a speeding ticket and am 33. However, my ex is in prison for 8 months on violation of probation for a DUI. His previous charges are poss. of meth (last year), petty larceny, and the DUI. If father takes me to court, can they take my child because of his past history? I just want to know what to expect. I also have a 13 year old that my ex has been around for 5 years, never putting him in any harms way. Is it possible for the dad to take the baby, or will I have a chance to simply keep my ex away from the baby? How long before the court would see that my ex poses no threat to the baby for this to be reversed if so? Is this a family court case or DSS? Please leave non-legal advice/judgment out of this, as I'm having a hard enough time. Thanks so much!
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If you and he are unmarried, he'd have to jump through a few hurdles FIRST.
One, he'd have to establish paternity through the courts and using genetic testing.
Two, he'd have to then petition the court for custody and visitation.
Your baby isn't born, so none of this will happen until the baby is live born.

In your state, the marriage, divorce, and child custody laws have a moral twist.
For instance, divorce decrees in Sc can contain a morals clause about either parent having "sleep over pals".
Such decrees can prohibit either parent from bringing their "unmarried SO" around the child.

For the moment, there's absolutely nothing he can do, except continue lying, threatening, berating, and harassing you.

Be smart, stop communicating with him.
 
Th
army judge said:
If you and he are unmarried, he'd have to jump through a few hurdles FIRST.
One, he'd have to establish paternity through the courts and using genetic testing.
Two, he'd have to then petition the court for custody and visitation.
Your baby isn't born, so none of this will happen until the baby is live born.

In your state, the marriage, divorce, and child custody laws have a moral twist.
For instance, divorce decrees in Sc can contain a morals clause about either parent having "sleep over pals".
Such decrees can prohibit either parent from bringing their "unmarried SO" around the child.

For the moment, there's absolutely nothing he can do, except continue lying, threatening, berating, and harassing you.

Be smart, stop communicating with him.
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Thank you for taking time to reply.
 
You just created a child with one guy 2 months ago and are already planning to jump back to an ex who is in prison and has an extensive criminal record. This new ex does have reason and right to be concerned about who his child might be exposed to. He will have to establish paternity once the baby is born, but it would not be unreasonable at all for him to seek custody or a clause in the custody/support agreement prohibiting the ex from being around the child.

Honestly, you need to slow your roll and stop looking for your next relationship. You have a 13 year old who has already had a tumultuous upbringing and are about to have a baby with yet another guy you aren't intending to stay with. All of this will be looked at when/if this guy does seek paternity and custody. Focus on being the best parent to your kids that you can if you want to increase your odds of retaining custody. Eliminate their exposure to criminals and other low lifes.
 
ElleMD said:
You just created a child with one guy 2 months ago and are already planning to jump back to an ex who is in prison and has an extensive criminal record. This new ex does have reason and right to be concerned about who his child might be exposed to. He will have to establish paternity once the baby is born, but it would not be unreasonable at all for him to seek custody or a clause in the custody/support agreement prohibiting the ex from being around the child.

Honestly, you need to slow your roll and stop looking for your next relationship. You have a 13 year old who has already had a tumultuous upbringing and are about to have a baby with yet another guy you aren't intending to stay with. All of this will be looked at when/if this guy does seek paternity and custody. Focus on being the best parent to your kids that you can if you want to increase your odds of retaining custody. Eliminate their exposure to criminals and other low lifes.
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U didnt read my last comment I guess. Slow your roll, lol Ive decided to leave ties cut. Thanks for the rudeness
 
jlynn: You have got your legal answer best this site or most legal forums can provide. You know have "parenting" and "relationship" issues to deal with. For help with those matters let me suggest a parenting and relationship forum hosted by this site! There you can seek advice from your peers who may o rmay not have had similar situations and see how they dealt with those issues. These are real people without agendas so you get honest advice. Link below
 

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