Can my last name be added to my ex's if a judge allows it?

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sidearmsalpha

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With the assistance of a lawyer and a petition, can my last name be added to my ex's last name for a recently-born child that I'm still trying to determine if I am the father? She has made it clear that this child will not have my last name. He was born on February 15th, and I have not been able to see him. I may tomorrow, if she allows it. She just got released from the hospital today. She has been adamant about not putting me on the birth certificate as the father and will not give him my last name since we discussed the issue a few months ago. I have already arranged an appointment for a consultation with a family law lawyer, and I will be submitting an application to open a case with Child Support Services to determine if I really am the father and to establish my rights if I am. I understand that it normally takes the consent of the other parent to change the name, but I don't see why I couldn't just add my name to her's if I have done nothing wrong, and she is just being uncooperative out of spite and vindication.

Here is a little background on my current situation:

I was already out of the relationship for about 3 months when my ex contacted me to tell me she was expecting a child and claimed I was the father. I have been skeptical about being the father from the very beginning for various justifiable reasons, but I had decided to stay onboard to see it through in the event I did turn out to be the father. I have remained in constant contact with her often meeting up with her to do things together. Early on, she insisted that she did not want me to go with her to any of the prenatal appointments even though I made it clear that I really wanted to, but she has been very bad about getting back to me with regular updates after the visits. She even claimed that she did not want any financial support from me when the child is born. In speaking with female friends and family members who have been in similar situations, they all thought it was odd that she was behaving in this matter when I was showing quite clearly that I wanted to be a part of this.

She was due in the middle of January, and a few months before, I discussed with her what was going to happen when he (she knew was having a boy by this time) was born regarding my rights. She coldly admitted that she had no intentions of putting me on the birth certificate as the father, he would not be given my last name, and that she would contact me when she was already home with the baby - not when she went into labor or even when she was in the hospital! I couldn't believe what I was hearing. When I demanded to know why she was treating me like this, she claimed that she just didn't feel that her child needed a father, and she was doing what was best for the child. I think she was holding a number of petty things against me like the fact that we were no longer in a relationship and I was the one who had broke it off. She also has deep-rooted father-figure issues because she did not have a constant father-figure in her life, and I honestly believe that she thinks I won't be around long even though I say I will be and is using this against me. I grew up without a father most of my life, and I have no intentions of abandoning this child.

The baby was born a few days ago on February 15th. She did not contact me when she was admitted into the hospital the day before even though she had ample time and opportunity to contact me. I finally got hold of her mother the next day who had my ex call me. She insisted that I could not see the baby until she was released from the hospital, which was today. I have tried to contact her today, but there has been no response. I am getting the feeling she may not allow me to see the baby.

I have decided to submit an application with Child Support Services to open a case against myself and hire a lawyer if the results of the paternity test are positive. I have no other recourse.
 
With the assistance of a lawyer and a petition, can my last name be added to my ex's last name for a recently-born child that I'm still trying to determine if I am the father? She has made it clear that this child will not have my last name.

Not without paternity being decided, no.

He was born on February 15th, and I have not been able to see him. I may tomorrow, if she allows it. She just got released from the hospital today. She has been adamant about not putting me on the birth certificate as the father and will not give him my last name since we discussed the issue a few months ago. I have already arranged an appointment for a consultation with a family law lawyer, and I will be submitting an application to open a case with Child Support Services to determine if I really am the father and to establish my rights if I am. I understand that it normally takes the consent of the other parent to change the name, but I don't see why I couldn't just add my name to her's if I have done nothing wrong, and she is just being uncooperative out of spite and vindication.

Well, quite simply, you're not legally Dad yet - until you are, she's under no obligation to let you see the child or even have any contact with you. And thus, she has every right to NOT give the child your name.

Here is a little background on my current situation:

I was already out of the relationship for about 3 months when my ex contacted me to tell me she was expecting a child and claimed I was the father. I have been skeptical about being the father from the very beginning for various justifiable reasons, but I had decided to stay onboard to see it through in the event I did turn out to be the father. I have remained in constant contact with her often meeting up with her to do things together. Early on, she insisted that she did not want me to go with her to any of the prenatal appointments even though I made it clear that I really wanted to, but she has been very bad about getting back to me with regular updates after the visits. She even claimed that she did not want any financial support from me when the child is born. In speaking with female friends and family members who have been in similar situations, they all thought it was odd that she was behaving in this matter when I was showing quite clearly that I wanted to be a part of this.

She was due in the middle of January, and a few months before, I discussed with her what was going to happen when he (she knew was having a boy by this time) was born regarding my rights. She coldly admitted that she had no intentions of putting me on the birth certificate as the father, he would not be given my last name, and that she would contact me when she was already home with the baby - not when she went into labor or even when she was in the hospital! I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

You must understand that this is about legalities, not emotion - she was under no obligation to even let you know when the baby was born. I know it sounds harsh, but that's the reality.

When I demanded to know why she was treating me like this, she claimed that she just didn't feel that her child needed a father, and she was doing what was best for the child. I think she was holding a number of petty things against me like the fact that we were no longer in a relationship and I was the one who had broke it off. She also has deep-rooted father-figure issues because she did not have a constant father-figure in her life, and I honestly believe that she thinks I won't be around long even though I say I will be and is using this against me. I grew up without a father most of my life, and I have no intentions of abandoning this child.

The baby was born a few days ago on February 15th. She did not contact me when she was admitted into the hospital the day before even though she had ample time and opportunity to contact me. I finally got hold of her mother the next day who had my ex call me. She insisted that I could not see the baby until she was released from the hospital, which was today. I have tried to contact her today, but there has been no response. I am getting the feeling she may not allow me to see the baby.

Again, she doesn't have to let you see the baby.


I have decided to submit an application with Child Support Services to open a case against myself and hire a lawyer if the results of the paternity test are positive. I have no other recourse.


This is the BEST course of action :)
 
I agree you need to establish paternity and ask for visitation. Do not let the mother dictate your future with this child. It is possible you may get to hyphenate the childs last name, a judge will decide on that.
 
Well, here is the thing, she was the one who initially came to me INSISTING that I was the father. I had ended our relationship a few months earlier and was looking forward to moving on with my life after a 5-year relationship with her that was going nowhere. As I stated, I have been supportive from the beginning, but she has now decided to turn the tables and is playing this sick game of leading me on by keeping in touch and stating that I will still be a part of his life but under her terms only. I'm biding my time until Child Support Services contacts me to start my case and challenge the paternity, but I do want to see the baby before all hell breaks loose, and I can't see him anymore until all this is settled (which could take some time). Yeah, it could turn out that I might not be the father, but it's a chance I'm taking. She's the one that started all this. I feel like she's dangling this baby in front of me and toying with me thinking that I will play along with her game.

She has tried to intimidate me by threatening that I have no chance whatsoever in getting a favorable outcome if I decide to establish my rights, that the ball is completely in her court. She's a very controlling, sadistic person. I used protection the last 2 years I was with her and didn't have any accidents before. I wasn't expecting it to fail the last time we had intercourse before I ended the relationship. It's possible the condom broke, or I'm being led on. The DNA tests will prove it once and for all. I'm not looking to cause her any problems, but she is flat out toying with me and not recognizing my rights if she is absolutely sure that I'm the father.
 
Then stop listening to her and see an attorney, plain and simple.
 
NO NO NO NO NO you don't open a child support services case against yourself!!! You don't want the government involved. See the family lawyer, file a paternity suit, establish visitation and child support, and argue to the judge that you want YOUR child to have YOUR last name even if its hyphenated. A judge may buy that.

Your ex is the Mom and when you establish paternity you will be the Dad. At that point you two are supposedly equal and a judge will treat you as such.

You do NOT want the government involved though. Follow your attorney, he/she will make it happen. Good luck and congratulations.
 
Establish paternity no matter what she say

You need to request a DNA

Otherwise you should not pay

In the future it is best not to play!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
NO NO NO NO NO you don't open a child support services case against yourself!!! You don't want the government involved. See the family lawyer, file a paternity suit, establish visitation and child support, and argue to the judge that you want YOUR child to have YOUR last name even if its hyphenated. A judge may buy that.

Your ex is the Mom and when you establish paternity you will be the Dad. At that point you two are supposedly equal and a judge will treat you as such.

You do NOT want the government involved though. Follow your attorney, he/she will make it happen. Good luck and congratulations.

I thought that Child Support Services gets involved no matter how I go about it. And, she was receiving Medi-Cal benefits from the state for her prenatal care and is intending to continue receiving medical benefits, at least for the child, since she claims it would cost too much to add the child to her employee-provided insurance plan. I had already turned in an application to Child Support Services a few weeks before the baby was born since I was told I could do that and they would follow up when the baby was born, but it got sent back to me because they contacted her to see if the baby was born. She was overdue when they called her, the baby had not yet been born, so the application was returned to me. She ended up having the baby a few days later. So, now I have the new application filled out. I was just about to go turn it in today.
 
I thought that Child Support Services gets involved no matter how I go about it. And, she was receiving Medi-Cal benefits from the state for her prenatal care and is intending to continue receiving medical benefits, at least for the child, since she claims it would cost too much to add the child to her employee-provided insurance plan. I had already turned in an application to Child Support Services a few weeks before the baby was born since I was told I could do that and they would follow up when the baby was born, but it got sent back to me because they contacted her to see if the baby was born. She was overdue when they called her, the baby had not yet been born, so the application was returned to me. She ended up having the baby a few days later. So, now I have the new application filled out. I was just about to go turn it in today.

Have you ever watched an episode of Maury?

If you have, you must surely know that some women point a crooked finer at the wrong man.

Many times some of these females have no clue who the daddy is.

Before you pay one red cent, request a DNA test.:no:

I've had many clients surprisingly discover that they are not the father!:yes:

What was even more revealing is that some of those men were married to those liars and cheaters!
 
Have you ever watched an episode of Maury?

If you have, you must surely know that some women point a crooked finer at the wrong man.

Many times some of these females have no clue who the daddy is.

Before you pay one red cent, request a DNA test.:no:

I've had many clients surprisingly discover that they are not the father!:yes:

What was even more revealing is that some of those men were married to those liars and cheaters!


I can't remember where I read it, but I'm sure I recently read where in 20% of marriages, the husband is shown NOT to be the biological father of the child in question...
:o
 
I can't remember where I read it, but I'm sure I recently read where in 20% of marriages, the husband is shown NOT to be the biological father of the child in question...
:o
I've seen reports that it could be as high as 50%.

20-50%, even 1% is too high, when the wrong person is being socked to pay for someone else's kid!
 
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