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BioMom refuses to parent to parent mediate holiday schedule

Discussion in 'Child Custody & Visitation' started by AnnaSD5, Oct 21, 2018.

  1. AnnaSD5

    AnnaSD5 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Jurisdiction:
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    Long story short. My husband’s ex wife has time and time again refused my husband’s family in assisting my husband (us) with transporting the child for his wknd exchanges. He currently has visitation with the child every other wknd and most holidays alternating yrs. We live in a different state and somehow manage to make it work. At their last court hearing winter of 2017, they were to have revised the current visitation plan now that my husband and I live out of state and the child is now enrolled in school. Like I mentioned before BM does not wish to have his family assist with exchanges. (Sometimes he gets into town later than exchange time or early the next morning due to work). However he was granted last winter to have his mother and sister be named on the court order as individuals who may pick up and drop off child for us if needed. Of course she was furious at this. She has now requested to my husband that he provide a video chat of when his family exchanges the child to us etc. even though he barely gets his weekly video chat with child. She wants to make sure child does come to us??? Not exactly sure why she feels she needs this. M y husband refuses to provide this video chat since he struggles as it is to get his weekly video chat (mom states she can’t afford wi-fi). Anyway mom has thus refused to parent to parent mediate with ANY issues that come up until he agrees to the video chat she is requesting. And I mean ANY! Including the upcoming Xmas winter break schedule. She had the child entire Xmas week last yr. we had the child the second week. There aren’t any current court orders because as I stated, the hearing last winter 2017 only addressed that school yr and Xmas break. The court order literally lists dates in Dec-Jan 2017. Is this legal that she refuses to discuss with him any issues including visitation schedule until he agrees to her video chat request??? They have seen a high conflict mediator who is VERY expensive. His thoughts were to go back to the mediator but this is ridiculous that mom refuses to even discuss anything until he agrees to the video chat. Again is this legal??
     
  2. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    People can set any conditions to doing anything, and others can ignore the conditions.

    It isn't illegal to ignore people, or not accede to their demands.

    The man can HIRE a lawyer and seek a court order, or a clarification for the existing order.

    Even if there is a court order, no person is mandated to exercise any visitation.

    Bottom line, someone needs to hire a lawyer, or get used to being thwarted and ignored.
     
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  3. KatDini

    KatDini Well-Known Member

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    "BIoMom" is also inappropriate in this situation. She's Mom, he's Dad, and legally, you don't count.
     
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  4. zddoodah

    zddoodah Well-Known Member

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    Yes. The mother is under no obligation to discuss anything with your husband unless the court has ordered her to do so.

    Is that really the only thing you wanted to ask?
     
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  5. leslie82

    leslie82 Well-Known Member

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    She's just mom - not biological mom.

    You don't have to understand why she needs this. She's their mom. She has the right to know where her kids are. Also - maybe she can't afford Internet. Not everyone can and it's not a necessity.

    Is there court ordered mediation? What do you mean the revised order only addressed Christmas 2017? It shouldn't have modified everything. It should state who gets alternating holidays and when.

    The court isn't going to dictate every single thing in a parenting plan. Yes it's legal for her to do it. I doubt he will get anything in writing about it.

    Sounds like your husband and his ex need to grow the hell up and you need to step back because stepparents have a thin line. You legally have nothing in this - and before you go off I was a stepmom. I knew my place. Yeah I bitched about his first ex wife when she used visitation against lack of child support. Then I paid child support so we could see the kids. But I also knew my place and did my best not to cross the line into their parenting.
     
  6. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    If a person isn't paying child support, an observer could easily conclude the person has little interest in seeing your kid(s).

    Bread and butter, ham and cheese, tea and cream, deadbeats and no need to see your kid; some things just go well together.
     

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