Being forced to speaking to DCF for having a baby (????)

[TFurn]

Jurisdiction

Massachusetts

Exactly as stated in the title. I was literally reported to the DCF for going to the hospital and having a baby. Let me better explain - it is October, 2017 and my husband and I have been separated since March. He left me pregnant and unemployed and has been living in a homeless shelter since. Without going into much detail regarding my marriage, there was a case of domestic violence. He was arrested, the charges were dropped (which I was fine with), but he is not a good husband and much less a good father. I have an 11 year old from a previous marriage, and a 1 year old and a newborn (3 weeks old) from my estranged husband. He was not present during my pregnancy, did not provide a whole lot financially and wasn't simply not there for us with any emotional support either. That said, I did not want him there the day I delivered my newborn daughter. I let the nurses know the situation that I had no desire to see him and did not want him to come around. The nurses thought it would be a good idea to inform the hospital social worker and I did not take kindly to the social worker trying to learn more of my "situation".

I have an intense aversion for the DCF. They have been involved 3 times already. First time because my daughter's school called them (because I spanked my daughter and she went to school very upset over this). Second time because the neighbor heard me yelling at her and the police came. Third time due to the domestic violence from my husband. All of these were investigated, the first two were not supported and the third, my husband got the military involved and it was dropped. As previously stated, I did not take kindly to the social worker at the hospital. I explained that I did not wish to disclose any information and asked if I was legally obligated to talk to her. If not, I'd like to be left alone. She was very pushy and started making threats to call the DCF. Sure enough she did. They didn't even wait for me to leave the hospital and were calling me the very next day. I literally had a complete meltdown at the hospital and could not believe this was happening. I went there to have a baby and now all of a sudden they are getting the DCF involved. I felt as though this was completely unmerited and wrong. When the DCF called I simply told them to leave me alone and hung up on them. They tried to call again after I left the hospital and I told them to do their investigation, contact the kids' pediatrician school, do their thing and LEAVE ME OUT OF IT. It has now been 3 weeks since I delivered and they have now contacted my husband very adamant about meeting with us. When I asked them WHY, they are alleging neglect. Problem is that this "neglect" that they speak of is in regards to last year's report that was closed! What is the neglect this time around? They have nothing to go on so are using a previous report. Can they legally do this? Do I really need to meet with them? At this point I am wanting to sue the hospital for not respecting my privacy and sue the DCF for harrassement. Do I not have the right to not want a deadbeat husband and father at the hospital during my delivery?

I feel very wronged. Wish to be left alone to raise my children as best as I can. Please help me understand my rights, what I can and cannot do.

Thank you for taking the time to read and many thanks to the attorney(s) that will take their times to respond.

Kind regards,
Thais

 

[adjusterjack]

DCF is a government agency. Government agencies have no power over you without a warrant or court order.

You are free to keep hanging up on them and refuse to cooperate if they come to your door.

Unfortunately, that could lead to a warrant or court order which could result in getting your kids removed.

Since you have previously gone round and round with DCF successfully, you might consider cooperating and going through the process.

 

[TFurn]

DCF is a government agency. Government agencies have no power over you without a warrant or court order.

You are free to keep hanging up on them and refuse to cooperate if they come to your door.

Unfortunately, that could lead to a warrant or court order which could result in getting your kids removed.

Since you have previously gone round and round with DCF successfully, you might consider cooperating and going through the process.

Thank you very much for your response. Is it legal for them to allege negligence from a previous case though? This is what they are trying to do. They have made threats to take the children and I always ask why and they say "negligence". They are forcing me to comply. Can they do this? Can I sue them for trying to overstep their bounds?

 

[army judge]

You don't have to speak with the FBI, DEA, Police, sheriff, or DCF.

As advised, they could take the matter to court, which would require you to appear, however, you could also remain silent and request a court appointed attorney.

No, you don't have to interact, but that could cause things to escalate.

As far as suing DCF, not going to happen.

You can however defend when DCF takes you to court.

This is a lose-lose no matter which path you choose.

 

[mightymoose]

If they had sufficient information to remove your kids from the home they would have already done so and would not be contacting by telephone weeks later.
You are free to ignore them and to refuse to make a statement or to allow access to your kids. You don't have to return their calls, answer the phone, open the door, or speak to them. They can't force you to do anything.

 

[adjusterjack]

Is it legal for them to allege negligence from a previous case though?

Of course it's legal. They can "allege" anything they want. Doesn't mean anything.

They have made threats to take the children and I always ask why and they say "negligence".

That's your mistake. You keep talking to them. Next time they call, say one thing "I'm not talking to you without a lawyer." Then hang up.

Say the same thing every time they call. Do not engage in any other conversation.

They are forcing me to comply. Can they do this?

No, they aren't "forcing" you. They are just trying to scare you into compliance. Whether or not they are successful depends on you.

Can I sue them for trying to overstep their bounds?

Nope. They are immune to lawsuits for doing their jobs.

 

[leslie82]

Exactly as stated in the title. I was literally reported to the DCF for going to the hospital and having a baby. Let me better explain - it is October, 2017 and my husband and I have been separated since March. He left me pregnant and unemployed and has been living in a homeless shelter since. Without going into much detail regarding my marriage, there was a case of domestic violence. He was arrested, the charges were dropped (which I was fine with), but he is not a good husband and much less a good father. I have an 11 year old from a previous marriage, and a 1 year old and a newborn (3 weeks old) from my estranged husband. He was not present during my pregnancy, did not provide a whole lot financially and wasn't simply not there for us with any emotional support either. That said, I did not want him there the day I delivered my newborn daughter. I let the nurses know the situation that I had no desire to see him and did not want him to come around. The nurses thought it would be a good idea to inform the hospital social worker and I did not take kindly to the social worker trying to learn more of my "situation".

I have an intense aversion for the DCF. They have been involved 3 times already. First time because my daughter's school called them (because I spanked my daughter and she went to school very upset over this). Second time because the neighbor heard me yelling at her and the police came. Third time due to the domestic violence from my husband. All of these were investigated, the first two were not supported and the third, my husband got the military involved and it was dropped. As previously stated, I did not take kindly to the social worker at the hospital. I explained that I did not wish to disclose any information and asked if I was legally obligated to talk to her. If not, I'd like to be left alone. She was very pushy and started making threats to call the DCF. Sure enough she did. They didn't even wait for me to leave the hospital and were calling me the very next day. I literally had a complete meltdown at the hospital and could not believe this was happening. I went there to have a baby and now all of a sudden they are getting the DCF involved. I felt as though this was completely unmerited and wrong. When the DCF called I simply told them to leave me alone and hung up on them. They tried to call again after I left the hospital and I told them to do their investigation, contact the kids' pediatrician school, do their thing and LEAVE ME OUT OF IT. It has now been 3 weeks since I delivered and they have now contacted my husband very adamant about meeting with us. When I asked them WHY, they are alleging neglect. Problem is that this "neglect" that they speak of is in regards to last year's report that was closed! What is the neglect this time around? They have nothing to go on so are using a previous report. Can they legally do this? Do I really need to meet with them? At this point I am wanting to sue the hospital for not respecting my privacy and sue the DCF for harrassement. Do I not have the right to not want a deadbeat husband and father at the hospital during my delivery?

I feel very wronged. Wish to be left alone to raise my children as best as I can. Please help me understand my rights, what I can and cannot do.

Thank you for taking the time to read and many thanks to the attorney(s) that will take their times to respond.

Kind regards,
Thais

First of all – the social worker HAS to ask you questions about your home life and situation. That is their job. They cannot help you if they don't know what's going on in your life. Also he's still your husband so he has rights to see his children when he wants to unless you divorce him and get custody.


You said there was a history of domestic violence right? That's why DCF was involved three times I'm sure. That's not their fault. So why you have an "aversion" to them is only known to you. But they get a report of domestic violence or possible abuse against kids they have to act on it. I mentioned something to my daughter's doctor after I kicked my then husband out that the night before he had gotten mad and thrown what I thought was a chair. Not at anyone but he threw it mad for a stupid reason. She reported it – and I got a visit from CPS and a detective with her. She asked me what happened. I told her. Sometime she followed up. I said he's gone and the divorce was proceeding. She said she was closing the case. Nothing needed to be done. I have no issue with that being done. The doctor was worried and the social worker did her job. So you are mad at them for doing their job investing reports? Really? You "spanked" your daughter or did you hit your daughter? Big difference and spanking is not illegal in the US. Corporal punishment is still legal in all 50 states but it has to be reasonable and not excessive. "Got the military involved." They don't drop domestic violence. Everywhere I've been in the Army they take dv seriously.

I'm going to doubt that she got "pushy" and made threats to call DCF – based on what you have said so far. She likely called DCF because of the past history of dv and the other calls and thought you might be in danger as you were being dodgy and hiding information from her.

Based on all your info this was not unmerited. They did not go after you or target you. All you had to do was tell the social worker what had happened before. I really believe she saw something that concerned her from your actions and that's why she called them. You don't have to talk to them until a court orders you to. I honestly don't know why you won't though. I think you made this into a bigger issue than it had to be.

If your husband is such a deadbeat divorce him. The longer you stay married to him the more people may get concerned and you might get more of these calls. They did not harass you. They are doing their jobs based on what you said.


You were not wronged but you feel how you feel. If your husband is so horrible divorce him.

 

[TFurn]

First of all – the social worker HAS to ask you questions about your home life and situation. That is their job. They cannot help you if they don't know what's going on in your life. Also he's still your husband so he has rights to see his children when he wants to unless you divorce him and get custody.


You said there was a history of domestic violence right? That's why DCF was involved three times I'm sure. That's not their fault. So why you have an "aversion" to them is only known to you. But they get a report of domestic violence or possible abuse against kids they have to act on it. I mentioned something to my daughter's doctor after I kicked my then husband out that the night before he had gotten mad and thrown what I thought was a chair. Not at anyone but he threw it mad for a stupid reason. She reported it – and I got a visit from CPS and a detective with her. She asked me what happened. I told her. Sometime she followed up. I said he's gone and the divorce was proceeding. She said she was closing the case. Nothing needed to be done. I have no issue with that being done. The doctor was worried and the social worker did her job. So you are mad at them for doing their job investing reports? Really? You "spanked" your daughter or did you hit your daughter? Big difference and spanking is not illegal in the US. Corporal punishment is still legal in all 50 states but it has to be reasonable and not excessive. "Got the military involved." They don't drop domestic violence. Everywhere I've been in the Army they take dv seriously.

I'm going to doubt that she got "pushy" and made threats to call DCF – based on what you have said so far. She likely called DCF because of the past history of dv and the other calls and thought you might be in danger as you were being dodgy and hiding information from her.

Based on all your info this was not unmerited. They did not go after you or target you. All you had to do was tell the social worker what had happened before. I really believe she saw something that concerned her from your actions and that's why she called them. You don't have to talk to them until a court orders you to. I honestly don't know why you won't though. I think you made this into a bigger issue than it had to be.

If your husband is such a deadbeat divorce him. The longer you stay married to him the more people may get concerned and you might get more of these calls. They did not harass you. They are doing their jobs based on what you said.


You were not wronged but you feel how you feel. If your husband is so horrible divorce him.

Thanks for taking the time to write all of that. But I wasn't looking for your personal opinion. Especially when you don't know me personally and don't know what happened exactly. I will divorce him if/when I see fit, thank you.

 

[leslie82]

Thanks for taking the time to write all of that. But I wasn't looking for your personal opinion. Especially when you don't know me personally and don't know what happened exactly. I will divorce him if/when I see fit, thank you.

That wasn't a personal opinion. He will have 50/50 rights to any children he is the legal father of until you divorce him. That's just a fact and as long as you are married to him DCF is probably gonna keep getting up in your business.

I do know what happened you told everyone here on this public forum what happened according to you.

The social worker in the hospital was requested to talk to you - she had to ask you all those questions in order to help you. Fact. She wasn't just "getting in your business."

You also do not have to talk to DCF unless there's a court order. So why you keep talking to them is beyond anyone on here.

Don't talk to them until you have to. But as long as you stay married to an abusive person they're gonna probably get called. DCF got called because of your history and that's all.

If you don't like what people have to respond to you on a public forum don't post questions then.

 

[TFurn]

That wasn't a personal opinion. He will have 50/50 rights to any children he is the legal father of until you divorce him. That's just a fact and as long as you are married to him DCF is probably gonna keep getting up in your business.

I do know what happened you told everyone here on this public forum what happened according to you.

The social worker in the hospital was requested to talk to you - she had to ask you all those questions in order to help you. Fact. She wasn't just "getting in your business."

You also do not have to talk to DCF unless there's a court order. So why you keep talking to them is beyond anyone on here.

Don't talk to them until you have to. But as long as you stay married to an abusive person they're gonna probably get called. DCF got called because of your history and that's all.

If you don't like what people have to respond to you on a public forum don't post questions then.

You are clearly not a lawyer. He doesn't have "50/50 rights". Sorry! Not how it works. Idk what state you're from but that is not how things work in my state. He will get every other weekend (if that). That's not 50/50 now is it? Again, thanks for your input and opinions and feel free to stop opining.

 

[shrinkmaster]

You are clearly not a lawyer. He doesn't have "50/50 rights". Sorry! Not how it works. Idk what state you're from but that is not how things work in my state. He will get every other weekend (if that). That's not 50/50 now is it? Again, thanks for your input and opinions and feel free to stop opining.

He has same rights as you if hes legal father until a court says otherwise. by the way read this its at bottom of every page


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[cbg]

What he WILL GET after you are divorced, and what he DOES HAVE now while you are still legally married, is not the same thing. He may not get 50/50 after the divorce, but today he does unless a court has EXPRESSLY said that he does not.