back child support I owe

[stacynicole]

Jurisdiction

Illinois

I lost my job for 9 months not knowing I needed to tell the courts. My ex and I were on very good terms and he even told the judge when we went before him for a modification that he was not going to sue me for the back support. During the time I was out of work, I was able to take my 401K from the job loss and from that I gave him a good amt. of that money. Because of the great relationship we had, I never thought to get a receipt. Well no that he is remarried, everything has gone to hell. He "cannot recall" the money I gave him, and of course now wants the back support to the tone of 23K. During the time I was paying him the 1800 a month, he still failed to pay the mortgage et lost the home. (the payment with taxes was only 1100- he had plenty to pay that and feed the children as well with utilities included) My question is this, I have no problem paying back the 23K, the kids are nearly 16 and 17, my daughter lives with me now. Is there a way that the money can go into accounts set purely for them? I want to assure that he has no way of touching the money. My daughter no longer lives with him, and my son is nearly grown. They should have some kind of savings to look forward to.

 

[Zigner]

It's his money to reimburse him. You owe the money to him.

 

[zddoodah]

The answer to your question is no (unless your ex consents to it). Child support is an obligation that is owed by one parent to the other. It is not owed or payable to the child.

How long ago did this job loss incident? Was the money you paid during this time paid by check? If so, and assuming it wasn't more than seven years ago, you should be able to get copies of the checks from your bank. If it wasn't paid by check, how was it paid (I sure as heck hope you weren't giving someone $1,800 per month in cash).

 

[army judge]

I have no problem paying back the 23K, the kids are nearly 16 and 17, my daughter lives with me now. Is there a way that the money can go into accounts set purely for them?

No, the child support monies you owe are paid to the party named in the child support order.

How that person spend that money is NONE of your concern.

You are REQUIRED to pay the money as specified in the court order.

If you can't pay at this moment, it behooves you to contact the court and see if the court will make a special arrangement with you.

Bottom line, if you are to pay $200 per month, the meter is ticking and the debt keeps accumulating.

 

[stacynicole]

No, the child support monies you owe are paid to the party named in the child support order.

How that person spend that money is NONE of your concern.

You are REQUIRED to pay the money as specified in the court order.

If you can't pay at this moment, it behooves you to contact the court and see if the court will make a special arrangement with you.

Bottom line, if you are to pay $200 per month, the meter is ticking and the debt keeps accumulating.

 

[stacynicole]

Like with interest?

 

[stacynicole]

It's his money to reimburse him. You owe the money to him.

I wasn't arguing the repayment, hell I'm the one who agreed to such a payment to begin with. So please watch the attitude and no need to pass such judgement. My point was he blew every dime, didn't keep a roof over their heads or abide by any agreement that all the money I had been giving him was for to begin with. I was just wanting this owed money called "child support" not " ex husband support" to go to them. But thanks for your candid response.

 

[cbg]

Child support payments are to reimburse the custodial parent for money they have already spent on the child. While I see your point in this instance, how he uses the money is not within your control since presumably he'd already used his own fund to care for the child and this is his reimbursement.

 

[Zigner]

I wasn't arguing the repayment, hell I'm the one who agreed to such a payment to begin with. So please watch the attitude and no need to pass such judgement.

Mine was a sterile statement of facts. If you believe there was "attitude" or that I was passing "judgment" on you, then that stems from your internal feelings on the matter and not reality.

 

[stealthy1]

Like with interest?

Yep.

 

[P1776]

I lost my job for 9 months not knowing I needed to tell the courts. My ex and I were on very good terms and he even told the judge when we went before him for a modification that he was not going to sue me for the back support. During the time I was out of work, I was able to take my 401K from the job loss and from that I gave him a good amt. of that money. Because of the great relationship we had, I never thought to get a receipt. Well no that he is remarried, everything has gone to hell. He "cannot recall" the money I gave him, and of course now wants the back support to the tone of 23K. During the time I was paying him the 1800 a month, he still failed to pay the mortgage et lost the home. (the payment with taxes was only 1100- he had plenty to pay that and feed the children as well with utilities included) My question is this, I have no problem paying back the 23K, the kids are nearly 16 and 17, my daughter lives with me now. Is there a way that the money can go into accounts set purely for them? I want to assure that he has no way of touching the money. My daughter no longer lives with him, and my son is nearly grown. They should have some kind of savings to look forward to.

You mentioned that one of the kids lives with you now and it sounds like you have a change in circumstance with employment.

I lost my job for 9 months not knowing I needed to tell the courts. My ex and I were on very good terms and he even told the judge when we went before him for a modification that he was not going to sue me for the back support. During the time I was out of work, I was able to take my 401K from the job loss and from that I gave him a good amt. of that money. Because of the great relationship we had, I never thought to get a receipt. Well no that he is remarried, everything has gone to hell. He "cannot recall" the money I gave him, and of course now wants the back support to the tone of 23K. During the time I was paying him the 1800 a month, he still failed to pay the mortgage et lost the home. (the payment with taxes was only 1100- he had plenty to pay that and feed the children as well with utilities included) My question is this, I have no problem paying back the 23K, the kids are nearly 16 and 17, my daughter lives with me now. Is there a way that the money can go into accounts set purely for them? I want to assure that he has no way of touching the money. My daughter no longer lives with him, and my son is nearly grown. They should have some kind of savings to look forward to.

No, you must pay him....However, you lost your job and you stated that one child lives with you now. Child Support payments cannot be changed without going to court and having the judge enters a new court order..

You can ask the court to modify the amount of child support payments that you owe, if there has been a substantial change in circumstances since the last child support order, which it sounds like you have.

 

[leslie82]

I lost my job for 9 months not knowing I needed to tell the courts. My ex and I were on very good terms and he even told the judge when we went before him for a modification that he was not going to sue me for the back support. During the time I was out of work, I was able to take my 401K from the job loss and from that I gave him a good amt. of that money. Because of the great relationship we had, I never thought to get a receipt. Well no that he is remarried, everything has gone to hell. He "cannot recall" the money I gave him, and of course now wants the back support to the tone of 23K. During the time I was paying him the 1800 a month, he still failed to pay the mortgage et lost the home. (the payment with taxes was only 1100- he had plenty to pay that and feed the children as well with utilities included) My question is this, I have no problem paying back the 23K, the kids are nearly 16 and 17, my daughter lives with me now. Is there a way that the money can go into accounts set purely for them? I want to assure that he has no way of touching the money. My daughter no longer lives with him, and my son is nearly grown. They should have some kind of savings to look forward to.

.
Child support goes to the parent that it is ordered to go to - it's never intended to be for the kids. It's intended to support the kids' needs. So even if someone pays child support arrears after the kids are the age of majority it goes to the parent.

He's getting the money that you owe him. It's that simple.

 

[leslie82]

I wasn't arguing the repayment, hell I'm the one who agreed to such a payment to begin with. So please watch the attitude and no need to pass such judgement. My point was he blew every dime, didn't keep a roof over their heads or abide by any agreement that all the money I had been giving him was for to begin with. I was just wanting this owed money called "child support" not " ex husband support" to go to them. But thanks for your candid response.

It doesn't matter what he spends the money on. You can modify the child support order but anything YOU have in arrears you will have to pay him.