HappyinMass
New Member
Background:
My ex and I divorced in Mass in 2003 after a 21 yr marriage. We created our separation agreement with the help of a mediator who was not an attorney, and neither of us consulted attorneys.
He agreed to pay alimony, and this all went through the court fine and was finalized with a decree. We set the alimony basically by splitting the difference between our incomes (he made about $100k, I made about $60k). After adjusting for tax consequences, his payments to me of about $20k per year approximately equalized our income and standard of living.
He has paid regularly, no complaints there.
Current situation:
He moved out of Mass a couple years ago and remarried. I still live in Mass and remarried in 2008. Then he hit me with a Modification Complaint stating the alimony should end, but our agreement doesn't say so. All it says is that if I remarry he can "request to renegotiate the amount."
So I agreed to renegotiate and again we went to a mediator (a different one). After three sessions we dropped this effort. My ex kept insisting the alimony should be zero, although at one point he indicated he might be willing to exchange some debt totaling about $45k. According to one calculator the worth of the alimony still due to me through my ex's retirement would be more than $150k!
Then after mediation, his offer went way down, too just $15k (the amount equal to what he had already paid since my marriage)! Of course I rejected it.
Now he's pursuing the lawsuit. This is costing me a ton to defend. My remarriage and my new husband's salary don't have any bearing to the calculation we made in 2004. This is income that would be very uncomfortable and wrong to have taken away, as it is due me from decisions made in the marriage, that resulted in my income still having a disparity from my ex's.
I would appreciate any input how to fight this effectively.
My ex and I divorced in Mass in 2003 after a 21 yr marriage. We created our separation agreement with the help of a mediator who was not an attorney, and neither of us consulted attorneys.
He agreed to pay alimony, and this all went through the court fine and was finalized with a decree. We set the alimony basically by splitting the difference between our incomes (he made about $100k, I made about $60k). After adjusting for tax consequences, his payments to me of about $20k per year approximately equalized our income and standard of living.
He has paid regularly, no complaints there.
Current situation:
He moved out of Mass a couple years ago and remarried. I still live in Mass and remarried in 2008. Then he hit me with a Modification Complaint stating the alimony should end, but our agreement doesn't say so. All it says is that if I remarry he can "request to renegotiate the amount."
So I agreed to renegotiate and again we went to a mediator (a different one). After three sessions we dropped this effort. My ex kept insisting the alimony should be zero, although at one point he indicated he might be willing to exchange some debt totaling about $45k. According to one calculator the worth of the alimony still due to me through my ex's retirement would be more than $150k!
Then after mediation, his offer went way down, too just $15k (the amount equal to what he had already paid since my marriage)! Of course I rejected it.
Now he's pursuing the lawsuit. This is costing me a ton to defend. My remarriage and my new husband's salary don't have any bearing to the calculation we made in 2004. This is income that would be very uncomfortable and wrong to have taken away, as it is due me from decisions made in the marriage, that resulted in my income still having a disparity from my ex's.
I would appreciate any input how to fight this effectively.
