T
TaylorsDad
Guest
- Jurisdiction
- Maryland
What is the name of your state (only U.S. law)? Maryland
I will keep this as short as possible, I live in Maryland, I am 35 year old single dad. My daughter is 5 1/2 and since she was 2 1/2 I have had primary custody of her, and tie breaking legal ability. In an agreement that is signed by the judge and on file with the courts.
Her mom lives an hour away in a different county, this year my daughter started Pre-K. My daughter visits her mom every other weekend from Thursday night till Sunday night. Meaning her mom is responsible for two fridays a month of transportation to school. My daughter has missed 5 of her fridays in a row from school, and 8 total this year. Her mom lives at home with her parents at age 36, has three other kids that are not mine, doesn't work or have a job and gives no financial support for my daughter.
Recently I found out her mom has gotten two dui's in a three month span, the reason I filed for primary custody three years ago was because of alcohol issues, and coming home to find her breast feeding my daughter when she was drunk.
I have established my daughter in a stable loving life, with her being in school, playing sports, playing piano and doing other activities all with in my county, in fact all within a few miles of my home (which I own).
A stipulation of the agreement is that her parents (my daughters grandparents) are supposed to supervise the entire visit and be present the whole time. After her first dui I asked that they provide all transportation for my daughter and they agreed, I found out that wasn't happening and they were continuing to let my daughters mom drive, with my daughter in the car. She uses her parents car and received both DUI's in her parents vehicle. After her second dui I went to my lawyer and he said I needed to file for modification and ask for sole custody because my daughter is not safe in that situation. So I did so. However being the dad and hearing nothing but horror stories, I am worried about going to court and somehow her mom getting more time, instead of less time. The courts seem to be very reactive not proactive, but I was proactive and have withheld my daughter for her last weekend visit, until court. Her mom continues to drive (I've seen her driving her parents car) after her second dui, so I am guessing she is driving around on a suspended license? Or at least I'd hope it would be suspended after two dui's in three months.
My question is, am I doing the right thing? After showing texts and the background to a therapist she is convinced my ex is an alcoholic and has other major mental issues.
I am terrified that 1) this will backfire and I will lose time with my daughter or worse lose custody of her 2) I am scared that I work my butt off for my daughter, that I will lose her and have to pay her mom money 3) as much as I think this is the safest option for my daughter, I feel nothing but guilt that she doesn't get to see her mom right now, but it's not safe for her to go there.
I know this is a jumbled mess but I am just overwhelmed with anxiety right now.
I will keep this as short as possible, I live in Maryland, I am 35 year old single dad. My daughter is 5 1/2 and since she was 2 1/2 I have had primary custody of her, and tie breaking legal ability. In an agreement that is signed by the judge and on file with the courts.
Her mom lives an hour away in a different county, this year my daughter started Pre-K. My daughter visits her mom every other weekend from Thursday night till Sunday night. Meaning her mom is responsible for two fridays a month of transportation to school. My daughter has missed 5 of her fridays in a row from school, and 8 total this year. Her mom lives at home with her parents at age 36, has three other kids that are not mine, doesn't work or have a job and gives no financial support for my daughter.
Recently I found out her mom has gotten two dui's in a three month span, the reason I filed for primary custody three years ago was because of alcohol issues, and coming home to find her breast feeding my daughter when she was drunk.
I have established my daughter in a stable loving life, with her being in school, playing sports, playing piano and doing other activities all with in my county, in fact all within a few miles of my home (which I own).
A stipulation of the agreement is that her parents (my daughters grandparents) are supposed to supervise the entire visit and be present the whole time. After her first dui I asked that they provide all transportation for my daughter and they agreed, I found out that wasn't happening and they were continuing to let my daughters mom drive, with my daughter in the car. She uses her parents car and received both DUI's in her parents vehicle. After her second dui I went to my lawyer and he said I needed to file for modification and ask for sole custody because my daughter is not safe in that situation. So I did so. However being the dad and hearing nothing but horror stories, I am worried about going to court and somehow her mom getting more time, instead of less time. The courts seem to be very reactive not proactive, but I was proactive and have withheld my daughter for her last weekend visit, until court. Her mom continues to drive (I've seen her driving her parents car) after her second dui, so I am guessing she is driving around on a suspended license? Or at least I'd hope it would be suspended after two dui's in three months.
My question is, am I doing the right thing? After showing texts and the background to a therapist she is convinced my ex is an alcoholic and has other major mental issues.
I am terrified that 1) this will backfire and I will lose time with my daughter or worse lose custody of her 2) I am scared that I work my butt off for my daughter, that I will lose her and have to pay her mom money 3) as much as I think this is the safest option for my daughter, I feel nothing but guilt that she doesn't get to see her mom right now, but it's not safe for her to go there.
I know this is a jumbled mess but I am just overwhelmed with anxiety right now.