My husband and I are really going through the "fire" right now; there's a lot of details, but I'll be as concise as possible. I'll post my questions at the bottom regarding what we are going through.
We have been foster parents for almost two years. During that time, we have been blessed to have a few children in our home. Just last month, we were able to adopt our six year old after being in our home for about a year and a half. We have a two year old in our home who has been with us for close to the same length of time, so the two girls are sisters. This is what our situation is about. She came to our home last May as an emergency placement. She was nine months old at the time. We did not know how long she would be with us, as anything could turn around in her home situation. We did the visits, saw her mother progress, then regress in just a few short months. A termination hearing was set for December and her mother lost her rights. Also included in the list for termination was a man's name who the mother thought was the father, as well as all "John Doe's". In January, we began the process for adoption, and we were sooo excited! In our hearts, she had already become our daughter. We just loved her to pieces, and she had come a long ways in her growth and development.
After the case study was done, we waited to hear for the next step, but nothing came, so I called about it. I was told that they were still trying to contact the gentleman's name on the list to make sure rights were "rightfully" terminated. Well, I don't know how long they wait on these things, (or are supposed to), but we waited, and waited. We just wanted to proceed with her adoption, but weren't getting the help we needed. Then, in May, the caseworker called us and said that a gentleman claiming to be her biofather called and wanted to take a paternity test. Long story short...he took the test; it was positive...now things are moving towards him getting a treatment plan to gain custody. What we know about him is that he knew about his daughter, even though he was not married to her mother, so why now? The GAL and caseworker think that biomom may have something to do with this, but they can't prove it just yet. Things during the summer were slow, but since last month, there have been a few meetings and a couple of hearings. My husband and I have been approved as interveners and have hired a lawyer. However, it just seems as of late, that we are the last ones to hear about a hearing or meeting and it's tricky to get to places when you have a lawyer and my husband has two jobs. We have not been able to really "intervene" as of yet, and we've been frustrated. This week has been an especially emotional week, as I cannot imagine losing my little girl. I am her mommy; we are the only family she has ever known. She is a little over two years old, talking a lot and really knows how to communicate. I can't imagine her being with someone she's never met.
Now, for the questions and continued comments on this...need some additional advice for our family...
Anyway, the main argument has been that because he is "John Doe" that he should have never been let through the beginning process of this to begin with. We were told that there was a glitch in the paperwork. The GAL, caseworker and our lawyer all agree on this, but when it was contested in a hearing recently, the judge did not want to listen; just wanted to proceed with what the bio dad wants. Does anyone know of how a "loophole" could have been found in the paperwork to let him in?
The caseworker mentioned to me today that the judge is pretty fair, but that she goes by the law. For our state (CO), what law states that a bio parent has the right to gain custody if the foster parents have already begun the adoption process (as well as the argument above)?
The GAL has looked into the court of appeals and found nothing like this in our state, so she is filing an interlocutory appeal. This would finish this case for sure. If this does not go through, we are going to ask for a contested hearing. As interveners, how can we proceed to have our say on our daughter's behalf if it's been so hard to do so already? The judge has not heard us out, but yet, this bio dad gets to be heard and proceed with what he wants.
Our we allowed to ask for another judge....or have friends/family speak on our behalf as well ("friends of the court"--does it work in situations like this?)?
Now knowing the main gist of our story, do we as her parents have a chance of gaining custody? How often do foster parents win these kinds of things? What happened to what's in the best interest of the child? We are willing to fight up until higher courts, but we know it won't be easy. We just want it to be done now.
In my heart, I'm a hurting mother; I feel like I'm mourning a loss that hasn't happened. Our other daughter has no idea this is happening, but she has seen me shed some tears lately. She would definitely remember if little one left and so would the rest of our family and community. While this dad may have his reasons, he is not her true parent. There is no relationship. We are hoping for this to end soon in our favor, because everyone else as well as our little one would say that she should be with us.
Thanks for your time in answering my questions. Any suggestions and questions back for more details are welcomed. I just need lots of encouragement right now.
We have been foster parents for almost two years. During that time, we have been blessed to have a few children in our home. Just last month, we were able to adopt our six year old after being in our home for about a year and a half. We have a two year old in our home who has been with us for close to the same length of time, so the two girls are sisters. This is what our situation is about. She came to our home last May as an emergency placement. She was nine months old at the time. We did not know how long she would be with us, as anything could turn around in her home situation. We did the visits, saw her mother progress, then regress in just a few short months. A termination hearing was set for December and her mother lost her rights. Also included in the list for termination was a man's name who the mother thought was the father, as well as all "John Doe's". In January, we began the process for adoption, and we were sooo excited! In our hearts, she had already become our daughter. We just loved her to pieces, and she had come a long ways in her growth and development.
After the case study was done, we waited to hear for the next step, but nothing came, so I called about it. I was told that they were still trying to contact the gentleman's name on the list to make sure rights were "rightfully" terminated. Well, I don't know how long they wait on these things, (or are supposed to), but we waited, and waited. We just wanted to proceed with her adoption, but weren't getting the help we needed. Then, in May, the caseworker called us and said that a gentleman claiming to be her biofather called and wanted to take a paternity test. Long story short...he took the test; it was positive...now things are moving towards him getting a treatment plan to gain custody. What we know about him is that he knew about his daughter, even though he was not married to her mother, so why now? The GAL and caseworker think that biomom may have something to do with this, but they can't prove it just yet. Things during the summer were slow, but since last month, there have been a few meetings and a couple of hearings. My husband and I have been approved as interveners and have hired a lawyer. However, it just seems as of late, that we are the last ones to hear about a hearing or meeting and it's tricky to get to places when you have a lawyer and my husband has two jobs. We have not been able to really "intervene" as of yet, and we've been frustrated. This week has been an especially emotional week, as I cannot imagine losing my little girl. I am her mommy; we are the only family she has ever known. She is a little over two years old, talking a lot and really knows how to communicate. I can't imagine her being with someone she's never met.
Now, for the questions and continued comments on this...need some additional advice for our family...
Anyway, the main argument has been that because he is "John Doe" that he should have never been let through the beginning process of this to begin with. We were told that there was a glitch in the paperwork. The GAL, caseworker and our lawyer all agree on this, but when it was contested in a hearing recently, the judge did not want to listen; just wanted to proceed with what the bio dad wants. Does anyone know of how a "loophole" could have been found in the paperwork to let him in?
The caseworker mentioned to me today that the judge is pretty fair, but that she goes by the law. For our state (CO), what law states that a bio parent has the right to gain custody if the foster parents have already begun the adoption process (as well as the argument above)?
The GAL has looked into the court of appeals and found nothing like this in our state, so she is filing an interlocutory appeal. This would finish this case for sure. If this does not go through, we are going to ask for a contested hearing. As interveners, how can we proceed to have our say on our daughter's behalf if it's been so hard to do so already? The judge has not heard us out, but yet, this bio dad gets to be heard and proceed with what he wants.
Our we allowed to ask for another judge....or have friends/family speak on our behalf as well ("friends of the court"--does it work in situations like this?)?
Now knowing the main gist of our story, do we as her parents have a chance of gaining custody? How often do foster parents win these kinds of things? What happened to what's in the best interest of the child? We are willing to fight up until higher courts, but we know it won't be easy. We just want it to be done now.
In my heart, I'm a hurting mother; I feel like I'm mourning a loss that hasn't happened. Our other daughter has no idea this is happening, but she has seen me shed some tears lately. She would definitely remember if little one left and so would the rest of our family and community. While this dad may have his reasons, he is not her true parent. There is no relationship. We are hoping for this to end soon in our favor, because everyone else as well as our little one would say that she should be with us.
Thanks for your time in answering my questions. Any suggestions and questions back for more details are welcomed. I just need lots of encouragement right now.
, but right now, little one's lawyer doesn't want to go that route. I recently suggested meeting with the bio dad, so we'll see what happens. We are all about building relationships, and it was the way that our other daughter's bio mom backed down from her fight (it was no where near what we're going through now; she had gone backwards in her treatment plan but still thought there was time; the caseworker had to gently tell her there was no time left.) The caseworker had built a relationship with her, and I did, too, at the beginning and ending of the visits for several months. We wrote a letter and sent pictures and this helped her a lot. So, yes, we have always had it in our minds to do something...thanks for understanding.
