My brother fathered a child with his then wife in 1998. In 2000 they were divorced while he was in jail for non-payment of child support to his first wife (App. $30,000). He did eventually pay that back. (or go to prison)
After this divorce was final (nearly 10 years ago) he has not seen the child. He has not requested to see her. He actually wrote his exwife and said he didn't wnat to have anything to do with the child. He has paid 2 months of child support. He does not know where she lives nor anything about her. His ex-wife has remarried and now the child (age 13) is requesting that her step father adopt her. The mother has retained an attorney and has served him with the papers to sign to relinquish his rights. He is refusing to sign them and is counter-suing her for the right to see his child. (Although she has lived within 10 miles of him for the past 10 years and he has made no attempt whatsoever to contact her).
My siblings and I are hoping that we can talk him into signing the papers and letting this child have a stable, normal life. (My brother was convicted of molesting this child's stepbrother and did a stint in Utah Co jail for that--we have good reason to believe that he also molested this little girl).
None of us siblings are close to this man, in fact, I have not seen him for almost 10 years. He likes to "fly under the radar" so to speak, hasn't paid taxes or held a job for 15+ years. we are trying to help his ex-wife and hoping to encourage him to do the right thing, for once. We are all afriad of a court hearing, which can go anyway the judge determines.
I guess my question is this: what are the best strategies we can use to talk with him w/o causing him to feel as if he is losing all power (he has been dxed with Borderline Personality Disorder and "delusions of grandeur") He thinks the regular rules of life don't apply to him. IF he does have to go before a judge will the prior court records of child abuse/non payment of support come in to play? Will we as his siblings who KNOW what a crazy person he is be able to testify? I am terrified of him being able to have contact with this child. Any advice is appreciated.