amothersluv
New Member
My daughter was born 3-2-05. Her father and I were no longer together, never married. He seen her a couple of times during the first months of following her birth then no again for a couple of months. He filed for joint custody 6-05. August of 2005 I was awarded sole, legal, and physical custody of our daughter. He was to have supervised visitation of our daughter at his grandmothers and not to leave the county as he had moved 55miles away. He did not see our daughter until Christmas of 05. He had his girlfriend call and ask to take her to a family gathering for the day. I complied even though he had not seen her in so long and he was leaving the county. To sum the first year of her life up, he was not involved for 7 total months. He visited her a couple of times a months for a couple hours after she turned 1. November 2006 after him filing a motion to modify custody we agreed that he would rotate saturdays and sundays everyweek. Ex 1 weekend he got her for Sat then next weekend he got her Sun. There we no overnights. There was a reveiw set for 3 months off to see how this was working. Out of the 3 month period he missed 7 of his vistits. He justified them by saying it was weather, he was sick or that our daughter was sick. At this hearing in Feb he asked for 1 overnight visit. I declined because he never excercised half of the vistitaion during the last 3 months nor the previous visitation granted to him. I felt as if though he had not created a realtionship with our daughter to know her well enough to have over nights with him. During the prior vistits he would not return my phone calls when I was checkin on our daughter, he would not give me the cell phone number as well. He never communicated with me. At one point we went 9 months without speaking to each other. He has never called to check on his daughter, he has never asked questions about her habits or likings. At the last hearing he was awarded standard vistiation. The judge didn't seem to care about his prior involvement in our daughters life. Just recetly his missed 3 weekends in a row. Then when he picked her up after a month and a half she cried, kicked, and screamed to not go with him. I was worried after he left with her so I called to check on her, as usual he didn't answer nor return my call. I ended up contacting police to conduct a child welfare check. Following that visit he picked her up for his weekend and told me that he was keeping her for 2 weeks, he missed his 2 weeks which were June 1-15. This time he had to lure her with candy to get her to go with him. During the 2 weeks he had her he would not return my phone calls and I was not allowed to talk to her. I have never went that long without seeing my child or talking to her. I got no report from him upon her return. However I have had to start all over with potty trainging in which was almost over. Eating habits, sleeping habits have had to be readjusted. His last to visits were to be on July 3rd evening until July 4th @ 10pm. I refused this visitation as she had only been back from the 2 week visitation 2 nights, if he would have exercised the correct 2 weeks the 4th of July visitation would have not been a problem. This past weekend I heard nothing from him all day. I waited for him to come until 7:30 he is supposed to be there at 7. I was told by my attorney that I needed to wait no longer than 30 mins if he had not called to tell me he would be late. I left with my daughter to do some grocery shopping. He called and left a message on my phone at 7:48 saying that he was at my house. I did not return his call because he was late and I could not stop what i was doing to take her to him. At 9:00 a few minutes after returning home he began beating on my door. I was laying our daughter as she had fallen asleep on the way home. I called my husband and he called my ex and let him know that he didn't show up on time and didn't call. They argued over the phone for awhile. Finally my question is why wouldn't my husband be able to adopt my daughter? My ex has been half in half out. He refuses to communicate with me period. He does not act in the best interest of our daughter. I know if we petioned the court he would object but could a jury decide? We cannot go the next 16 years like this. Our daughter will be traumitized from all the fighting and arguing. I have went through a parent cordinator and he also refused and all the cordinator could tell me is that I cannot make him be a father. The judge didn't listen last time to everything and my attorney just said he was having a bad day and that we caught him at the wrong time. WHAT CAN I DO?
