2 children out of wedlock, their father keeps trying to take them away

[nickicrocker]

My sister in law has 2 boys and she never married their father. Now that they have split up, he is trying to take them. For instance, this past weekend, they were supposed to come home on Sunday night, and the Father told the boys to go into the house and get anything they would miss, they were never going back home. Luckily, one of the boys spoke up and said something, and she didn't let them leave. He had the youngest one in the truck with him, and he took off with him. Apparently, she has enough rights to file for food stamps,(she has 3 boys all together, and she isn't seeing anyone, so she is doing all of it on her own), as well as file for child support, but she doesn't have custody of them. No one will help her get the youngest child back, and now it is scary to even take them to school, the Grandma on their Father's side is calling and threatening to just pick them up from school early. My Sister in law went to the school this morning and they said that because she doesn't have the legal paper necessary, they can pick them up from school early if they wanted to. We are at a loss, and she doesn't have much money to hire an attorney. Where do we go from here?

 

[BayState]

My sister in law has 2 boys and she never married their father. Now that they have split up, he is trying to take them. For instance, this past weekend, they were supposed to come home on Sunday night, and the Father told the boys to go into the house and get anything they would miss, they were never going back home. Luckily, one of the boys spoke up and said something, and she didn't let them leave. He had the youngest one in the truck with him, and he took off with him. Apparently, she has enough rights to file for food stamps,(she has 3 boys all together, and she isn't seeing anyone, so she is doing all of it on her own), as well as file for child support, but she doesn't have custody of them. No one will help her get the youngest child back, and now it is scary to even take them to school, the Grandma on their Father's side is calling and threatening to just pick them up from school early. My Sister in law went to the school this morning and they said that because she doesn't have the legal paper necessary, they can pick them up from school early if they wanted to. We are at a loss, and she doesn't have much money to hire an attorney. Where do we go from here?

Mom need to post for herself if she is going to do this on her own. You will not be allowed to "speak" for her in court, so it is best if she deals with this on her own.

 

[Duranie]

The fact she was never married has little to do with anything. She still had the kids regardless and so many couples are doing this, marriage is not a requirement for the dad to have any rights. If paternity has been established, then Dad has rights until a court order says otherwise. She can call legal aid to see if they can help but she needs to get used to the idea that Dad has rights and she may have to split custody with him. She can also go down to the court/law library and file the paperwork herself.

The school does not get involved in custody disputes. Dad or an adult of his choice is free to pick the kids up. If she wants the kids back then she needs to file for custody. Dad is also free to ask for custody.

 

[mightymoose]

The school should not be releasing the children to anyone but the mother or father. Grandparents or anyone else would have to be listed on the school's permission list, which mom can change at any time. A well placed phone call to the district office should help to clear up the rules regarding pick up from school, and will probably help to put school staff on alert for anything regarding those children.

Anyway- with no court ordered custody/visitation order, both mom and dad have the same rights and access to the children. If dad has one of the kids then mom is still entitled to have access and visitation with that child. If dad deliberately prevents access to the child then there could be consequences for that (depends on your state law). Here in CA it would be considered concealment, and it would seriously hurt dad's chances of getting a favorable custody order.

The same rules apply to mom- she has to allow reasonable access and visitation to the kids in her care.

The sooner you get to the court and file for an emergency custody order (first one to the court usually wins) the sooner you can have the documentation you need. The initial order would stand until the matter is resolved in courts or mediation.