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16 with newborn baby, parents trying to keep dad out of the picture

Discussion in 'Paternity Law & DNA Tests' started by Caitlyn18, Jun 27, 2018.

  1. Caitlyn18

    Caitlyn18 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I've looked everywhere up and down for help answering this, but I've found nothing. I am 16 and just had a beautiful baby girl. Her dad couldn't be happier and I'm ecstatic too. I'm currently living with my parents, and they won't let him anywhere near her. They say that he has to get a paternity test to get some sort of legal thing done to see her. I get that and I know he is the father, but my question lies here. Can I file a complaint through the court on behalf of my daughter without my parents' permission or support? I need to know this because my parents will find any way to avoid the topics of custody, visitation, and child support. The father is more than willing to pay his fair share of child support. All he wants is to see his daughter. Thank you.
     
  2. Disabled Vet

    Disabled Vet Active Member

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    His fair share... Like a house to live in? Food? Diapers? Medical treatment? So tell him to give your parents about 2000.00 a month. Then they will see he is wanting to step up. Until the courts determine paternity. There is nothing he/you can do. Tell him he needs to get a lawyer and get this set up plus visitation.
     
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  3. cbg

    cbg Super Moderator

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    You are a minor. Until and unless paternity has been legally established and a court has granted visitation, your parents are GOD and what they say, goes. No, there is no complaint you can file against them. Tell BF to take the paternity test (yes, they can require it and a court may require it also) and to get his backside into court requesting visitation. Your parents don't have to allow him access until a court says they do. (And while a court may give him access to his daughter, they will not be giving him access to you, so if you want to see him again before your 18th birthday, you'd do well to play nice with Mom and Dad. Because if Mom and Dad say you can't see him at all, then you can't see him at all EVEN IF the court says he can see the baby.)
     
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  4. leslie82

    leslie82 Well-Known Member

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    All unmarried males have to establish their paternity through the court to get any parental rights. Until he does that, he has no rights to that child.

    Your parents control you until you're the age of majority. Period. They do not have control over your child. You control your child but at 16 there's not much you can do without your parents it sounds like.

    What's the "fair share" of child support? If he goes to court and establishes his right they'll be more than happy to set child support for him.

    Someday when my daughter is a teenager if she comes home and tells me she's pregnant at 16 you better believe that boy who knocked her up is not coming near her or the baby (if she keeps it) until a court order says he's allowed to do so. You'll find out soon enough what it means to be a parent. Your parents are looking out for you - their child - and their grandchild.

    If he wants to be a father he can go to court and get his rights established. If the court grants him visitation, your parents have to abide by that but that doesn't mean they have to let him in their home or near you. Just near the child.
     
  5. mightymoose

    mightymoose Moderator

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    I agree with everything above.
    How old is the father?
     
  6. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    Congratulations on the birth of a child.
    Now you have a great reason to make sure you finish high school and go to college or trade school.
    It'll take a great deal of income to provide the best things in life for the baby.
    How old is the person you believe fathered your beautiful baby?
     
    Disabled Vet likes this.
  7. Caitlyn18

    Caitlyn18 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    Okay, if I'm understanding right, I can't file a declaration of paternity alongside my boyfriend (he just turned 17)? If not then the paternity test is fine, but I was wondering if I have any rights to go to the court and file paperwork like that by myself on behalf of my daughter.
     
  8. Caitlyn18

    Caitlyn18 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    He just turned 17. And I have a plan for graduating this year by staying home. Thank you for the congratulations.
     
  9. Caitlyn18

    Caitlyn18 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    He just turned 17
     
  10. leslie82

    leslie82 Well-Known Member

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    Your boyfriend needs to go establish his paternity in court if he wants to be the father.

    What paperwork do you think you need to file on behalf of you or your daughter?

    Go here: Paternity

    That should answer all your questions. But you need to be worrying about your kid and not the baby daddy (alleged). I would bet that in a year you two won't be together still. You'll probably be back on here finding out how to track him down for child support.
     
  11. Caitlyn18

    Caitlyn18 Law Topic Starter New Member

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    I am worrying about my daughter. The thought of her not having a dad really bothers me because she's already attached after the hospital stay where he came and helped me. I don't care if the court would say he couldn't see me. I trust him with her and I don't trust many people with even holding her. I get that I'm only 16, but I'm fully capable of deciding what I know is best for her and this is it. He's going to pay child support because we already agreed on it. I just wanted to know if when he goes to get custody/visitation of her, will he need to go through my parents?
     
  12. mightymoose

    mightymoose Moderator

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    Yep. Establishing paternity is his problem. There is nothing for you to do.
    I agree it is unlikely the two of you will have anything to do with each other for long, especially once he turns 18, and even more so if your parents do not approve of him.
    You need to focus on the child, not the father. If the father is going to be there for you and the child it will happen without any effort from you.
     
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  13. zddoodah

    zddoodah Well-Known Member

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    A "complaint through the court"? I'm not sure what exactly you're talking about, but the answer is no.

    Ok. Your post indicates that he knows (or at least that you know) what he needs to do.

    No one wrote that, and no one here knows whether you have that ability.
     
  14. army judge

    army judge Super Moderator

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    As a minor child, your rights (as limited as they are) are only enforceable through your parents or guardians.

    No court in this country recognizes minors, meaning only your parents or guardians can litigate on your behalf.

    Minors are considered legal incompetents, legally courts recognize adults and corporations.

    Oddly enough, once your baby is born, you as her only lawful parent could bring litigation on the baby's behalf, but not on your behalf.

    In the USA, unmarried males who allege to be putative fathers of children born without benefit of marriage have no parental rights.

    The birth mom has all parental rights to such children.

    The male must establish paternity by DNA testing, seek visitatkon rights, and court ordered child support.

    Shared custody is off the table because mother's often nurse babies, which males can't do.

    As a minor too, the putative pappy, has zero rights himself.

    Until baby is born, te best thing the minor putative pappy can do is stay away from you.

    If he persists, he could end up going to jail.

    You need to make nice with your mommy and daddy until you become an adult.

    Read this and share with pappy how he must proceed to establish paternity:

    Paternity
     
  15. shrinkmaster

    shrinkmaster Well-Known Member

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    Ok your a minor and your parents have 100% control over who sees and spends time with their child (you). This does NOT cover your child though. Here is your problem your parents do NOT have to allow your BF into their home. Furthermore until he establishes paternity you has ZERO rights to see child. He needs to establish paternity and seek visitation order. He might also be ordered to pay some child support if hes working. If he wants to see his child he needs to go to court. Keepin mind being granted visitation of his child does not mean he can see you! Your parents can follow court order and still keep you from your BF. If you seek advice (non legal) from others who may dealt with similar issue try this forum (see link) which is hosted by this site.

    Parent Nook Forums - Index page
     
  16. leslie82

    leslie82 Well-Known Member

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    How do you know she's attached? She's apparently not that old.

    Okay little girl you need a serious wake up call. I get it you're young and this is your first kid - but you need to realize how reality works and not the fairy tale in your head.

    There's no guarantee you two stay together - in fact it's almost likely you two will break up. If you don't, you don't. That's fine. But what are you going to do if you guys break up and he decides he doesn't want to be a dad? He doesn't want to pay child support? Then how are you going to enforce your verbal agreement? However, if you have a court order because he established his paternity then you can take him to court if he doesn't pay the child support. If you don't have that you can't do anything to make him pay. Or help pay for medical or daycare.

    You need to realize how the real world works. And it's not what you think. At all. It's hard as hell to raise a kid no matter how old you are. You better realize that really quickly and stop worrying about the boyfriend. That's all I'm saying. If he wants to be in her life you can't make him. So if he wants to he'll go get his paternity established which will result in a child support order. If he doesn't, he won't. You can't do anything about it.

    IF he gets his paternity established (which HE has to do not you) then he may get visitation. IF he gets visitation, your parents can't stop him from seeing your daughter but they can stop him from seeing YOU. So what will probably happen is that you will go with your parents to meet him somewhere and exchange the child and you will not go with her. They have every right to stop you from seeing him until you're legally an adult. So until that happens if they don't want him near you, he won't be near you. So you better play nice with your parents if you want him to be around you for the next two years.

    So right now worry about your daughter - and less about the boyfriend. Kids are fine with just one parent. My daughter doesn't have her dad in her life because of his poor choices and she's fine as are her half siblings without him. My mom wasn't around and I had only my dad growing up - I turned out fine. You can't make your boyfriend be a man and take responsibility. He has to do it. If he does, great. If not, oh well. His loss.
     
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  17. cbg

    cbg Super Moderator

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    Let's be clear. There is NO action YOU can take to establish his paternity. NONE. ONLY he can do this. You + Court = Zero. Are you getting the message here?

    Then after he has established paternity, how he gets access to your daughter, if he gets access to your daughter, will be established BY THE COURT. This, by the way, will prevent your parents from blocking access if that is what you are concerned about. But yes, it is quite possible that he will have to go through them. We won't know until the court speaks, however, and the court will not speak until HE files a paternity action.
     
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  18. ElleMD

    ElleMD Well-Known Member

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    No one dreams one day their child will become an unwed mother at 16. Your parents wanted better for you and in their minds, this guy ruined that. They also probably not unrealistically fear that if he hangs around, they will soon become the grandparents of 2 babies born to an unwed teenage mother.

    Understand too that with infants, the unmarried father is typically only granted very limited visitation at first. That is going to go double for a teenage one. He *might* have a supportive family willing to help with baby care, but the court isn't granting the family visitation, they are granting him visitation. If he wants to up his odds and show a court he is serious about caring for his child, tell him to take some basic child care classes. The local health department, pediatric practice, hospital, or social services likely offers them at little or no cost.
     
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  19. zddoodah

    zddoodah Well-Known Member

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    That's not correct. Either the alleged father or the mother can file to establish paternity. Unwed mothers do that every day in every state because establishing paternity is a prerequisite to obtaining a child support order. The problem in this is case is that, because the mother (the OP) is a minor, she cannot take this action other than through her parents, unless Alaska has some funky law that would allow her to circumvent her parents in these circumstances.
     
  20. cbg

    cbg Super Moderator

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    Other Moms may be able to take action to establish paternity of their babies. This one cannot. Not unless she goes through her parents, which she has made clear she does not wish to do.
     
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