12 year old wants to live with father

[pnut322]

What is the age in which a child can have a say in who he lives with? My 12 year old wants to live with his father and I am having a hard time with it.

 

[momof279]

It depends on the state and in some cases the county in which you live. You'll have to look into your local or state laws.

 

[ss3seas]

My son just went to live with his Dad last week. He turned 12 two weeks ago. My other son (his brother) is 13 and went to live with him a couple of months ago. I am not an attorney but I think the law in Ga was that they had to be 14 but the courts will consider the child's wishes. Both of them signed affidavits at their Dad's house saying that they wanted to live with him. I took them to a PHD (as a 3rd party) to make sure that was their choice. They told him their Dad had promised to buy them certain things if they came to live with him. I also have a son that is a sophmore in college that I raised exclusively on my own. It wasn't easy. So unless the Dad is just really aweful /unsafe etc... you may want to just go with the change. If the child really wants to go and you fight it then you just have a resentful middle schooler/ teenager on your hands. He knows who his mom is and the time you spend together will be less but can be very precious too. Just be there when he needs you. I call my boys just a couple times a week. I give them space and they KNOW I care for them. I have started taking them out to dinner a couple times a month in addition to the visits I have every other weekend. Teenage boys can be difficult - you can choose to see this as a sad time but it can have a silver lining.

 

[mommyofjii]

Since when did parenting become what the child wants and wants it because of promised possessions. I think that ss3seas just gave up her boys so she wouldn't have to deal with them. Good grief seas you want to tell another mother how to mother her child and you sign yours away so you don't have to deal with them.

You need to talk to a lawyer and do research on your states laws about the child choosing. Many states don't allow a child to choose. It's more about who's been the primary care giver and for how long. In most cases there would have to be a court hearing due to change of custody. Don't just hand over your child without making sure that is what is best for your child, or unless you are ordered to. Parenting isn't easy and we can't just give up our children because they are unruly teenagers.

My God there would be alot of kids running chaos if allowed to do whatever they wanted.