100% Custody - Reason For Modification

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ConfusedCustodial

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Jurisdiction
Virginia
While I am waiting on a response from a lawyer i i figured I'd ask.

I have 100% Physical and Legal custody, with my ex having a visit every other weekend at the grandparents house.

I am working during Covid 19, some from home, some from work, never around people. During times I'm at work my child is at daycare. Which is an in home daycare on a farm, and my child is only one there.

The other parent doesn't work, lives with grandparents and has substance abuse.

However the other parent is saying they want to ask for modification because I have to work during the pandemic. We are still handling home school perfectly with me working. Just wondering, if they would have any grounds.
 
PayrollHRGuy said:
Sure he has "grounds". But it doesn't take much to have "grounds".
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I'm trying to ask, what from people's experience would a judge decide. I keep reading custody agreements are generally, "if it's not broke don't fox it"

There seems to be no answers for anything during the pandemic and things are just getting made up and the kids are suffering.
 
ConfusedCustodial said:
Just wondering, if they would have any grounds.
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"They"? Do you not know your child's other parent's gender? Anyway...

Grounds to ask? Absolutely. Will it happen? Probably not. Will it happen? Probably not. I'm guessing most courts will not be ruling on non-emergency motions for at least another month, and I don't think the situation you described constitutes any sort of emergency. However, only a family law attorney who regularly practices in the court that has jurisdiction over your case can truly give you an informed answer.

Zigner said:
The whole problem is that there are no experiences to fall back on. The last thing something similar to this has happened was over 100 years ago.
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Exactly, and back then, men either didn't bother with their children from a failed marriage or won most of these sorts of battles simply by virtue of gender.
 
zddoodah said:
"They"? Do you not know your child's other parent's gender? Anyway...

Grounds to ask? Absolutely. Will it happen? Probably not. Will it happen? Probably not. I'm guessing most courts will not be ruling on non-emergency motions for at least another month, and I don't think the situation you described constitutes any sort of emergency. However, only a family law attorney who regularly practices in the court that has jurisdiction over your case can truly give you an informed answer.



Exactly, and back then, men either didn't bother with their children from a failed marriage or won most of these sorts of battles simply by virtue of gender.
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I say they because the ex lives with her parents and while I know the don't have rights they are ordered to supervise the visits so I always refer to them as they. Also using terms like their and they makes it less easy if ex ever stumbled on this.
 
ConfusedCustodial said:
However the other parent is saying they want to ask for modification
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As long as the other parent is just "saying" and wants to "ask" (which sounds like hot air to me) you can ignore the other parent until and unless you get served with court papers.

When that happens you talk to a lawyer.

Meantime, would it kill you to refer to the other parent as "he" or "she"?
 
ConfusedCustodial said:
However the other parent is saying they want to ask for modification because I have to work during the pandemic. We are still handling home school perfectly with me working. Just wondering, if they would have any grounds.
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I suggest you distinguish "grounds" from "wants".

As my grandfather was fond of saying, "Boy, that dog won't hunt."

ConfusedCustodial said:
The other parent doesn't work, lives with grandparents and has substance abuse.
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I doubt that any competent jurist would take seriously the rambling, raving "wants" of a drug addicted fiend.

Why?

Courts consider the "best interests of the child"(as well as it's "safety") when making any decision that changes the "status quo" regarding child custody and/or visitation.
 
zddoodah said:
"They"? Do you not know your child's other parent's gender?
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Singular use of "they" is accepted use. Perhaps OP wants to avoid gender bias by keeping the pronouns used gender-neutral. Or perhaps their ex-spouse prefers the use of gender-neutral pronouns. Or, perhaps, their former spouse is gender-fluid and OP is unsure of which pronoun to use. Anyway...
 
stealthy1 said:
Singular use of "they" is accepted use. Perhaps OP wants to avoid gender bias by keeping the pronouns used gender-neutral. Or perhaps their ex-spouse prefers the use of gender-neutral pronouns. Or, perhaps, their former spouse is gender-fluid and OP is unsure of which pronoun to use. Anyway...
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For the record just ex, not ex spouse. The ex also has other children who live with their other parents (not my ex) as well. My ex has been consistently calling the other children (I have built a friend type relationship with the other parent, in hopes of making sure all kids are safe) but not calling my child. I even bought my child a phone so there is easy access for contact while I'm working at home during this time and on my phone frequently.

Now I'm worried about sending my child for the next visitation on Easter.
 
ConfusedCustodial said:
For the record just ex, not ex spouse. The ex also has other children who live with their other parents (not my ex) as well. My ex has been consistently calling the other children (I have built a friend type relationship with the other parent, in hopes of making sure all kids are safe) but not calling my child. I even bought my child a phone so there is easy access for contact while I'm working at home during this time and on my phone frequently.

Now I'm worried about sending my child for the next visitation on Easter.
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My apologies for the assumption. As for Easter... you have to follow the court order or risk being found in contempt if she files and/or whenever the courts are back in session. I'm not sure whether your state has issued any guidelines regarding parenting time during the current situation. In any event, you may find this useful reading:

New Battle for Those on Coronavirus Front Lines: Child Custody
 
stealthy1 said:
My apologies for the assumption. As for Easter... you have to follow the court order or risk being found in contempt if she files and/or whenever the courts are back in session. I'm not sure whether your state has issued any guidelines regarding parenting time during the current situation. In any event, you may find this useful reading:

New Battle for Those on Coronavirus Front Lines: Child Custody
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Thanks I will read over it, I went to our states website and it clearly states to follow the custody agreement, and that is considered essential driving reasons. My concern is even though I have 100% custody, the other parent wouldn't return my child and with courts closed I don't have much recourse.
 
I commented on the wrong post, sorry everyone
Worried Dad said:
Thanks I will read over it, I went to our states website and it clearly states to follow the custody agreement, and that is considered essential driving reasons. My concern is even though I have 100% custody, the other parent wouldn't return my child and with courts closed I don't have much recourse.
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stealthy1 said:
Singular use of "they" is accepted use. Perhaps OP wants to avoid gender bias by keeping the pronouns used gender-neutral. Or perhaps their ex-spouse prefers the use of gender-neutral pronouns. Or, perhaps, their former spouse is gender-fluid and OP is unsure of which pronoun to use. Anyway...
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Nope, that's not it at all. The OP used "they" to refer to a plurality of people:
ConfusedCustodial said:
I say they because the ex lives with her parents and while I know the don't have rights they are ordered to supervise the visits so I always refer to them as they.
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stealthy1 said:
Only explaining that after he was called out on the usage, which was unnecessary. "They" remains valid singular usage.
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I don't disagree.
However...
In this case, it's an important distinction, and the explanation adds additional information. Requesting the explanation was valid.
 
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