Trying to get out of support for a child that isn't mine

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UsedIllusion

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8 years ago I signed the papers for a child when I was 20 years old. I thought I was in love with his mother and it turns out, I was not. I knew that he wasn't mine when I signed the paternity papers. I have been trying to get out of paying for this child for at least 3 years now, and I keep getting mixed answers. 3 years ago I had a legitimate daughter whom I am having trouble supporting (I'm still with and plan on marrying her mother) due to paying for the previously mentioned child. Is there any way at all to get out of the original support order? I've already signed over my paternity rights. Please Help!
 
I'm sorry, but it's far too late for you to challenge paternity.

When you say you've signed over your rights, you're talking about custodial rights, aren't you?

(Because had you actually had your rights terminated you wouldn't be paying child support).

Frankly at this point the only person who would stand a chance at challenging your paternity would be the child's biological father.

Other than that, you're out of luck.

You're the child's legal father.
 
So the justice system is okay with me paying for a child that is not mine, while my actual biological child suffers? That's awesome.
 
UsedIllusion said:
So the justice system is okay with me paying for a child that is not mine, while my actual biological child suffers? That's awesome.
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Why, yes the justice system IS okay with you paying for a child that is not yours for whom you illegally claimed paternity and held out as your own child.

Why shouldn't it? YOU signed a legal document stating that YOU are the child's father.

It's not the fault of the justice system that you subsequently had another child you can't support.
 
UsedIllusion said:
So the justice system is okay with me paying for a child that is not mine, while my actual biological child suffers? That's awesome.
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You chose to be Dad to the first child. So the child is absolutely yours.

Frankly if you were struggling financially, you perhaps shouldn't have had another child.

This is the way the court will see it.

You made your choice.
 
So a 20 year old is supposed to know what they're jumping into at that age. God forbid someone does something because they think they're in love. No one has ever done something stupid when they were young and in love.
 
Yeap, we get that.

The thing is, there are consequences for our actions.

You being responsible for your child - and this IS your child, legally - is just one of those consequences.

I take it you don't want anything to do with your child?

Has Mom remarried?
 
I don't know if it is possible or not, but instead of judging you for, lets call it a mistake, I would suggest you speak to an attorney in your area who specializes in family law. If it is possible, I think it would be much easier than trying by yourself. I also don't think it wise of the mother to let a lie go on as to who the child's father is. That can only cause harm to the child later on down the road. Just an opinion though.
 
MorgansDaddy said:
I don't know if it is possible or not, but instead of judging you for, lets call it a mistake, I would suggest you speak to an attorney in your area who specializes in family law. If it is possible, I think it would be much easier than trying by yourself. I also don't think it wise of the mother to let a lie go on as to who the child's father is. That can only cause harm to the child later on down the road. Just an opinion though.
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In Pennsylvania, there is a 60 day window on rescinding an AOP unless it was signed as a result of fraud or duress. Neither of those apply here.
 
Yes, the mom remarried. She knows who the real father is, but he makes less money than I do, so she chooses to go after me for support. She can't keep a job and she just had another kid with her husband. This of course means that I will now be paying for this kid as well. I'm really close to quitting my job and getting a new one where I make way less money just because I know if I made less, then she would probably eventually give it up. Plus, she doesn't deserve it as far as I'm concerned. I figure if I'm going to bring home a third of what I actually earn, I might as well get an easier job and make less.
 
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Proserpina, is there any way I could terminate my rights? Or a way I could go back to court and try to get custodial rights again? If I got full custody, I'm sure she would challenge it, and then maybe drop it all together.
 
UsedIllusion said:
Yes, the mom remarried, and she's a piece of shit. She knows who the real father is, but he makes less money than I do, so she chooses to go after me for support. She can't keep a job and she just had another kid with her husband. This of course means that I will now be paying for this kid as well. I'm really close to quitting my job and getting a new one where I make way less money just because I know if I made less, then she would probably eventually give it up. Plus, she doesn't deserve it as far as I'm concerned. I figure if I'm going to bring home a third of what I actually earn, I might as well get an easier job and make less.
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You're still the daddy. You talk about the mom being <insert colorful metaphor here> when you are no better. YOU decided to be this child's daddy even though you know you weren't and now you want to dump said child??? I'd say you're the bottom of the <insert same colorful metaphor here> barrell.

And to make you even more scummy, you want to become underemployed so that both children have less. Ahhh you win the academy award for FOCUS
 
UsedIllusion said:
Proserpina, is there any way I could terminate my rights? Or a way I could go back to court and try to get custodial rights again? If I got full custody, I'm sure she would challenge it, and then maybe drop it all together.
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If Mom is willing to have her husband adopt the child, your rights would be terminated as part of that proceeding.

As for the rest of your post...wow.

You're willing to use your child as a tool? You don't think your child deserves your support?

Really?

And you're calling MOM a piece of sh&t?

Edit: You have absolutely no chance whatsoever of getting full custody. In fact I doubt you stand much chance to get ANY type of custody.
 
Some men request paternity (DNA) tests to overcome the assumption/presumption of paternity (AOP) they've foolishly or mistakenly undertaken.

Can you?

Talk with an attorney and see what your legal position might be in regards to what you term a "mistake".

Seek a paternity test and see.

I've seen men do this (not necessarily with your fact pattern) and the court ordered the woman to repay all support they had expended.

Your outcome could be different.

In the future, never admit to anything you know to NOT be true.

If you know the REAL biological father, I'm sure he would want to know he has a child.

I sure would.

Contact him and tell him the truth.

He has the right to know.

He might want to assert his true paternity rights!!!


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You caused this yourself and you cannot wiggle out of this 8 or 9 years later. You cannot legally dump a child because you no longer want to pay for it. your thought process here is ridiculous.

If I were you, get visitation with this child. If you file for visits and maybe joint custody, then maybe mom will want her husband to adopt. Until this child though is adopted, you pay support. It is VERY unlikely you can get a DNA test and your name removed off the birth cert this late in the game. Sorry for your problems but you did this yourself. If you voluntarily quit your job, you still may be on the hook for the same support amount. Courts do not allow parents to do this.

So, if you see an attorney and file for visitation, and rights to the child, MAYBE mom will then decide she wants her hubby to adopt.
 
As has been mentioned, OP no longer has any legal standing to challenge paternity.
 
Army Judge & Morgansdaddy: The real father knows he has a kid, but he is also a piece of shit, and doesn't care obviously :/

Antigone: Child in question: Not mine! As for me being at the bottom of the "shit barrel", say what you will. His mother could easily choose to do the right thing and let me move on in my life and stop lying to this kid, but she won't. I make more money, and she knows that, and it's the only reason she hasn't gone after the real father.

Proserpina: Again, this kid is not mine, and I'm not using him as a tool. I'm pretty sure by his mother using the support to punish me like she has been for the past 8 years, she's proven that she is the one using him as a tool. I just want this part of my life to be over so I can move on and raise my actual child without any reminders of a decision I made when I was 20 years old.
Even if I was using him as a tool, I don't care. HE'S NOT MINE His mother and her husband could do the right thing and stop torturing me with this support crap and adopt him (I offered to pay for it, and she refused). They could eliminate me from the picture all together if they would drop the support and raise him like a responsible adult family, then I wouldn't have the option to "use him as a tool"
 
This child IS YOURS LEGALLY.

I'm sorry but I don't know how else to say this.

You are this child's LEGAL FATHER. He is LEGALLY YOUR SON.

YOU took on the responsibility.

He is YOUR CHILD.

Biology, at this point, is completely irrelevant.

Why is this so hard for you to understand?
 
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