visitation

[momheart]

my ex has moved over 300 miles away. he claims job temp. but i have been told by family it's perm job. He has a 2 bdr apt there. he has a house here and his wife is living here.

He has not been in town but having stepmom exercise his visitation time. He claims he's in town and has her pick up child but isn't in town. Today he claimed she is her legal guardian because her name is in our papers. I advised him that was just so only her an him could pick up or child and not anyone else. long story short she had teenagers so we put only her or him.

1. can step mom take visitation when father not in town?
2. he claims because this is temp then normal visitation applies? Is there a way to find out if job is temp. I find it hard to believe its not perm.
3. Can I force only father to pick up child since they have now shown he's not in town when he states he is.
4. does inability to exercise visitation fall under this.

 

[army judge]

my ex has moved over 300 miles away. he claims job temp. but i have been told by family it's perm job. He has a 2 bdr apt there. he has a house here and his wife is living here.

He has not been in town but having stepmom exercise his visitation time. He claims he's in town and has her pick up child but isn't in town. Today he claimed she is her legal guardian because her name is in our papers. I advised him that was just so only her an him could pick up or child and not anyone else. long story short she had teenagers so we put only her or him.

1. can step mom take visitation when father not in town?
2. he claims because this is temp then normal visitation applies? Is there a way to find out if job is temp. I find it hard to believe its not perm.
3. Can I force only father to pick up child since they have now shown he's not in town when he states he is.
4. does inability to exercise visitation fall under this.

I do not wish you to take my answers in a negative light.
The answers I've provided are not meant to be mean.
My answers may appear harsh, that is because they are frank.

You have no ability or authority to make him (or any other person) to do anything.
Of course, the reverse applies, no one can make you do anything, either.
You are required to obey the spirit and the letter of a court order.
If you don't, you risk contempt charges being lodged against you.

A judge can order your "ex" to do something, or not to do something.
If the court order allows your "ex" and/or his mother to pick up the child from you, then that is what you must do; give either one of them the child.
If the order fails to mention the mother, then you aren't required to give her the child.

If your husband lets the child visit her, that isn't odd.
Dad's mom is the child's grandmother.
I'm sure your child spends time with your mother, too.

If you want to have the order changed, you go back to court and tell it to the judge.
You don't tell it to your "ex" or his mother.
This little game of "gotcha" will continue until the child becomes an adult.

What dad does with the child is none of your business.
What you do with the child is none of dad's business.
Where dad works or goes is none of your business.
Where you go or work is none of dad's business.

You and he have very good reasons you are apart.
I suggest you not to attempt to force anyone to do anything.
That is best left to the courts.

You'd be better off following the court's orders.
If you desire changes to the current order, petition the court for a hearing on the merits.
Until the judge changes the order, obey it.

 

[irish223]

If your husband lets the child visit her, that isn't odd.
Dad's mom is the child's grandmother.
I'm sure your child spends time with your mother, too.

Dad's MOM is not using his visitation time.... Dad's WIFE is, the stepmom.

Originally Posted by momheart
He has not been in town but having stepmom exercise his visitation time.

OP, the actual advice was correct: If you want only the father to pick up the child, then you'll have to go back to court.

Your ex is wrong that his wife is a legal guardian simply because she is named in the order as someone who is allowed to pick up the child for visitation.

The stepmom is not entitled to exercise her husband's visitation unless the court gives her that right, and that generally only occurs when there is a half-brother or -sister in the home.

However, are you sure that the father is NOT home on those weekends? It's not so unrealistic to believe that the father drives 300 miles every other weekend (if that's the visitation), leaving after work on Friday and leaving to return early Sunday afternoon.

If that's the case, and stepmom is picking the child up because the father gets home late in the evening, then your request to the court will probably seem petty. Nor will it matter if the job is temporary or permanent, if the father is actually exercising his time.

 

[momheart]

father is not in town for sure. He has a M-F job and not able to come up for visit. She is also wanting his thur visit which obviously he can't make.

 

[army judge]

father is not in town for sure. He has a M-F job and not able to come up for visit. She is also wanting his thur visit which obviously he can't make.

She's pinch hitting for dad. This makes dad appear to be actively engaged with his child. This is an (if not diabolically evil) effective tactic for dad. It will be hard to prove dad wasn't there some of the time.

 

[PQN2]

If dad is not in town, then refuse to send the child and let him take you to court. The visitation time is for dad only. If there are half-sibs or step-sibs that the child wants to see or if the child wants to see step-mom, then I would arrange some visits for the benefit of the child. But he cannot transfer his time to his wife, nor is she legally anything to the child.