Temporary Restraining Order

[James889]

Jurisdiction

Florida

Hello, my ex wife got a Temporary Restraining Order against me. She has been the abusive one in our marriage, but now she claims I am the abusive one. She got a TPO by lying and she has some people in her family that might lie as well for her, plus one of my former landlords that I parted on bad terms with (she wanted to throw me out with a 3 days notice and when I refused she got super mad. I've have some video evidence that my ex was verbally abusive towards me, and some text messages. How worried should I be that a permanent injunction will be granted? Her lawyer offered me today that we at the term "NON-HOSTILE contact only" in the divorce decree and to dismiss the injunction (my ex would have to agree as well which isn't certain). Should I accept that offer? I am worried that it is too easy to get a permanent injunction in Florida, and that she would win the case.

 

[adjusterjack]

This is a common tactic used by women during a divorce. Despite their insistence on equality, there is still a double standard in this country. They feign being the weaker sex in court and judges err on the side of caution by granting restraining orders that result in men being removed from their own homes.

You're right, it's too easy for a woman to get you put out of your home.

My ex-wife did that to me during our divorce.

I hope you have a good lawyer. Otherwise you are likely to get steamrolled.

 

[James889]

The divorce is already over (she coerced to sign away overnights with my kid and all assets by threatening to get me arrested for DV and deported). She definitely would have won. Now, I filed to vacate the final divorce decree and that TPO is her retaliation.

I can't afford a lawyer, so should I try to settle the case (her lawyer offered to put a "non violent communication clause in the divorce, this way I at least don't have it on my record when I apply for a new job). There is nothing I did wrong, but she and her family will stick together and lie about me. I've also heard that judges sent to give permanent injunctions away too easy to cover their themselves.

 

[adjusterjack]

Your ex can claim "hostile" under a variety of circumstances. Maybe you should have a list of behavior that you agree not to engage in, instead of just "hostile."

The decision is up to you.

 

[army judge]

Should I accept that offer?

Before you do, don't do, or agree to ANYTHING; I suggest you hire yourself a family law or criminal law attorney.

The WORST thing you could do is act upon FREE advice received from UNKNOWN, ANONYMOUS internet creatures!!!!

 

[leslie82]

This is a common tactic used by women during a divorce. Despite their insistence on equality, there is still a double standard in this country. They feign being the weaker sex in court and judges err on the side of caution by granting restraining orders that result in men being removed from their own homes.

You're right, it's too easy for a woman to get you put out of your home.

My ex-wife did that to me during our divorce.

I hope you have a good lawyer. Otherwise you are likely to get steamrolled.

It's not really always that easy and quite often times, most women aren't believed with DV. I wasn't believed by the cops the first time I reported it. It dragged on for 2 months because he lied about what happened and the prosecutor said it was he said/ she said. The cop who took the report, a woman, actually ended up believing my ex and then meeting him off duty discussing the case, telling him she didn't believe me (verified by the male detective they reassigned to it).

There are also cases of reactive abuse. It's never as cut and dry as you make it. Also women - we want equity, not equality. And most women don't "feign being the weaker sex." We are not often taken seriously when it comes to DV or sexual assault/rape. That's all I will say on this then. Not really looking to debate it. Also not saying men never are victims either.