Student Loan Repayment (Dad had separate agreement with daughter that Mom was not privy to)

[Sofia L.A.]

Jurisdiction

North Carolina

Good evening and thank you so much for any insight. A little background: I, (56F), have a daughter who graduated from a North Carolina state university in 2016. I am divorced from her father (58M) since 2007. Our divorce agreement required that her tuition/room/board would be split equally between him, me, and our daughter. In 2016, her father paid 1/3 of the tuition/room/board. Also, when my daughter graduated she enrolled in graduate school, and then Covid hit. As you know, student loan repayment was just recently reinstated.

Current problem: Father emailed me that he feels he overpaid back in 2016. Evidently, during my daughter's second year when she rented an apartment with her friend, her father said he would help pay for 2/3 of the rent that year. This was an agreement between him and my daughter, and it totaled $450/month for the year and was paid to the apartment complex not related to the university. My daughter believed he was just helping her and did not know that he intended to take it out of his portion of the tuition/room/board. Now the father is coming after me, demanding that I repay him approximately $1900, saying that he overpaid his portion back in 2016. He thinks I should pay this to him now, and that it should be deducted from the last five payments of $416 that he still owes me from a separate contract related to our divorce (not alimony or child support).

I would like to tell him that I do not owe him this money since it was not an agreement I was part of, that student loan payments have only just been reinstated so I certainly don't owe him a lump payment, and in fact may not actually owe him anything at all. What should I do?

 

[army judge]

What should I do?

Only you can decide what you do.

If you disagree with his assessment, reply in writing as to why you arrived at a different conclusion.

Based upon your recitation of events, you were never a party to the agreement he and your daughter made.

He dug the hole in which he now complains about.

In my view, its up to him to extricate himself.

I don't see you owing him anything regarding the deal he made with your daughter.

 

[adjusterjack]

I would like to tell him that I do not owe him this money since it was not an agreement I was part of,

Then tell him that.

I agree with Army Judge that you don't owe him. He volunteered to subsidize his daughter's apartment. Has nothing to do with you.

 

[zddoodah]

Now the father is coming after me, demanding that I repay him approximately $1900, saying that he overpaid his portion back in 2016. He thinks I should pay this to him now, and that it should be deducted from the last five payments of $416 that he still owes me from a separate contract related to our divorce (not alimony or child support).

So...basically, he owes you $2,080 and intends to pay you only $180 after deducting the $1,900. Right?

I would like to tell him that I do not owe him this money since it was not an agreement I was part of, that student loan payments have only just been reinstated so I certainly don't owe him a lump payment, and in fact may not actually owe him anything at all. What should I do?

Tell him whatever you like. If he deducts the $1,900 and only pays you $180 on your separate contract, then you will get to make the decision whether or not to take the matter to the court. I assume this is a "contract" relating to equalization of marital asset division, so you'd probably have to take it back to the divorce court, although small claims court would be more sensible.

If you were looking for an assessment of the legalities, we'd need to review the divorce decree and the separate contract and get a more clear explanation of the agreement by which your ex paid a share of your daughter's rent and an explanation why you think that's not something that should have been split between the three of you pursuant to the divorce decree.