Striving to be a good dad

Status
Not open for further replies.
J

jojax14u

New Member
My exgirlfriend has custody of our 4 year old daughter. She lives married with her husband in Hawaii. I left Hawaii to pursue college and I have always strived to maintain a quality relationship with my daughter. I forfeited my rights to a preternity test because I want her as my daughter no matter what. At the same time in court I was entitled "reasonable visitation rights", and I was to always be furnished current phone numbers, addresses, and health records. My exgirlfriend has avoided my phone calls for 3-1/2 years. All correspondence has to go through my daughter's grandparents and they do not like me. She has refused to offer phone numbers, addresses, and health records. I have always paid child support and have asked to pay more. I've had scheduled visits with my daughter and have been stood up alone on multiple occasions. I have called my exgirlfriend over 50 times in past 4 years and have not been answered.

My exgirlfriend told her parents to tell me she does not read my xmas cards to my daughter because I sign them with "dad", that my daughter can not have contact with me because she does not know me and I would confuse and traumatise her. My daughter does not know me because they have not let me spend time with her during our scheduled visits and they do not let me call her. Last night after desperatly begging to wish my daughter a merry xmas, I was told to leave a message and they will play the voicemail for my daughter.

Since my daughter was 6 months old my exgirlfriends family has said to be patient and I will have a relationship with my daughter. They have told me that they will gradually build my relationship with my daughter and they have done nothing but play me. I believe that they are trying to get me to wait until my daughter is old enough to brainwash her that I am a bad person. Please advise and let me know what I can do and what I am entitled to. Thank You.
 
Time to hire an attorney to get a specific visitation order. The "reasonable visitation" is not good enough as its not specific. Time to get an attorney and file contempt on mom for not allowing visits, and to get a more specific order.
As far as child support, I would not be paying mom anything more than court ordered but if you do pay more, bring proof of it to court. The courts might not be too happy with mom for just using you as a meal ticket. The fact you moved out of HI though is problematic, you will likely be on the hook for all visitation costs.
 
Is it possible to get partial custody when I move back to Hawaii within a year even though my daughter does not know me? I believe they planned for her not to know me so I could never get any type of custody. Yesterday I was threatened by my exgirlfirend's father that they could easily file a restraining order for my "harassment", as I do call at least monthly requesting rights for my daughter. Could they get a restraining order on me? At what point are my unfulfilled requests "harassment"? Does it hurt me bad in front of the courts that I moved away from my pregnant exgirlfriend to California? Please advise. Thank You.
 
How do you edit or erase your posts

The Help FAQ says to click on the EDIT button next to your post. And that the administrator may not have that as an option. Does our administrator not allow editing and deleting your posts?
 
jojax14u said:
Is it possible to get partial custody when I move back to Hawaii within a year even though my daughter does not know me? I believe they planned for her not to know me so I could never get any type of custody. Yesterday I was threatened by my exgirlfirend's father that they could easily file a restraining order for my "harassment", as I do call at least monthly requesting rights for my daughter. Could they get a restraining order on me? At what point are my unfulfilled requests "harassment"? Does it hurt me bad in front of the courts that I moved away from my pregnant exgirlfriend to California? Please advise. Thank You.
Click to expand...

Ya, the sad part is, they can get a temp. restraining order. You have a right to some visitation, but everyday that goes by is in your ex's favor.

You may be able to get more than just partial custody, just depends on what you take to court.

The one positive, if you can call it that, that I see, is the whole thing of the entire family keeping you from your child.

There is something calle "Parental alienation syndrome" or PAS. Dr. Richard Gardner wrote a book called Parental Alienation Syndrome", you may want to read up on that.

Document everything, you will need it later.
 
thanks for all the help, now how do I erase my posts

How do You edit or erase your posts. THis site is great, Thanks for all the help!
 
What you really need to do is hire an attorney in HI. They can best represent you. You can still get partial custody. I would document everything until you go to court. PAS does not legally exist in most states but it does happen, but hard to prove. I suppose her father could try to file an RO bnut he doesnt really have any grounds too because you have not threatened it. If you can pove her parents have interfered in you having a relationship with a chold that may help you. Since mom and her family are playing hardball, time to get an attorney.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Share this page

Get a free case review from a lawyer
Back
Top