joan connolly
New Member
- Jurisdiction
- New York
Hello,
I am looking into the "rights of disposition" in New York State. I am astounded to learn that the spouse has all the rights when it comes to dealing my parents human remains. From my research I have discovered that being an adult child means that I have no rights regarding how my mothers remains were handled.
Unfortunately, this law is very devastating for my personal situation. My mother had a dysfunctional family and they refused to communicate with me regarding pretty much everything after we learned that she had been walking around with a lethal time bomb of a brain tumor for a number of years. It manifested as a major seizure on the drive home from work.
Her live in lover took the opportunity to gain full control over the tragedy and snuck her off to be married, so he could get the benefit of our tragedy. He also made arrangement to go as cheap as her could on dealing with her remains and left me out in the dark. The only comfort I have is that her mother was taking care of her before she died and knew of his plans.
My question in all of this, why does New York give the spouse so much power when there is a tragedy regarding the state of ones health and life. I am astounded to learn I had no real rights. Her so called spouse has moved on with his life and frankly, I doubt he spends five minutes thinking about her these days, except maybe to cash a social security check. I as the daughter, frankly don't know where her remains are and I am told that I look just like her, seem like her. I am her legacy. However, I lost my control over our relationship. These laws didn't help me or her. They hurt us terribly. I want to know why these laws are they way they are. Can someone please tell me?
I am looking into the "rights of disposition" in New York State. I am astounded to learn that the spouse has all the rights when it comes to dealing my parents human remains. From my research I have discovered that being an adult child means that I have no rights regarding how my mothers remains were handled.
Unfortunately, this law is very devastating for my personal situation. My mother had a dysfunctional family and they refused to communicate with me regarding pretty much everything after we learned that she had been walking around with a lethal time bomb of a brain tumor for a number of years. It manifested as a major seizure on the drive home from work.
Her live in lover took the opportunity to gain full control over the tragedy and snuck her off to be married, so he could get the benefit of our tragedy. He also made arrangement to go as cheap as her could on dealing with her remains and left me out in the dark. The only comfort I have is that her mother was taking care of her before she died and knew of his plans.
My question in all of this, why does New York give the spouse so much power when there is a tragedy regarding the state of ones health and life. I am astounded to learn I had no real rights. Her so called spouse has moved on with his life and frankly, I doubt he spends five minutes thinking about her these days, except maybe to cash a social security check. I as the daughter, frankly don't know where her remains are and I am told that I look just like her, seem like her. I am her legacy. However, I lost my control over our relationship. These laws didn't help me or her. They hurt us terribly. I want to know why these laws are they way they are. Can someone please tell me?
