- Jurisdiction
- Missouri
ok, here goes.
Was married for the first time at age 27. Had first child with husband at 29.
Shortly after our child was born, my husband became very depressed, angry, abusive. The entire family figured it was some type of new father anxiety reaction or just a bad faze. After nearly 3 years of hell, I filed for divorce and moved in with a female friend of mine. Found out my female friend was actually sleeping with my husband from which I had recently legally separated. So, being an idiot, knowing nothing about the divorce process, I moved in with a man I had known for over 8years, and began a relationship. Ended up pregnant(yea, I don't know WHAT I was thinking) it didn't work out, moved back in with my husband when I was 7 months pregnant. My husband knew it wasn't his baby. I knew it wasn't his baby. The whole family knew but we wanted to give our marriage another try and decided to put him on the birth certificate and live happily ever after. Well, as you can probably guess, it didn't work out. Not at all.
Things got much worse, he was arrested for domestic violence/assault when the baby was 6 months old. After that, I had a full order of protection and he had supervised visitation with the children. That was SEVERAL years ago. His visitation never changed from supervised to unsupervised because he never followed any plans by the judge for the transition so his visits remained supervised for nearly 6 years.
Meanwhile, I moved in with my new husband about a year after my husband was arrested. We were living together, unmarried, for a long time. It was very hard divorcing my ex husband because he made everything very difficult. So, I lived with my husband(we were finally able to marry after my divorce finally happened 2 years ago), for a few years and had another child before I was able to divorce my ex husband. I know it sounds horrible. It was. We mostly just lived like a happy family and forgot about the ex. The children still went to the court ordered supervised visits but the ex showed up maybe once every six weeks. Sometimes not for months at a time.
My ex husband never bonded with the child who was not technically his. He was arrested when she was 6 months old, rarely showed up for visitation and overall doesn't seem to care for her. I think the only reason he has not contested the paternity is because his parents adore her. He does what his parents want. They pay all of his bills, always, including child support. After our separation, he has mostly just been on drugs and never had a real job or any interest in either of the children.
My daughter is now 6 years old. My ex husband is in more trouble, now, for abusing our son, our first child, who is now 9. It wasn't bad enough abuse to be prosecuted but enough to piss off the judge some more. The grandparents(they enable the ex to never get his act together) are afraid the judge will be taking away more of the ex's rights and access to the children. So, the grandparents have hired a lawyer to get separate, third party visitation to both children, separate from the ex.
My husband and I have a very good, happy, healthy life with our children except for the drama brought about by my ex husband and his parents. My husband has been living with me and my children since 2011. We have a child together, my 6 year old's little sister. They love each other and even share a room... except for when my son and 6 year old daughter always are required to leave for visitations-when the ex rarely shows up. The grandparents are threatening to take the children for separate visitation, giving my son and 6year old less time here. Is this a good time to maybe let the judge know that my 6 year old is not my ex's biological child or will the judge likely slap me for bringing it up after all of this? I know I cant keep my son out of the toxic situation with visiting the ex and grandparents but if I can save my 6 year old from it all, shouldn't I try? Or no?
Was married for the first time at age 27. Had first child with husband at 29.
Shortly after our child was born, my husband became very depressed, angry, abusive. The entire family figured it was some type of new father anxiety reaction or just a bad faze. After nearly 3 years of hell, I filed for divorce and moved in with a female friend of mine. Found out my female friend was actually sleeping with my husband from which I had recently legally separated. So, being an idiot, knowing nothing about the divorce process, I moved in with a man I had known for over 8years, and began a relationship. Ended up pregnant(yea, I don't know WHAT I was thinking) it didn't work out, moved back in with my husband when I was 7 months pregnant. My husband knew it wasn't his baby. I knew it wasn't his baby. The whole family knew but we wanted to give our marriage another try and decided to put him on the birth certificate and live happily ever after. Well, as you can probably guess, it didn't work out. Not at all.
Things got much worse, he was arrested for domestic violence/assault when the baby was 6 months old. After that, I had a full order of protection and he had supervised visitation with the children. That was SEVERAL years ago. His visitation never changed from supervised to unsupervised because he never followed any plans by the judge for the transition so his visits remained supervised for nearly 6 years.
Meanwhile, I moved in with my new husband about a year after my husband was arrested. We were living together, unmarried, for a long time. It was very hard divorcing my ex husband because he made everything very difficult. So, I lived with my husband(we were finally able to marry after my divorce finally happened 2 years ago), for a few years and had another child before I was able to divorce my ex husband. I know it sounds horrible. It was. We mostly just lived like a happy family and forgot about the ex. The children still went to the court ordered supervised visits but the ex showed up maybe once every six weeks. Sometimes not for months at a time.
My ex husband never bonded with the child who was not technically his. He was arrested when she was 6 months old, rarely showed up for visitation and overall doesn't seem to care for her. I think the only reason he has not contested the paternity is because his parents adore her. He does what his parents want. They pay all of his bills, always, including child support. After our separation, he has mostly just been on drugs and never had a real job or any interest in either of the children.
My daughter is now 6 years old. My ex husband is in more trouble, now, for abusing our son, our first child, who is now 9. It wasn't bad enough abuse to be prosecuted but enough to piss off the judge some more. The grandparents(they enable the ex to never get his act together) are afraid the judge will be taking away more of the ex's rights and access to the children. So, the grandparents have hired a lawyer to get separate, third party visitation to both children, separate from the ex.
My husband and I have a very good, happy, healthy life with our children except for the drama brought about by my ex husband and his parents. My husband has been living with me and my children since 2011. We have a child together, my 6 year old's little sister. They love each other and even share a room... except for when my son and 6 year old daughter always are required to leave for visitations-when the ex rarely shows up. The grandparents are threatening to take the children for separate visitation, giving my son and 6year old less time here. Is this a good time to maybe let the judge know that my 6 year old is not my ex's biological child or will the judge likely slap me for bringing it up after all of this? I know I cant keep my son out of the toxic situation with visiting the ex and grandparents but if I can save my 6 year old from it all, shouldn't I try? Or no?