Please help me :(

[enrique0012]

Jurisdiction

New Jersey

I am in desperate need of help. I live in the state of New Jersey, my son who will be 4 in December has been living with me over the past 3 years. I recently filed for full custody of my son with a court date of November 4th. His mother sees him on the weekends as he lives with me. Now that she knows I am taking her to court, she is tellin me she is keeping him and not giving him back until this is all settled.

Please help me, this is so not right, what can I do, can I show up to her house and call the police to have my son back? Can she do this despite me already having filed for custody and an upcoming court date??

 

[army judge]

Can I show up to her house and call the police to have my son back?

I suggest you call the police and request they meet you at her address.

Don't attempt to do anything until the police arrive, however.

When the police arrive, show them the court copy (with the court's seal) of your current custody order.

The police will do the heavy lifting.

During the time when the police are on scene (and before), I suggest you remain silent and in the background (off of the property).

Can she do this despite me already having filed for custody and an upcoming court date??

You've told us she has done this, and continues to keep the child away from you.

I suggest you document her actions in a notebook used ONLY for her actions refusing to comply with the court order.

In the future, I suggest you seek language in the court order providing for the transfer of the child to be done in the lobby of a police or sheriff station.

 

[ElleMD]

Were you ever married? Is there a current custody agreement which was approved by the courts (not just a verbal agreement between the two of you)? If so, what does it say?

 

[enrique0012]

We were never married. Yesterday I was suppose to pick me son up as planned, and she texted me saying she is keeping him. As soon as I saw the text, I kept the entire conversation and I printed out the entire conversation to present at the hearing.

We were never married nor have I been married. To clarify again, my son has been with me the last 3 years. I just recently decided to take her to court because she has never had it together financially and I have been very understanding of her financial situation, and she just gave birth to twins with another man like last monthand things have been even more difficult for me.

 

[Betty3]

Since you were never married to the Mother, did you go to court & prove paternity by DNA testing? If so, is there a current court custody order?

 

[ElleMD]

A print of a text is absolutely meaningless. Texts do not confer parental rights. If you do not have a current court order granting you custody, then you have essentially been babysitting her child for 3 years. When you finally get to court, the court *may* grant you primary custody based on the fact that you have been the primary caregiver, but right now, legally this is not your child. You must establish paternity first. Texts and verbal agreements do not do that.

 

[leslie82]

If you two were never married and you haven't gone to court until this recent filing - there's really nothing you can do unless the court grants you custody. It sounds like there's never been a custody order in place and there isn't one yet. You filed for custody - you have a hearing Nov 4. So until Nov 4 legally she has custody because you two were never married. Until the court decides who gets custody and a visitation plan, she legally doesn't have to give him back to you sadly.

You can show the judge that you have been the primary caregiver and what you have done the last three years. But until a judge rules on this and your paternity is established, legally you have no rights.